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Thursday
Apr182019

I Agree, Mila

Hello, 80 degrees! I love you! I missed you so much!

We basically spent every possible moment outdoors today, which wasn't really all that much, but I'll take what I can get. Mila played on her swing, both girls made me feel guilty about there still not being a trampoline in our yard, and then we all went for a quick walk because obviously.

We made it about halfway across our yard before it started. The whining. SO MUCH WHINING. Mila is really very good at being a whiny whining whinerton and OMG THAT KID CAN WHINE. "It's too stiiiiinky," she kept complaining.

"What smells icky? Waaaah," she whined.

"Ewwwwww, what smells so bad?" she complained some more.

SO. MUCH. WHINING.

The real problem was that she was right. The stench hanging in the air smelled a lot like a slimy jock strap dipped in rotten eggs and left under the rug in a men's locker room. IT WAS SO GROSS. Of course the whole thing led to lots of questions and while I knew the answer, the girls didn't believe me.

The Stupid Pear Trees.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE PLANT THEM. I know, they're pretty when they're blooming. They're so perfectly shaped when they're just leaves. THEY ARE EVIL, TERRIBLE, AWFUL TREES. STAAAAAHP. Between the splitting and the falling and the dying, The Stupid Pear Trees always end dumb. And they stink on their way there.

So much stink.

I explained that it was the trees to the girls about 4135018351 times, but they refused to believe me. Finally, I grabbed a blossom off of a tree and handed it to Mila. She took one sniff, curled up her face in disgust, and declared, "WHY IS THAT REAL?"

Why, indeed.

Wednesday
Apr172019

Uh ... Yeah

I don't know what it means that:

1. I never put kindergarten parent orientation night on my calendar, even though I put EVERYTHING on my calendar because I will leave a kid unattended in another state if I don't have daily reminders to tell me where to be and when.

2. I didn't mention kindergarten parent orientation to anyone.

3. That was all over a week ago. I, a mommy blogger, did not blog about the milestone that is kindergarten parent orientation.

Okay, so I do know what it means. HOW IS THIS KID A ... KID?

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SHE WAS JUST BORN. SHE CAN'T START SCHOOL. I'M GOING TO KEEP TYPING IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE THIS IS VERY WORTH YELLING ABOUT. KINDERGARTEN.

KINDERGARTEN, YOU GUYS.

HOW?

::sigh::

Unrelated ... school meetings are really very different than business meetings. I'm used to an agenda and people being in a hurry to wrap things up and don't even with that story that has nothing to do with what we're trying to accomplish and OH. EM. GEE.

School meetings are painful. So painful. They're just so ... leisurely. And chipper. And off-topic. There's a lot of random things flying in from here and there and everyone is very easily distracted.

Mila is totally going to love kindergarten.

Tuesday
Apr162019

Boomerang

Mila and I have been going for a walk through the neighborhood most evenings. Technically, I walk while she rides her tricycle, but you get the point. She's really very happy to chug along and point out all sorts of things along the way.

We have to stop and look at every single little flower. That's swell when we get to the yard that's filled with dandelions and clovers. It takes ... a while to get get past there.

We have to stop and talk about every single dog along the way, including the concrete statue of a Bulldog a few doors down. Dogs have always been a highlight in Mila's life.

We pause to comment on the colors of the sky, especially when Mother Nature puts on a show at sunset. Pink and orange clouds will always be worthy of a "Wook! They're so boo-tiful!"

We look for yellow cars. We talk about how everybody is sleeping or everyone is outside or why is that boy not wearing a shirt while he plays basketball? Mila asks every question that pops into her head, often with a  rapid-fire style that makes me question how much duct tape you're allowed to use on a kid before someone calls CYS.

It's all very leisurely.

Except for Sunday night. Sunday night we waited just a little bit too long to get moving and ended up going outside as a storm was starting to report for duty. We were a block from our house when the wind suddenly picked up, knocking over a neighbor's trash can and scattering garbage all over the street.

I have never seen a tiny person pedal as fast as Mila pedaled when that trash started flying. She was Dorothy chasing Toto as the house crashed down on the witch and it was HILARIOUS.

I know I'm not supposed to laugh, but you have to picture her tiny little legs pedaling SO FAST and not really going anywhere because tricycle. Those things just aren't made to move fast. Even with me holding the handle on the back and pushing her, she was moving soooooooo slowly compared to the amount of effort she was putting into it.

And then it started to rain. Mila very literally raises her fist to the sky and shakes it in anger when the weather doesn't do what she wants, so she was the little person pedaling frantically with her fist in the air and an angry expression on her face. All she would say was, "STOP RAINING, SKY!" and I shouldn't have laughed as hard as I did.

Or maybe I should have because we are talking about the kid who licked me when she wanted my attention at lunch the other day. KARMA, MILA. IT'S REAL.

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