Screw the Impossibilities

They say lightning can't strike the same place twice, but I'm here to tell you that's not true. Lightning strike Number Two is snoring softly across the room right now.

The first time lightning struck, it was luck. The second time, it was luckier because that time we knew. We knew that we were being gifted with something that was just this side of impossible.

When luckier happens, a lot changes. All those years of fighting impossibilities is supposed to dissipate and you're supposed to just be grateful. And I am. But, the impossibilities found their way into my soul. They aren't leaving. So, what other people think and what I think aren't quite aligned.

I know the impossibilities lost, but I don't always feel it. I still get that twinge of jealousy when there's a lightning strike announcement. I still fight the urge to roll my eyes when someone complains about having a bunch of lightning strikes close in age. I know it's hard to parent a bunch of lightning strikes close in age, but do those parents realize how much harder it is for some people to get lightning to strike once, let alone a bunch of times in quick succession?

It's not fair to anyone, but what about life is fair?

The hardest thing about being on this side of two lightning strikes, though, is knowing. You know how very worth all of it they are. You know how fantastic life can be. You so badly want everyone to get a chance to see for themselves.

I want all of you who are fighting the impossibilities to feel the amazingness that is a lightning strike.

I wish wanting was enough to make it happen.


9 Months

Mila turned the page on 9 months this weekend, which left me thinking about what I could write here about this stage in her awesomeness. In the time I spent thinking and trying to define who she is right now, she ripped Alexis' knitting project off of the needles, stuck her hand in my oatmeal, and figured out how to turn off the cable box.


That's who she is right now. She is that baby who has an entire world to explore.

She has furniture to climb.

She has fires to start.

And she has chairs to eat.

In other words, right now Mila is that baby who should wear a "Supervision Required" t-shirt everywhere she goes.


Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Bars

I don't pretend that the things that go on in my head make any sense, which is why I can admit that I had a whole argument with myself today. "Make peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, self." "No, make cheesecake, self." "Cookies." "Cheesecake." "COOKIES." "CHEESCAKE."

The argument went on and on and only ended because it occurred to me that I could make both.

I spent another five minutes or so arguing with myself about how exactly to go about making both when I decided to see if Google had any ideas.

Of course it did.

In fact, it had a GREAT idea.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookie Cheesecake Bars by Pinch of Yum.

It's cheesecake surrounded by cookie.

It's genius.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Bars

1/2 cup butter, room temperature
1/2 cup white sugar
1/3 cup light brown sugar
1/2 cup peanut butter
1 egg
1 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup instant oatmeal
2 cups milk chocolate chips
1 8-oz package of cream cheese, softened
1/3 cup white sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.

2. Now make the cookie dough. First up, the butter, sugar, brown sugar, and peanut butter. Place them in a large mixing bowl and mix at medium speed until everything is light and fluffy.

3. Add the egg and vanilla and mix some more.

4. In a separate bowl, place the flour, baking soda, and salt. Whisk it all together then add it to the sugar/butter mixture. Mix it for a minute or two to combine everything.

5. Add the oatmeal and chocolate chips and stir. Set the cookie dough mix aside for a minute.

6. Now it's time to make the cheesecake filling. Throw the cream cheese, egg, sugar, and vanilla into a medium bowl. Make your mixer earn its keep for a minute or two, or until everything is well mixed.

7. Grab a 9-inch square pan.

8. Put half of the cookie dough into the bottom of the pan and smoosh it down until it has made a nice level base.

9. Pour the cheesecake mixture on top of the cookie. Smooth it out with a spatula as desired.

10. Grab the rest of the cookie dough. Break it into small chunks and drop those chunks on top of the cheesecake. No worries about whether it's pretty or not because the cookie dough will spread a bit while baking.

11. Speaking of baking, once you have everything in your baking dish, cover it with aluminum foil and bake it at 325 for 20 minutes.

12. At the 20 minute mark, take the foil off. Bake for another 15-20 minutes at 325 degrees. It's done when the cookie on top turns a lovely golden brown and the cheesecake is set.