I'm cute when I think I actually have control over things. Like, when I thought I got to decide if our pond fish were staying or going? So adorable.

We started out taking the fish. That genius idea was followed by the realization that it's a helluva lot of work to move fish who live in a hole in the ground, so we decided to leave them. Then the buyer's inspector told him the pond was ruining the house. So, the buyer decided the fish were going. We had grand plans for a temporary pond situation at the new house. Then we didn't have grand plans. That was followed by not having any clue whatsoever what we were doing. And then a plan was hatched that was pretty doable.

At the very moment that the plan came together, the pond magically sprung a leak. Seriously, the very moment we thought we knew what we were doing, we came home to find the water had gone down four inches. Mr. Husband filled it back up, only to find it drained back down again the next morning. For over a week, we checked the pond several ties a day, desperately trying to make sure enough water stayed in the pond to keep the fish alive.

Our last water bill is going to be SO AWESOME.

At last, Sunday rolled around and we managed to put the plan into play. Mr. Husband scooped the fish out of the pond and crammed them into giant plastic bags. Of course, that was a lot easier to do with Sidney than it was Arnie.

Sidney is small enough to force into doing whatever it is that you want him to do. Arnie? IS NOT. Mr. Husband scooped him into the net and the dang fish started flailing and flipping and jumping. He might have also screamed. I can't be sure because while Mr. Husband yelled for me to help, I ran away, squealing like the wimp girl that I am.

(Mr. Husband is 6' 2". Arnie is as big as his leg.)

Once the really pissed off fish were loaded into bags and tubs, we stuck them in the back of our beat-up pickup truck and drove them to the pond store, where they are being fish-sat until we have a chance to build them a new permanent home. It was a special sort of trashy for the three of us to be piled into an old pickup, windows rolled down because the A/C is broken, and giant fish flopping around in the back. The best part of the 15-mile drive was the part how I kept staring out the back window, watching the fish. Cause, you know, if the covers had blown off the tubs and the fish had jumped out, I totally could have done something about it WITH MY EYES.

Once we made it to the fish store, we did have the pleasure of having the entire staff stop doing anything productive as they all gathered around Arnie to proclaim, "Holy crap, he's huuuuuge!"

Yeah, we know.

Fortunately, Arnie and Sid have a place to hang out for the next month or so, giving us time to build them a new home. It's a really good thing that was what I decided I wanted to do, because luck would have it no other way. Nothing screams YOU'RE FUNNY IF YOU THINK THIS POND IS STAYING like a nice-sized hole magically appearing in the liner.