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Friday
Jun232017

This is Three (Again)

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October 203

Thursday
Jun222017

It *Is* Cute

The secret to tricking your kids into thinking they get to do fun stuff ALL of the time is to have a few strategic season passes. Thus, we've got the Kennywood thing going on as well as the Zoo. Kennywood is mostly for Alexis and the Zoo mostly for Mila.

It seems fair.

It works really well because we can get to each one about once per month and it magically seems like we're always going somewhere fun. Don't tell the girls they're really only going to two places because we can't have it ruined, mmkay? Of course, we're talking about two kids who still think that if we stop for ice cream after one of those destinations, I'm the best mom ever. They actually think I'm doing it for them. Instead of me. Even though I just plain want ice cream myself. So, maybe they'll never figure out that we keep going the same places over and over.

ANYWAY.

We did the Zoo loop of the festivities this past weekend, which made Mila all of the happy. She's mostly in it for the bouncy bridge, cheetahs, and petting zoo but WAIT! There are new things!

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Not that I have any decent photos to prove that it's anything other than a black blob, but it is! It's the pygmy hippo! Mila parked her little self in front of that thing and watched it float to the surface of the water, sink to the bottom, and float back to the surface over and over. She sat there for a good 30 minutes, which was basically long enough to create her own little groove in the sidewalk. It was all very exciting.

Unless you're Alexis. That particular kid sort of outgrew the Zoo a few years ago, mostly because she's done at least 4624598 field trips to there. Note to educators and such who arrange these things: everybody else thinks of the Zoo, too. Try harder.

Alexis was all ::yawn:: about the pygmy hippo. Except, she's not allowed to be obnoxious about her boredom because what comes around goes around. Mila has already sat through way more than her fair share of dance classes and cheer practices and all sorts of Alexis events. Alexis gets to sit quietly and shoosh when Mila is having a moment of her own.

What's fair is fair, you know?

So, we sat there approximately forever while Mila geeked out over a tiny hippo. Alexis was bored the entire time, which earned a giant pile of whatever from me. But then, just as it was time to walk away, Alexis bothered to make eye contact with the animal which she had never seen before.

"MOM! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME IT WAS A TINY HIPPO! LOOK HOW CUTE IT IS ZZZZZOMG!"

She wanted to stay and watch it for a while. TOO BAD, SO SAD.

Good thing we have a membership and will be back in like two weeks, I guess.

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Wednesday
Jun212017

Let Me Count the Ways

If you are here to feel superior in your adulting, you are in luck because I am about to confess to a pile of parenting sins. Let's start with the fact that I haven't even tried to get my toddler to sleep in her bed in weeks. WEEKS! She's in a phase where she'll curl up next to me on the couch while I blog or work or edit photos or whatever and she just falls asleep on her own. No fuss AND I get to be productive. It's a fail, but it's a winning fail!

If you're like "but toddler sleep is hard for everybody," fine. I'll give you another way to feel superior. I have taught my tween that sometimes we need to hide when we eat treats.

Oh, but I have.

Mila is a junk food eating beast, so if Alexis and I would like a fighting chance of getting a treat, we better be sneaky. During a recent grocery run, we decided we needed a package of total crap cookies because sometimes total crap cookies are the answer to every problem. We knew we couldn't bust open those total crap cookies with Mila around, though. So, the second Mila went down to the Man Cave to hang out with the husband tonight, Alexis hit the pause button on the television, jumped off the couch, and very seriously looked over at me and declared, "IT'S COOKIE TIME!"

She said it in her wannabe Ace Ventura voice, by the way. It was really very lovely. (Ding! There's another reason to judge! My tween has watched Ace Ventura enough times to end up imitating it.)

So, Alexis and I huddled up on the couch happily munching on cookies. It was a perfect little moment.

We both have eyes that are bigger than our stomachs, though, so it didn't last long. We each ate like four cookies and then got distracted by the television. The cookies sort of just sat on the couch next to me.

And I forgot about them for like 10 minutes. I remembered them REAL quick when the husband showed up with a sleepy Mila who wanted to lay down on the couch and go to sleep. He lowered her to the couch and her face wound up inches from the package of cookies.

Christmas. If Christmas were a child's expression, THAT is what it looks like. Mila's eyes grew wide and then lit up with so much joy as she realized she had literally crash landed on top of some cookies.

Judging time! She ate A LOT of them.

Judging time! I didn't bother to try to stop her.

Judging time! The sugar high has kicked in, so she's now two hours past bedtime and still wide awake.

But, hey. I got to have a super perfect moment with my Big Kid and then I got to see Tiny's face light up with the joy of 10,000 Christmases, so I might just be the winningest failure there is.

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