Monkeying Around



It Took the Pens Winning the Cup for Me to Get a Family Photo



Fearless. Still.

For those of you keeping track, Admirality has taken the lead. You can, of course, change that if you'd like.

I don't know how to fix the entire world, but I know how to make a difference in this corner of the world. Right about now, making small differences feels necessary.


I'm not a fan of reality shows. Whether or not they are actually based in reality is irrelevant; they feel faker than anything scripted to me. The whole thing where the villains are actually just being themselves hurts my head. I prefer to pretend there are no purposely bad people in this world.

(I know. I know ...)

Despite my lack of interest in reality shows, I think I would like to start one. It would star Mila on Thursday nights and would track her from the moment she sees the gymnastics building until an hour after her class when she finally stops screaming at me for forcing her to leave.

You guys, she's hilarious.

The second Mila saw the building, she started pointing and yelling, "GO THERE! THAT WAY! GOOOO!" so apparently she wanted to return? Maybe? I might have figured out her feeling by the yelling, but the fact that she threw her shoes off before she got out of the car confirmed it. From there she ran barefoot across the parking lot, with her usual lack of concern for cars, and plowed her way through a crowd to get to the entrance to the play area.

During class, she once again refused to participate in the stretching portion of the activities, insisted on bouncing on the trampoline as much as possible, and jumped from the top of every thing she could find laughing every time she fell.

She's a nut.

The highlight of this week, however, involved a zip line. So, I don't know, I suppose most two-year olds are smart enough to avoid such things. They're also probably smart enough to insist that a grown-up hold on to them while they hang from it. Maybe they ever let go before reaching the end of the zip line.

Guess who did none of those things.

The first time Mila tried the zip line, I grabbed her near the end and forced her to fall into the giant pit filled with squishy foam squares. She cackled with glee because falling is awesome when it doesn't hurt.

And then came Round Two.

I maybe sorta totally forgot to stop her. I maybe sorta didn't notice that the tape that usually stops the zip line before kids crash in to the wall was missing. I maybe sort of stood there staring as Mila went *SPLAT* right into the wall, after careening a good ten feet across the foam pit.

She slid down the wall, you guys. It was like watching a cartoon. When she was done sliding down the wall, she landed in the ball pit and promptly told me off. She doesn't know any swear words yet, so she invents her own and she used ALL of them as she told me how terrible I am.

There's wasn't a Round Three this week, but based on the fact that the kid was trying to do back handsprings on some big foam roller things, I'd bet that by next week she is done being mad that I failed her and will return to throwing herself from high places using a zip line. With any luck, I'll have video of the occasion.