If you are here to feel superior in your adulting, you are in luck because I am about to confess to a pile of parenting sins. Let's start with the fact that I haven't even tried to get my toddler to sleep in her bed in weeks. WEEKS! She's in a phase where she'll curl up next to me on the couch while I blog or work or edit photos or whatever and she just falls asleep on her own. No fuss AND I get to be productive. It's a fail, but it's a winning fail!
If you're like "but toddler sleep is hard for everybody," fine. I'll give you another way to feel superior. I have taught my tween that sometimes we need to hide when we eat treats.
Oh, but I have.
Mila is a junk food eating beast, so if Alexis and I would like a fighting chance of getting a treat, we better be sneaky. During a recent grocery run, we decided we needed a package of total crap cookies because sometimes total crap cookies are the answer to every problem. We knew we couldn't bust open those total crap cookies with Mila around, though. So, the second Mila went down to the Man Cave to hang out with the husband tonight, Alexis hit the pause button on the television, jumped off the couch, and very seriously looked over at me and declared, "IT'S COOKIE TIME!"
She said it in her wannabe Ace Ventura voice, by the way. It was really very lovely. (Ding! There's another reason to judge! My tween has watched Ace Ventura enough times to end up imitating it.)
So, Alexis and I huddled up on the couch happily munching on cookies. It was a perfect little moment.
We both have eyes that are bigger than our stomachs, though, so it didn't last long. We each ate like four cookies and then got distracted by the television. The cookies sort of just sat on the couch next to me.
And I forgot about them for like 10 minutes. I remembered them REAL quick when the husband showed up with a sleepy Mila who wanted to lay down on the couch and go to sleep. He lowered her to the couch and her face wound up inches from the package of cookies.
Christmas. If Christmas were a child's expression, THAT is what it looks like. Mila's eyes grew wide and then lit up with so much joy as she realized she had literally crash landed on top of some cookies.
Judging time! She ate A LOT of them.
Judging time! I didn't bother to try to stop her.
Judging time! The sugar high has kicked in, so she's now two hours past bedtime and still wide awake.
But, hey. I got to have a super perfect moment with my Big Kid and then I got to see Tiny's face light up with the joy of 10,000 Christmases, so I might just be the winningest failure there is.
