It's Like Parenting Your Parent
Tuesday, June 27, 2017

As I sat across the table listening to the hilarious details of a vacation gone awry, it dawned on me -- I could be telling the same story. If we were to travel to the Grand Canyon, I most definitely would be telling the same story. There would be just one difference; my story would feature a toddler instead of a senior citizen.

I don't know how it has passed by all these years without me noticing, but toddlers and senior citizens are essentially twinsies. Let me count the ways:

  1. Which is more likely to wander off and end up in a senseless conversation with a stranger? I ACTUALLY DON'T KNOW. Mila did it twice today. One of those times she wandered off while a senior citizen was telling me a story about ... uh ... something.
  2. Is it the very young or the very old that you have to remind constantly to focus? My money says they're both highly likely to run off to find their shoes and instead end up standing in the kitchen eating a banana.
  3. Three words: Elastic-waisted pants.
  4. If you lock a toddler and a senior citizen in a room together for a day, how many stories will be told? TRICK QUESTION. Two. Two stories will be told because they're both incredibly likely to pick one story and tell it over and over and over again.
  5. Ask a toddler to sing her favorite song. Now ask a senior citizen to sing her favorite song. Which one of them got more of the words correct?
  6. I'll just say this: Diapers.
  7. They all fall down. It's not fair how we all manage to grow out of that phase only to grow back into it.
  8. If you need help finding the remote, don't ask a toddler or a senior citizen. Odds are it's missing because one of them touched it and now doesn't remember touching it.
  10. I've yet to meet a toddler or a senior citizen willing to admit they were wrong about something. Ever.
  11. But if you talk to either of them, you'll always be blown away by how wise they are.
  12. They're never too busy to stop and smell the roses.
  13. They both have to be told to quit dawdling in the middle of the street.
  14. Have I mentioned that both senior citizens and toddlers like to repeat the same stories over and over? Because Mila wants to tell you about her trip to the library. Again. And again.
  15. She's still talking about the library.
  16. She's going to be talking about the library until I'm a senior citizen.
  17. And maybe until she's a senior citizen.
  18. They're fantastic, even with all of their little oddities. It doesn't matter if we're talking about a toddler or a senior citizen, they're fantastic and unique and STILL TALKING ABOUT THE LIBRARY OMG.

 I could go on for a while, but I've got a story about a library I need to pay attention to.


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