2017 total: $12105.73


I'm Not Sure Who Is Having the Most Fun

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Party at the Potty

If we gaze 20 years into the future, I can tell you exactly which of my kids is going to be a nonstop party. It's not hard to figure out, especially considering one of them told me today that her dream job would be to own a bookstore that has cats and cat-safe plants in it.

One of my favorite things about Alexis is that she occupies the space where being a cheerleader and being an aspiring cat lady can co-exist. It is truly a magical juxtaposition.

Mila, though. Mila is a party. She will be in the future and she is now. The girl can make any moment fun if she sets her mind to it. That includes going to the bathroom.

I've never met someone who throws a party every time they go. But now I live with her. I don't know what exactly happens in there because while my privacy is negotiable, Mila's is not. Don't you dare peek in that little room because she will yell at you until you cry for mercy. Her potty time is sacred, got it? Get it.

While I'm not there to see it, I do know a few things. For one, our toilet paper usage has quadrupled since Mila became potty trained because she likes to make confetti. She mostly cleans it up, so whatever, but WOOOO! CONFETTI PARTY! I also know she moves my toothbrush every time she disappears into a bathroom. I should probably ask a lot of questions about that, but I'm scared.

Now that I see that in writing, I think that little game is going to end. It's time to hide my toothbrush because, seriously, WHAT IS SHE DOING WITH IT?

The other thing she does when she's in the bathroom is sing. At the top of her lungs. It's a long, non-stop display of karaoke skills that are seriously hilarious. She's just so damn happy when she's belting out a tune and thinks nobody can hear her.

Please don't tell Mila we can hear her. I don't want the potty party to end for a very long time. Like, maybe EVER because the potty party is probably the only party that I won't have to worry about with that kid.

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