Because Mila is five and very much so like every other five-year old in the world, she cannot be expected to keep herself busy all day while I work. She's very fortunate to have a big sister who lives to entertain her, but she's still left with a few hours every day when she goes looking for trouble.
Honestly, Mila doesn't need to look for trouble. It finds her just fine when she doesn't. When she does? ARGH.
Thus, I've been acquiring things. Many things. Mostly I've been acquiring crafty things because crafty things are exactly the things that keep Mila busy for a good chunk of time. She spent a lot of the first week painting everything she could get her hands on, which is exactly why there are paint spots all over the floor spread all across our house. It's not like I spread a giant plastic tarp in the dining room specifically so she wouldn't make a mess, or anything. Of course she had to wander around dripping paint all along the way.
OF COURSE.
The other thing I acquired is a sign of my insanity, but I'm not afraid to admit that I'm getting desperate.
I bought a looooooot of sporks, y'all.
Like, 1000 of them.
It turns out that it's incredibly difficult to acquire a small box of plastic sporks when you're a little desperate and need them to be delivered to your house. I can't leave the house for sporks, you know. They're important, but not essential.
I also purchased a giant pile of pipe cleaners.
And enough googly eyes to last about ... 17 years.
And clay.
And popsicle sticks.
Basically, I bought Forkie DIY kits. I bought enough to make a looooooot of Forkies. I bought so many Forkie supplies that Mila managed to keep busy making all sorts of variations of her favorite Disney character for HOURS. Legit, I think she spent a total of four hours making new friends on the first day and other hour or two every day since.
So if you happen to overhear a tiny voice yelling, "I am trash!" at the top of her lungs, that's why. It's not low self-esteem, it's Forkie. All of the Forkies.
(For those interested, here is the stuff I bought off Amazon. I am muchly conflicted about giving Amazon money right now, but Forkie. I needed Forkie. And, yes, this was like $50, but there is enough stuff to keep Mila busy for a good long time.)
Sporks
Pipe cleaners
Clay (this is REALLY good clay - it's soft but not sticky and really easy for little hands to work with)
Popsicle sticks
Googly eyes