We're still 60 hours away from actually living in a different (bigger! newer! BIGGER!) house, but we have already met a few of the neighbors. At the risk of making a really bad impression before we even get there, let's just say they are . . . uh . . . interesting.
(Seriously, if we're moving next door to you, please GO AWAY! There's nothing here to see. Promise. Ta-ta! Buh-bye! It was so nice to meet you! We'll be seeing you later!)
The house that is directly across the street was the first to demonstrate some "personality." While we haven't actually spoken to the residents, during the Stanley Cup Finals, a life-sized cutout of a Detroit Redwing could be spotted from miles around, poking its head through the dining room curtains. That didn't turn out so good for the homeowners, but still. If I have to look at that thing when I'm in my new dining room? It will get ugly. I will acquire an army of Penguins lawn ornaments as Stage One of my revenge, and from there I will only get more vindictive. Watch me.
While I'm assuming that neighbor is a poopoo-head based on his hockey choices, I know that I already luuuuurve Neighbor #2. Neighbor #2 ventured out to say, "hello" the other day when we stopped for a minor little errand. She was (seriously) SO nice. It was luuuuuuurve at first sight. Not only was she nice, she uttered a few little words that made me want to bend over and kiss her bare feet.
They have a little girl. A 3-year old little girl. *swoon*
*passes out from joy*
*regains consciousness, thinks about the possibility of Alexis having a friend, passes out again*
Sorry, let me regain my composure.
Ahem.
Of course, life would simply be too perfect if that was the extent of our neighbor knowledge. I can deal with a little poopoo-head hockey cheering since it's TOTALLY balanced by the neighbor with kid thing. But, alas, that is not all.
Neighbor #3.
He's . . . uh . . . something. Or other. We happened to end up having a conversation with him the other day, and I spent the whole time looking for Allen Funt. Somewhere on cable there will be an episode of Candid Camera airing that will show the entire world just how funny it is to watch me fight back the urge to punch someone in the mouth. For the record, you can utter the f*word seven times in front of my kid before I grab my titanium spork and gouge your eyes out (in my mind). If you exceed ten cusses in front of the kid, that whole (in my mind) thing will very likely go away and there will be blood. Yours. And a lot of it.
I'm trying to have an open mind, but all those swears he dropped on my kid's head is making that very, very, very, very, very, very difficult.
Add in the fact that he full-out admitted that his dogs wander wherever they want (we already knew that, courtesy of several landmines in the grass), that he's the one who trashed our (future) back yard by using it as a driving range, and that he generally seemed like a character from a novel about trailer trash neighbors, and I'm not amused.
Project Erect a Fence just got upgraded to a URGENT PRIORITY.
Tuesday, July 14
First Impressions
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26 comments:
Oh... neighbour number 3 does not sound good at all... good luck. And just think of all the future blog posts you have just waiting to be written! And yes, that fence should be priority number 1 now!
Your neighbors sound... fetching.
But, in more positive news, LOVE her sunglasses.
Um, yeah, I'm thinking a fence just got moved up to #1 on your priority list.
And, um yeah, beyond jealous of Alexis (on E's behalf) for getting a new pint sized neighbor.
Awesome news about the 3-year old girl next door! I hope Alexis gets along with her, b/c that's perfect! We had some awesome neighbors move in two doors down from us last year that had two girls, one that is four, and one that is just two months older than our daughter, Abby, who turns three in August. The girls LOVE looking for each other in the backyard anytime we are out, and they get along fabulously. Additionally, they just had a third daughter two months ago, while we had a boy two weeks ago...seems like our families were meant to live near each other. Like I said, I hope Alexis enjoys the other girls company!
As to neighbor #3...uh...good luck. That is sucky beyond sucky, and would definitely make me want to cause bodily harm, too. What is with people that have no discretion or decency to others? Oiy. Again: GOOD LUCK. I hope it turns out better in the long run than first impressions indicate...
And congrats again on the awesome new house!
LOVE the photo!
Neighbor #3 sounds like Eddie from National Lampoon's Vacation. I'm just sayin'.
Good luck. ;)
good fences do make good neighbors, ya know...
Just want to point out that the neighbor who is a wings fan could have had the thing up on his lawn. He did keep it IN HIS HOUSE.
I grew up in Detroit. I am a wings fan. I get a lot of crap around here for that because I am not a loyal Pittsburgh fan - whether it be football, hockey, or baseball.
Now, I ask you, if you were to leave our great city, would you stop rooting for the Penguins or the Steelers? I doubt it. Would you stop showing your team pride in your own home? I doubt it.
Give the guy a break. He is only doing what you would do in the same position.
Neighbor #3 sounds like a nightmare, but I'm totally jealous about neighbor #2!
Good call on the fence. I hate weird neighbors ... *ahem* Mrs. Kravitz *ahem.*
In this place, we have really weird neighbors, too. They're a Korean family with a kid who appears to be about 10 who is NEVER ALLOWED TO PLAY OUTSIDE. EVER. I only see him going into or out of their house, and when he does, his mother is physically touching him in some way so as to restrain him. The kid yells out the window at people walking by trying with desperation to get interaction. It's the most bizarre thing ever.
What?! Who swears that much in front of a young kid?
But yay to having a friend for Alexis! That is wonderful news!
ha well, you win some, you lose some, I guess- especially in the neighbor department. Super about the kid next door though!! I can't wait to hear all about the Penguin Hockey Garden you create to compete with your Red Wings neighbor.
What fantastic news about the three year old right next door! Is the phrase that pays being upgraded to "Go outside & play with XYZ for a while"?
...He used your backyard as a driving range? What on earth possessed him to do that? Tell him next time he swears in front of Alexis you'll drive his 9 iron right into his teeth. That might shut him up.
Are you moving into my neighborhood?? Just kidding! #3 sounds like a real gem. But yeah for #2!!
ew...
Neighbor # 3 sounds like our trash neighbors who were eviction #1. All I can say, is keep the police non-emergency number handy.
Seriously! And you didn't manage to say something? I totally would have flipped my (insert f-bomb) (insert s-bomb) if it were me.
Signs that I'm old? I was at the mall the other day during my lunch hour with no kids. Three teenagers walked out with me and were cussing up a storm. I practically beat them to death, forgetting I didn't have small children with me.
But still. My children were within a two-mile radius of that mall, inside their classrooms, and there was the remote possibility that maybe they developed super-sonic hearing and heard those boys.
Also, if I ever make it to Pittsburgh, I'll try to remember to bring my clubs so that I can hit a few balls in your yard. You Pittsburgh people are so different than us Canadians/Southerners, who use our backyards as, you know, backyards.
We won all of our neighbors over by letting the kids dance naked in the front window.
And YEAH! for the little girl next door! We got new neighbors last summer whose girls are within months of Cooper and Maren. They all adore each other and play very well together. I am already dreading the day 3 years from now when they get their next duty assignment (he is military.)
Serious six to eight foot privacy fence. Good night Irene.
Focus on the positive (new playmate) and change the things you can (put up that fence asap). As to neighbor #1, I would think it would be great to have a friendly rival across the street. As long as nobody is obnoxious about it, it can make for some great parties.
ooooooooooooohh
Focus on the positive ;-) I used to live next door to a way-too-old-to-wear-daisy dukes-and-bikini tops-while mowing the lawn.. but did it anyway.
:-) New memories and an awesome fence ;-) YAY
Oh. My. Word.
He admitted to the fact that his dogs crap in your yard and he made divots on the back 40? What's wrong with HIS lawn? I've soooo ask him to help with the building of the fence, in a kind neighborly way. Offer him a drink for his efforts, and let it be the last. Ever.
So happy for you that one of your neighbors has a child Alexis' age! Hopefully she isn't a hellion, like some of my neighbors kids are. I have had my share of interesting neighbors, but over all have been very lucky. I definitely think if neighbor #3 has a wandering dog, a fence is a priority. We used to have wandering dogs in our backyard and it drove me crazy. Fortunately for us, we got a dog and subsequently a fence, so that problem is solved.
As for neighbor #1, I agree - have fun with the rivalry. I am a Purdue Fan and have IU and ND neighbors across the street and it is such a blast. And we have a Steelers Fan next door who of course is surrounded by Colts fans. Definitely makes for an interesting football season!
Build a fence and a moat filled with man eating crocs. Bad neighbors are the worst. I have to awesome retired neighbors. On one side I have a 75 year old Japanese marathon runner who likes to give gifts. On the other side I have a hilarious old lady that calls if anything is amiss.
1 outta 3 ain't bad, right? ; )
That last guy sounds like a real piece of work (a.k.a A TOOL!). Fingers crossed that he moves. And soon!!
Sounds like neighbor #2 should be just as excited about you moving in as you are about her having a 3yo daughter. The rest sound like they are fodder for a webcast series or something...
Dear neighbors:
Do not mess with her. She is SO TOTALLY NOT KIDDING. (And that's before she exhausts her extensive knowledge of revenge and turns to her loyal army...er, I mean faithful followers.)
Love,
me
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