Everything is a Competition

There's this thing that happens around here where we fight over the cats.

But not the dogs. Never the dogs. I will gladly allow the dogs to select anyone who is not me to be their favorite.

The cats, on the other hand, LIKE ME BEST. NEENER NEENER.

I don't know what started it, but there it is. Each and every one of us fights for the affections of the cats. SOMEONE has even taken to sneaking wet food to the kitten, which was a low blow since I was the original briber by way of food. My game was stolen.

Recently Alexis has upped her game. She will stop everything to pay attention to a cat or two. She pets them and gives them toys and generally stops the world for the fuzzy meowers.

It's working. For some reason, they are starting to REALLY like her. I mean, Max has always slept with her, but not Kiara is all ZOMG! IT'S MY ALEXIS! when she sees her.

It's not fair.

Alexis knows it. Alexis knows that she is winning them over, and she loves it. She gloats and goes on and on about how they like her better.

Earlier tonight Alexis stopped the world to love on Kiara. Kiara returned the favor by purring and stopping her world for Alexis. The love fest went on and on and on, all the while with Alexis grinning like a Gloater McGloaterton.

Then Alexis locked eyes with me and yelled, "IN YOUR FACE."

So, Internet, how do I make a cat like me best? Because GAME ON.

(I'm sure this thing where I make Kiara wear stupid stuff has absolutely nothing to do with her preferring other people to me. Impossible!)

Minestrone Soup

Minestrone is the best kind of soup.

Don't even try to argue with me. Facts are facts.

I've spent the past few years trying to find the exact right recipe that makes the perfect minestrone. I do believe I have finally found it. It was right in front of my face on All Recipes, which, THE HECK? How does that even happen? We won't even talk about how many trial and error attempts I had at trying to come up with a recipe on my own.

ANYWAY, this recipe works well, so I thought I would share it. I made some minor modifications to it because obviously. That is a thing I always do.

Minestrone Soup

3 tablespoons olive oil
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 medium onions, chopped
2 cups celery, chopped
2 cups carrots, chopped
2 cups vegetable broth
2 cups water
1 jar tomato sauce (any kind -- even Ragu and such, but plain/traditional works best, I think)
1 can red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 can green beans, drained
2 cups baby spinach, rinsed
2 medium zucchini, chopped
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon dried basil
salt and pepper to taste
1 cup seashell pasta
Shredded parmesan to taste

1. Toss the oil in a large stock pot and heat it over medium-low heat. Throw in the garlic and sauté it for 2-3 minutes.

2. Throw the carrots and celery in the stock pot with the garlic and sauté it all for 2-3 minutes.

3. Throw the onion in the stock pot and sauté it with all of the rest of the stuff for 2-3 minutes.

4. Throw the broth, water, and tomato sauce in the pot and bring everything to a boil, stirring frequently.

5. Reduce heat to low and add the kidney beans, green beans, spinach, zucchini, oregano, basil, salt, and pepper. Simmer over low heat for 30 to 40 minutes.

6. In a separate pot, boil water so you can cook the seashell pasta. It turns out that cooking it separately is the magic trick necessary to keep it from getting too soggy. WHO KNEW?

7. Once the seashell pasta is done, scoop some into a bowl and then scoop some soup over top. Sprinkle parmesan cheese over top and TAH-DAH! Minestrone soup! It tastes a lot like Olive Garden's, but doesn't come with the obnoxious wait for a table and all of that stuff.

The Rest of the Questions

I swear I'm going to shut up about All Of The Things soon, but y'all asked some questions and I should probably answer them, right? Right.

First, though, thank you. All of you. Your well wishes are all sorts of amazing and fantastic and very much so appreciated.

Sooooo ...

Question #1 that a WHOLE bunch of you asked: Alexis is happy. Excited. All of those things. She is actually why I had to tell the internet because she was telling the internet one person at a time all on her own. Otherwise, I totally could have gone MONTHS without saying anything.

I'm really good at secrets, you guys.

Question #2 that a bunch of you asked: I feel like crap. A warm, steamy pile of crap that caught the flu and then got run over by a semi. So if I've been seemingly ignoring your email or tweeet or whatever for the past few months, sorry. I was probably asleep. Or miserable. Maybe send it again? I'll probably still be asleep and miserable, but maybe it will be one of the top ones in my inbox so I'll get to it.

Sorry, I'm good at secrets, but I'm REALLY, REALLY bad at being awake these days.

Question #3 that only a few people asked, but that I might as well get out of the way: We will not be finding out sex. I get why a lot of people do, but I'm a really big fan of surprises and that's one of the only true surprises in life. For what it's worth, we didn't find out with Alexis either, but I KNEW. I just did.

I have a hunch this time, too. We'll see if I'm right when the end of May rolls around.

Oh, and if you're mad that we're not finding out, you can just get in line behind Alexis because she's madder. She literally yelled at someone at the Carter's Outlet last week because she wanted to buy an outfit with her very own money but there wasn't a single thing she liked that was "in the middle." She. Was. Pissed.

Retailers, take note. Pink and blue newborn clothes make some of us sad.

Question #4: Alexis' necklace came from Etsy, but I don't really want to say which store because I'm not totally happy with it. Part of it is already discolored. She has worn it non-stop for over a week, but I still expected a bit more for the $30 price tag. Maybe I'm crazy for expecting silver to stay silver, but I do.

If I've forgotten to address your question, throw it in the comments and I'll do some cleanup later.

Thanks again, y'all. You had me all kerfluffled over and over and over again all weekend.