I say, "No." She says, "Yes."

I ask her if she pooped. She lies and says, "No."

A parent leaving the room elicits ten minutes of squalling.

I say, "What do you want for dinner?" She says, "Cereal." I say, "How about pasta?" She says, "Cereal." I say, "How about a sandwich?" She says, "Cereal." We could go on like this for hours.

I request that she clean up her toys. She tells me "No way!"

She asks for crackers. I tell her no. She sobs.

I say, "That's bad." She laughs and does it again.

Her feet are suddenly developing a severe allergy to the floor.

Two.

It's coming.

1-27-2008

Run for your lives.