Just Say No Next Time
Monday, August 5, 2019

The thing about Mila is that she has a better memory than absolutely any other person I know. She can detail what you were wearing when you went to that restaurant and ate those special foods that one time YEARS ago and she's right. She still refers to everything in the future as "tomorrow" and everything in the past as "yesterday" BUT MAYBE IT IS TO HER. Seriously, it's creepy how much she remembers. Maybe time is different for her?

It would explain a lot.

Regardless, it means you can not say, "Yes, you can have that later," because she will absolutely whip out her mental spreadsheet and remind you of that promise until you die from being browbeaten by a small child. If you promise something can happen after something else happens, you better mean it.

So, I dug myself into a hole. I know the rules and that they're important, but a moment of weakness? I guess? Basically, Mila has it in her head that she needs a pet hamster. One of Alexis' friends had one and Mila loved it ( ... to the point that I thought she had loved it to death at one point). She wants one of her own SO bad. In a moment of stupidity, I said, "Sure. After we get back from Florida and you sleep in your own bed all night long, you can have one."

Florida was like three months away at that point. Normal children can be told that and there is a 50% chance they'll forget that promise for YEARS. Not Mila! The very day we returned she was all, "Times up, bitches!"

It's a real good thing I put that second criteria on there.


Mila still hasn't slept in her own bed the entire night, at least not since she was in a crib. It has been YEARS. I don't much care as long as she leaves me out of her drama, which she doesn't because she screams bloody murder when she wakes up in the middle of the night, but we're working on it. That's her answer regarding sleeping in her bed, by the way. She will tell anyone who will listen that "we're working on it." It's kind of the cutest, except for the screaming in the middle of the night.


The good news is that Mila sucks at sleeping by herself. The bad news is that eventually she's going to remember the deal the second she wakes up and she's going to stay put. She's smart. She will have that moment.

I really hope it's not for a long time. Cats and hamsters aren't my favorite combination.

... I think I just hoped "out loud" that my kid doesn't sleep in her bed herself for a long time. SEE WHAT SLEEP DEPRIVATION WILL MAKE YOU DO?

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