If you wander around Instagram, perhaps you have noticed that a certain tiny person has a habit of sleeping with random items. It's part of her bedtime routine. First there is pajamas and then there is a book. The argument over the pacifier comes before the cozy time together in her chair, but after Mila has hunted for just the right thing.
Sometimes it's a toy.
Sometimes it's a stuffed animal. Or ten.
Sometimes it's a baseball bat. ( ... don't ask)
Lately it has been a doll.
THAT doll.
That particular doll is the one that Mila received for Christmas from one of her great-grandparents. It was love at first sight, but then love faded. It faded the way the love affair between a child and a toy often fades -- the doll went from being pushed around in a stroller one day to being naked and face-down in a pile of broken dreams the next.
Which, whatever. Some day Mila will watch Toy Story 3 and some day she will regret every horrible thing she has done to her toys. There will be tears and I will send her to Alexis so that they can go to therapy together. When they're done with therapy, I'll hand them a pile of naked Barbie dolls and they can comb Barbie's hair while they hand her back her dignity.
THAT doll, though. It somehow managed to rise from the ashes and find its way back to Mila's arms.
And that is exactly where it has stayed every possible minute of the day for the past few days.
On the surface, this seems adorable. Because it is. But, if you look deeper, ZOMG MAKE IT STOP KILL THE DOLL STAB STAB STAB.
It's nearly as big as Mila. Her trying to walk with her arms wrapped around it is like me trying to walk around while embracing a Saint Bernard. That means that Mila has gone from moving at the pace of OMGToddlersAreSoSlow to whaaaaat? Were we going somewhere? Naaaaaaah.
Further stalling the child who is already barely moving is the desperate need to stop and play pretend. Mila likes to play the part of the baby and the parent, which means there is a whole lot of "That's not nice" coming out of her mouth as she corrects the giant doll for whatever it is that dolls do to cause their keepers to be angry. I think the doll hit Mila once, which go ahead and picture how that works when you're playing pretend. You hit yourself and then correct yourself for hitting yourself and wuuuut?
Mila and her doll are special snowflakes. That's for sure.