2016 total: $2706.45



It's possible that I believe in the possibility of jinxing things, but I might also be suspicious enough to think you can double-jinx and thereby unjinx things. It's kind of like using a double negative - if you jinx something twice, that's the opposite of jinxing it.

Thus, jinx #1: Mila was AMAZING on Friendsgiving.

We host a bunch of people the Sunday after Thanksgiving every year. It serves as a sort of deadline for getting the house all put together for Christmas, plus it means the house ends up clean. I am absolutely one of those people who only cleans when other people might see it. Between the cleaning (Which WOAH. We might need to host a little more frequently so it's never that bad again.) and the cooking, I had no time to make sure Mila wasn't standing in the corner with a book of matches while she tested to see whether Little People or Pillow Pets are more flammable. She was truly on her own for most of the morning, with the freedom to play with whatever she wanted.

You guys, on a normal day, I pull her down for bookshelves and tables at least 18 times. She didn't climb AT ALL.

She played quietly. And peacefully. And was super independent and awesome.

It couldn't possibly happen twice, right?

Time for jinx number two! Last night Mila joined me for a girls' night out. There's nothing better than Mexican food followed by milkshakes (yes, my girls' nights out are very fancy). Except, it turns out Mila disagrees. The second she figured out that we were headed downtown, Mila decided we must be repeating Light Up Night. Light Up Night was basically us walking around with milkshakes and watching fireworks, and MAN does that kid love fireworks.

Obviously, Pittsburgh has fireworks every night. That's what Mila thinks, at least. It's not all that far from the truth, frankly, except that there were no fireworks on this random Wednesday at the end of November.

When Mila realized there were going to be no fireworks, I waited for fireworks. I know the moment it happened, and even in retrospect, I'm in awe. Mila didn't try to throw the earth from its orbit. Instead, she focused on sparkly Christmas lights and "Mila's tree" by PPG Place.

All trees are her trees.

Which means I told her there would be no fireworks and that the tree wasn't hers both in the same night.

And I lived to tell the tale.

I don't know what this magical voodoo is that has resulted in Miss Mila acting like a pretty awesome kid lately, but I'll take it. Or I won't not take it. Whichever words are most likely to unjinx the thing I'm not jinxing.


I Should Have Listened

Tuesday was the Mondayest Tuesday that ever Mondayed. We were coming off an extra long weekend. I piled some vacation days on top of the holiday, so Mila ended up with six days in a row when she didn't have to wake up by any particular time.

Mila thinks waking up is stupid. It's especially stupid if you do it early.

So she didn't.

Mila slept until 9:00 or later nearly every day that I was off from work. I'm still waiting for Alexis to sleep past 9:00 multiple days in a row, so basically Mila is my favorite.

But then Tuesday showed up.

I made sure Mila went to bed at a decent time Monday night. I mean, she was in bed. She wasn't asleep. That didn't happen until way later than it should have, but I can't force the kid to close her eyes. She has to be responsible for something.

Like staying in her bed. Mila is responsible for staying in her own bed all night. She doesn't do it, but maybe some day she will? Maybe?

She didn't that night. Monday night she fell asleep late, woke up a bunch of times throughout the night, and then woke up for good early and UGH. There was actual pain dripping from her cries. The biggest problem was that she was already awake when my alarm went off, so I spent several minutes trying to pry myself out from under a toddler while simultaneously trying to trick her into falling back asleep. I think there are like three episodes of Friends that might have helped, but I haven't watched them lately.

(Hug and roll, kids.)

I thought I was in the clear when I finally slid out of bed, but I was very wrong. Yelling crashed through the silence. Mila was absolutely convinced that I needed to get back in bed. She yelled at me that I didn't need a shower. She yelled at me to lay down. She yelled at me to put my pajamas back on. There was a lot of yelling.

I handed her a tablet to watch Paw Patrol and headed to the shower anyway.

I stepped in cat puke along the way.

And then while I was in the shower, the light bulb burned out. Like, I was head-to-toe soap and suddenly it went dark and I'VE SEEN THAT MOVIE. It ends very badly for anyone who screams, so I didn't scream. But I wanted to. Dark showers are scary showers.

Somehow the man with the very big knife forgot to bust into the bathroom, so I returned to check on Mila.

She yelled at me to get back in bed.

All of that happened in the span of about 30 minutes, so I've declared that if ever again a Tuesday tries to Monday that hard, I'm going to listen to Mila. She's pretty smart when she says the only solution is to go back to bed.




Dream Big, Little One

As it is the most wonderful time of the year, my dining room is filling up with toys for Christmas Crazy. It's the best. Seriously. There will come a point when I will make a most excellent pyramid out of toys, photograph it, and then quickly rush it to Center for Victims. It will be AMAZING.

But, until then, it piles up. Slowly, but surely.

This has never been an issue in the past. Alexis has always perused the pile, often expressing an interest in some of the things, but not in a "I want THAT" sort of way. More of a "I wouldn't be sad if I had one of those, too." She has found books she wanted to read, toys she thought were awesome, that sort of thing. She doesn't try to "adopt" anything, though.

Hi, Mila.

Mila is having a toddler-sized meltdown over the pile of toys accruing in the dining room. Daily. Every day some new amazing thing shows up and she decides she should have it. Then a few minutes go by and she sees another thing. She then ditches the first thing because PSHAW! She shifts focus to the new thing. Lather, rinse, repeat. She can go from thing to thing for hours.

It's hilarious if you're me.

It's probably not hilarious if you're Mila.

Mostly I think it's probably not hilarious if you're her because her focus is weird. Like, she CANNOT get her way. It's impossible.

For example, there's a Poppy doll. She wants the Poppy doll to turn into a Branch doll because Branch is who she thinks is the best.

Poppy isn't going to magically morph into Branch.

Even better, there is a toddler slide. On the box, there is a photo of two kids playing. Mila keeps saying, "Big kids get off the slide so I can play." Like, she thinks that if she kicks the two kids in the picture to the curb, magically the slide will be hers, all hers.

It won't be.

She already has a toddler slide. There's no reason for her to have even a moment of access to another one.

At least Mila knows to dream big. Why ask for something you can have when you can hope for the impossible?