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Thursday
Sep192019

Mila is Smarter than the System

For what it's worth, I long ago declared the "red, yellow, green" method of encouraging good behavior at school to be THE DUMBEST THING EVER OMG. Everything about the system is terrible and stupid and I'm very glad Alexis only had one year of it. Even better, her one year of it was a looser version that the norm with far fewer opportunities for stupidity to happen.

But here we go again.

Mila's kindergarten teacher believes in the whole thing. Every little angle of it. (Not shockingly, her teacher HAS to be about ten seconds from having retirement slap her in the face.) She believes in the worst version of the whole thing, the version where a daily status report comes home and I have to sign it.

It's one thing to judge my kid's behavior; it's another to tie my ability to remember to open a folder and sign something to her behavior. Spoiler alert: I'm really bad at signing things every day. I maybe sorta kinda taught a different kid how to forge my signature YEARS ago for that exact reason. Ahem.

ANYWAY. Mila sits at school every day, has someone decide if she deserves to stay at green or not, and then has to color in a circle on a piece of paper and bring it home for me to sign. This game is going to last until Parent Teacher Conferences when I'm going to argue my way out of the while thing (I hope) because IT IS SO DUMB.

Though, I will admit it's not likely to do Mila any harm. She's not the kind of kid who is going to be motivated by it, but she's also not going to be discouraged by it. She has already figured out that the kid who has been yellow for the past week is still rocking the yellow and nothing bad has happened to him. She doesn't realize that there's probably a bigger story to the whole situation; she knows that he's yellow and no angry dragons have flown down to the earth and swallowed him whole. Thus, she can be yellow and everything will be just fine. The flip side of it won't do much for her either - the "getting caught being good" side. While every once in a while she will be flattered by a compliment when she's doing something she should do, mostly Mila operates on the theory that she will do what she wants to do for her own reasons.

She is 100% self-motivated. Outside forces have no impact. Threats, bribes ... it doesn't matter. She makes up her mind to do what is best according to her view of the world at the exact moment that she has to make a decision.

A few days ago, the thing that made the most sense according to her world view was to take the little scissors that were in her hand and ... *snip*snip*

No photo description available.

You guys, the "It is attached" about killed me. WHY? WHY ARE WE SENDING HOME ENVELOPES WITH HAIR IN THEM? I know the answer is that evidence eliminates the opportunity for the parent to decide the thing never happened but COME ON. I've met Mila. Every ounce of me believes she would make the decision to cut her own hair.

Except ... she cut about an inch off of three or four strands. She didn't give herself crazy bangs or take a total whack at it ... three or four strands. I'm torn between, "Why do I need to know about this?" and "HOW IS SHE STILL GREEN?" If it's bad enough to tell mom, shouldn't it be bad?

I AM SO CONFUSED.

And so is Mila. We talked about how we're not going to cut our hair EVER AGAIN OMFG, CHILD. I was pretty clear that the only people who can hold scissors within a foot of Mila's head are me and professional hairdressers, AND YET. And yet, Mila's takeaway from the whole situation, " ... It's okay if I cut my hair. See! I was still green!"

Did I mention that red, yellow, and green behavior things are the dumbest?

Wednesday
Sep182019

Such a Cheeseball

IMG_3781

Tuesday
Sep172019

Enjoy the Silence

Back last November, a mountain of reasons fell on me and forced me to buy a car. I had zero interest in doing so, which was in no small part because I knew I wanted another Nissan Rogue. I happen to lurve them very much, but I don't lurve the fact that basically all of the dealerships in Pittsburgh have switched over to Cochran. Let's just say I'm not a fan and I became even less of a fan after the last round of car purchasing. That whole thing is a long story that's not any fun, but the point is it ended with me buying a just-turned-in lease instead of brand new because why not? Let's go ahead and save $10k and get a car that's only 2 years old.

I was pretty happy with that choice until Sunday. On Sunday I had to take Alexis to dance and then tumbling. The first trip was fine, but the second trip left me wondering. SOMETHING wasn't right with my now 3-year old car that I've had for 10 months. It was just a little not right, though.

And then I drove back home. That was when it became SUPER not right.

Fast forward 12 hours and I had the Rogue back at Cochran. Yay! My favorite place! EXCEPT NOT. Long story short, the transmission on my car - the one with less than 50,000 miles - is shot. WOOOOO!

Not WOOOO! I'm actually super pissed about it, even if it is going to end up covered under warranty. It went from fine to trashed in less than two hours and it's all very grrrrrrrr.

That brings us to the part of the story where I feel I can impart some wisdom. So this thing happened where I dropped the car off to be fixed, the service guy didn't bother to call me all day, and then when I was riding the dealership's shuttle back to pick up my car at the agreed upon time, they called with, "Oh. Hey. It's the transmission. We're going to need to keep it a few days. You cool?" As in, they literally forgot that I was supposed to pick the car up at 4:00 and was taking their shuttle at 3:30. The shuttle they sent to my office. To pick me up. To take me to the car that was supposed to be done at 4:00. They called me at 3:45 to say "we're keeping it" when they should have known I was already en route. o_O

So after a few minutes of confusion, the service guy asked if I had a way home, which led me to, "Uh, I need a rental," and him going, "Oh."

An hour later, I knew why his reply was, "Oh." There weren't any rental cars available anywhere near that location and all of the service department loaners were taken. I'm not really sure how any of that is my problem given the situation, but that's where we were.

So.

Picture this.

I'm standing in the service department. The guy has just said he can't get me a rental or a loaner, and has reiterated that he needs to keep my car for 2-3 days. He says, and this is a direct quote, "We can give you a ride home, though!"

My brain exploded. All of it. Little gray matter splattered here and there and everywhere. My brain exploded so thoroughly that I couldn't remember how to form words, so I just stood there and stared.

And stared.

And stared.

Total silence.

It went on for a solid minute or two, all the while the bearer of stupid news looked more and more scared.

AND IT WAS IN THAT MOMENT THAT I REALIZED MY POWERS OF SILENT STARING!

I had a loaner about 10 minutes later, without every raising my voice or making any sort of demands. It was magical, and immediately I set out to try the whole silent treatment thing in more situations. IT TURNS OUT IT WORKS! I was charged wrong at a restaurant for lunch yesterday, but when I quietly glared, it got fixed! A guy was a total douchebag in a parking lot at dance tonight and tried to mansplain to me how it was my fault he nearly hit a car and two kids, but when I quietly angry stared, he apologized!

TRY IT! The silent stare is so amazing!