I didn't realize I have strong feelings about elementary school band concerts until, well, this year. I managed to go a solid 20+ years without thinking about them and then BAM! Alexis joined band and my blissful oblivion came crashing down.
All of my memories of band concerts involve looooong nights, uncomfortable clothes, and MISERY. I went to a school that was both an elementary school and a middle school, and I'm pretty sure we combined the grades for our programs. Each grade would take their turn, band alternating with chorus, and then before you knew it, three hours of your life were gone.
The concerts always took place in the gym, which was the smallest gym imaginable, as long as you ignored Bell Elementary School. Bell was the place where the free throw lines were the half court lines and if that isn't confusing to you, you're weird. It was confusing. Our gym was at least full length, but it wasn't anything extra. There was a very thin perimeter around the outside of the court and then you met brick wall. Basically, nobody was diving out-of-bounds during a basketball game because there was no out-of-bands.
Imagine shoving hundreds of parents and kids into a gym that isn't big enough to host a basketball game with spectators. It was just as delightful as you're imagining.
Of course, I spent my time in the crammed gym wearing cheap dresses I didn't want to wear, so it was UGH. Pile on a heap of mean kids and band concerts were a thing best forgotten. So that's what I did! For a long time!
Then Alexis brought home a note indicating that it was time for her band concert. I tried to schedule myself out of town for the event, but when that didn't work out, I prepared for the worst.
A toddler to distract me.
Snacks.
Drinks.
A fully charged phone.
More snacks.
Some snacks for the toddler whose job it was to distract me.
Duct tape.
As Alexis ran off to assemble her clarinet, we sat down. We managed to find a spot by some awesome people because once in a while I get lucky. As we chatted, the kids walked to the stage and the program started.
But the gym wasn't full.
It wasn't until that very moment that I figured it out.
Somewhere there is a genius. That genius decided to separate the grades into separate concerts, and to keep band and chorus on their own days. There wasn't a huge crowd because there weren't a lot of kids and ... 20 MINUTES. THAT'S HOW LONG IT TAKES TO HAVE A BAND CONCERT FOR JUST ONE GRADE.
Someday I'm going to have to explain to Alexis that back in my day, band concerts were terrible. They were uphill both ways in six feet of snow terrible.
But not anymore. HOORAY!
