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Wednesday
Jun202018

Tiny Spice

We've all inadvertently created a monster a time or two in our lives. We let a kid take a taste of a perfect ice cream, for example, and all of a sudden we have to share it forever and ever amen. I've made that sort of mistake enough times to know to be very cautious before sharing something I enjoy with the girls.

Alexis has learned her lesson this week. I hope.

I don't know what made Alexis think to show Mila a Spice Girls video, but she did. That led to another video and a lesson about who is who and ZOMG NOW IT IS ALL MILA WILL TALK ABOUT. For about a week now, Mila has spent every possible moment watching Spice Girls music videos, learning lyrics, and talking about how much she likes this Spice Girl or that one. Baby Spice is "pretty" for example, but Mila has no time for Posh Spice.

At this very moment, Mila is laying on top of Alexis demanding "Spice videos" but Alexis has no interest but haaaaa! Good luck with that, kid. Mila can demand the same thing for hours on end. It is her one and only duty in life to be annoying and she does it very well.

"Spice videos."

"I want Spice videos."

"Mom, sissy won't let me watch Spice videos!"

This has been going on for half an hour at this point and shows no sign of stopping. I super hope Alexis has learned her lesson because I have had quite enough of Tiny Spice making demands.

I wonder how this one learned Spice Girls lyrics? Hmmmm, I wonder.

A post shared by Burgh Baby (@burghbaby) on

Tuesday
Jun192018

No Soup For You

I'll be the first to admit I have it good. The 8-year age gap leads to two kids who live in very different worlds, and thus don't have much to fight about.

BUT WHEN THEY DO ...

Ugh.

Every Tuesday is about the same. The girls both have gymnastics classes, so we end up eating dinner on the run. Normally that means fast food before class, but lately I've been throwing snacks at them and then feeding them after class. It's been working to take some of the hectic out of our evening, so HOORAY! This week they couldn't agree on what they wanted for dinner, so I ended up getting them separate dinners.

Mila got hotcakes from McDonald's while Alexis was tumbling. We then picked up Panera for Alexis on the way home. Which, have you ever wondered who the heck orders broccoli and cheese soup in the middle of the summer? ALEXIS, THAT'S WHO. She doesn't care that it was 90 degrees outside and that she just finished an hour running and jumping in a place that doesn't have air conditioning. She likes hot soup no matter the weather.

For her part, Mila picked the hotcakes thing. She had all the choices in the world and the one thing she was absolutely certain about was that she did not want Panera. No way. No how. FORGET IT, MOM. So we grabbed the soup for Alexis on the way home and then ...

Then the girls then spent the next 20 minutes fighting over the damn broccoli soup.

Mila wanted to eat it because she was still hungry. SURPRISE! Who would have guessed that the kid who ate every speck of butter but only a few bites of pancake would still be hungry? But Alexis didn't want to share her soup because she was also hungry, what with it being her first chance at dinner and all.

Basically, I had kids in the back seat of a car yelling back and forth.

"I WANT THE BROCK-LEEEEE!"

"NO, IT'S MINE."

"BUT I WANT THE BROCK-LEEEE!"

"I'M NOT SHARING THE BROCCOLI!"

They went on and on and back and forth and WHO THE HELL ARGUES ABOUT BROCCOLI SOUP ON A 90 DEGREE DAY? ::headdesk::

To make matters better, at one point Shawn Mendes cut into the conversation. As his voice came across the radio, he quietly said, "Help me," to which I wanted to reply, "Child, you have no idea how bad things can get. Come at me when you've survived two kids fighting over broccoli soup."

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Monday
Jun182018

Mermaids

I have a few questions, internet:

1. Does swimming in a pool count as a bath?

2. How many hours of swimming in a pool are too many hours of swimming in a pool?

3. WHY IS MILA SO BONKERS?

If you're guessing that questions 1 through 3 are very closely related, you are a winner! Mila has decided she is going to spend every minute of every day swimming. The weather turned warm and suddenly she is part mermaid. I am not exaggerating in the least when I say she spent over 7 hours swimming on Sunday.

SEVEN HOURS.

She emerged from the water only to go potty and to eat. Other than that, she swam swam swam swam. Which, that's another issue. While a few weeks ago she was dependent on a more capable human to assist her, she has now figured out how to swim by herself, albeit with a swim vest on. Which, cool! EXCEPT NOT.

Mila knows she doesn't need anyone to help her, so while she could be relied upon to stay away from the pool when nobody was around two weeks ago, NOT ANYMORE. I caught her trying to put her vest on by herself and jump in the pool no less than a dozen times and gaaaaaaaaah. It's like watching a one-year old dart into traffic, except wetter. Just as dangerous, though.

She lacks the fear once she's in the pool, too. She will gleefully jump from the top step. She is absolutely confident she will bob back up to the top of the water. Which, okay, she will, but STILL. There is something absolutely terrifying about watching your baby jump into a pool and then just sort of float her way to the surface.

And she knows I think it's terrifying.

So she does it as often as possible. It is her purpose in life.

The good news is that I think maybe we can count seven hours in the pool as a bath and if I'm wrong about that, shhhhhhhhhh. I'm going to live in denial.

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