Get On Her Level



All of the Smarts

As a matter of fact, yes. Yes, I do spy on the girls' conversations.

While their conversations are surprisingly complex, it's not like they tell each other their deepest, darkest secrets. Yet. I'm sure they will some day, but it probably won't be until after Mila figures out that it's okay if she doesn't repeat EVERYTHING she hears.

She's a parrot. It's a fact.

Alexis is aware of the parrot status, so she sticks to giving Mila wise life advice. Alexis tells her baby sister about how it's a good idea to save the long-sleeve shirts for cold weather. She explains that brushing your teeth before bed keeps the dentist away later. And, my personal favorite, she often advises Mila not to argue with me. "Mom is always right, Mila."

That's not exactly a truthy statement, but it's cool if they want to both think it. The teen years will be infinitely easier if they stick with that idea.

Sadly, Alexis may say that I'm always right, but she doesn't always act like it. She's been known to argue with me about all sorts of dumb stuff. Tweens are awesome, y'know?

Recently, Alexis decided to argue with me about whether or not she needed to clean up her shoes. The answer, of course, was FOR THE LOVE OF GUMMY BEARS, JUST CLEAN THEM UP. I don't know what made her think it was worth debating the point, but as she cruised her way towards having all of the not-put-away shoes thrown in the trash, Mila interrupted the argument.

"Less-us," Mila started as she whipped out her judgy face and wagged her finger. "Mom is always right."





They Didn't Learn It From Me

The kid who knows how to properly use the television remote has a way of finding the most annoying programming EVER. Ever, ever, ever. Whenever I think we have hit a low for terrible television, she proves me wrong by finding something even more terrible.

Alas, she was watching something on Nick where the entire scene was about someone making noises in the bathroom. THOSE kind of noises, to be exact.

Of course, that particular kid happens to be at an age where obnoxious bathroom noises are hilarious. She was nearly falling over laughing at someone's unfortunate circumstances, which now that I think about it, those unfortunate circumstances were real. The actor in the situation was a kid, which means he is going to spend his life writing "Kid with bad gas" on his acting resume. That is all of the unfortunate.

The other storyline happening alongside the bathroom scene involved some other kid who was getting busted for doing something or other. I know that's a very specific sort of description, but that's all I managed to catch. My ability to focus on terrible television is somewhere between NOPE and NO WAY. But, I do know there was a kid in trouble. Maybe that kid in trouble caused the unfortunate bathroom situation?

I don't know.

I just know that I have effectively managed to describe a terrible idea for a television show. And yet someone was paid to write it. OH MY.

So, while Alexis was busy laughing at the awfulness, there was a tiny little person named Mila contently staring at the television as well. She was quiet as she observed. She was so quiet, in fact, that it caught my attention. How was she not laughing at the stupid on the television? Or at least laughing at her sister laughing? SHE ALWAYS LAUGHS AT HER SISTER LAUGHING.

Unless her sister is laughing at something not funny, I guess. It was an interesting turn of events.

But then it turned more interesting.

As the show shifted focus away from gross noises and became all about the other kid in the show who was in trouble, Mila began to laugh. AND LAUGH AND LAUGH AND LAUGH.

"She in trouble!" she said between belly laughs. "She bad!" the giggles continued.

On and on she laughed as the kid got busted for whatever.

So, yes, my kids will laugh at your misfortune. They may not laugh at the same misfortunes, but they will laugh.