Opposites Are So Fun

In retrospect, I should have figured out that Alexis is a Drama Queen much sooner than I did. If I go all the way back to when she was a tiny baby, I can think of the times when she proudly donned her crown. She used to throw parties to celebrate being awake, even at 3:00 in the morning. She was very vocal about the dogs making eye contact with her. In fact, she would scream as if one had bitten her when all they were doing was licking their own butts all the way across the room. Let us not forget that this is the child who was a human version of Michigan J Frog.

And she was TERRIBLE about teething.

For weeks before she would get a tooth, there was drama. Fevers! Runny nose! AND SO MUCH COMPLAINING. The poor kid was miserable while getting teeth. MISERABLE.

I felt terrible for her. At the time.

Now, I'm rethinking that because this one?

This one is the opposite of dramatic. She's all smiles and giggles and YOU GUYS, HER GUMS WERE BLEEDING WHEN I TOOK THAT PHOTO.

No joke.

That little girl, the one grinning from ear-to-ear, had three new teeth poke through the day I took that photo. THREE. I only noticed becauseshe was drooling like a fool and I went poking around to see where she might be getting teeth in like a month. Isn't the drooling supposed to come before the teeth bust through? Not after?

No matter.

The kid wins the gold medal at the Roll With It Olympics.


Baby Kryptonite

There was this really delightful thing I used to do to Alexis when she was one year old. I used to set her own in the grass and walk away. Far, far away. I could walk to the grocery store, around the block, or even to the planet Mars. It didn't matter because the child was rendered incapable of doing ANYTHING. She refused to touch the grass with her hands and she needed hands to stand up, so she would just sit there, waving her jazz hands in the air, rendered completely unable to function.

She would sit there.

And sit there.

And sit there.


This weekend I found Mila's kryptonite.

A coat.

The snowpants really didn't bother Tiny, but the second I stuffed her into the coat, she was done. DONE.

The poor kid couldn't even wiggle her fingers.

And it was AMAZING.

So now I suddenly feel the need to have Mila wear a coat all of the time. She made it all the way to eight months without wearing one, but now I think she should wear one around the clock. She'll be hot, sure, but she won't be into everything.

So fun.


Monkey Bread

We had lots of plans for this weekend, but then they fell flat in a giant pile of snow, much like this.

So! What happens when I'm stuck at home for an entire day? I COOK! FOOD! REAL! ACTUAL! FOOD!

Sorry, but this is worth of !!!!!! because the cooking real food thing has been lacking lately. It was a true accomplishment that I made bean burritos and  this rice, and an even bigger accomplishment that this caramel corn happened.

Then things got serious. It was Alexis' fault. She begged for Monkey Bread and then asked if I had posted the recipe here for her yet. She knows that recipes wind up in this space so that she can refer to them in the years to come. She was APPALLED that I hadn't given her the "secret" to Monkey Bread. I tried to tell her that there are approximately 234573948109 web pages devoted to that recipe, but she was having none of it.

"I want YOUR recipe, mom. It's the best."

She doesn't know that, for what it's worth. She's never tried anyone else's recipe.

Whatever. She asked mostly nicely, so here it is. My version of Monkey Bread.

(In the interest of full disclosure, I had to make this TWICE to satisfy the Alexis because I don't measure stuff and she got flustered when I tried to teach her how to make it without using measuring cups. I had to do a Round Two so she could measure everything carefully like the rule follower she is. Also, I think this recipe uses less biscuits than most. That's because I make it smaller so it won't need as long in the oven. I have no patience.)

Monkey Bread

2 cans refrigerated biscuits (the small ones in the tube that makes the THWACK sound when you open it)
3/4 cup white sugar
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1/2 cup butter
2/3 cup brown sugar

1. Heat the oven to 375 degrees.

2. Take the biscuits out of the can and cut them into smaller pieces. I go with 8 pieces per biscuit.

3. Throw the sugar and cinnamon in a Ziploc bag and shake them together. Throw the biscuit pieces in there and shake some more until the biscuit pieces are coated.


4. Dump all of the biscuit pieces into a bundt pan.

5. Melt the butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Add the brown sugar and stir until you have a caramel sauce.

It's too hot to taste test, by the way. Just trust me on that.

6. Pour the caramel over the biscuits.

7. Bake at 375 degrees for 20-25 minutes. They're done when the biscuits you can see are golden brown. Also, it can't hurt to pull a piece off and check for done-ness.

Not that I tested with this batch. Nope. You're imagining that there is clearly a piece missing in the bottom left corner. Ahem.

8. Now you have to get this thing out of the pan. The fun thing is that all that butter makes that job easy. Place a plate on top of the bundt pan.

And flip. Don't forget to protect your hands from the hot that is the bundt pan.

It will all come out very easily.

8. Good luck managing to take a photo or two before little hands invade your space.