Thursday
Aug252016

She'll Do What She Wants When She Wants To Do It

I never claimed to be the quickest Pikachu in the pokedeck, so it shouldn't be a surprise that Mila is already two years old and I just now figured out the issue with her eating and stuff. Better late than never, I suppose!

If you've been around for a while, you probably remember that Her Highness wouldn't take bottles. That's fine and dandy, except for the part where she spends her days at daycare. She made it through the first year of her life essentially refusing to eat unless I was around. She got by on less than 4 ounces of milk each day for a while.

And there's your answer as to why she's so tiny. Still. Because she only eats when she decides she's going to eat.

While the original pickiness was all about the food delivery system, now it's seemingly something else. Mila will eat breakfast 2, 3, and sometimes even 4 times. There have been many days this week she shoveled a peach into her face, chased it with a waffle, and then still ate an entire breakfast sandwich from that fast food place that makes people feel like judging parenting skills and stuff.

STOP JUDGING ME.

Ahem.

She does okay at lunch, allegedly. We send a bunch of little bowls of food and they mostly come back empty. Somebody is eating it, I suppose.

And then there is dinner.

FORGET IT. Mila cannot be convinced to sit nicely and eat dinner for anything. You'll find Donald Trump holding hands with a Mexican and a Muslim while singing Kumbaya before you'll get Mila to eat a reasonable dinner. Tonight she took a pouch of yogurt, decorated the table with it, and then licked a spoonful of the yogurt before declaring herself "All done."

That was an improvement over every other day this week.

In the car before dinner, however, a different thing happens. A few days this week, I happened to have snacks. Okay, so one night I had dinner. I mean, I had "dinner" because "dinner" was a bag of chips. Look, sometimes you have to go straight from picking kids up to dropping kids off and there isn't time to get them to a restaurant or home in the middle. On those days, it sometimes works out that I grab things from a vending machine before running out of work. It's better that they get a snack than to try to have them wait for dinner when we get home after 8:00.

Just go with me on this. I've spent the last few years figuring it out, so I've already come to terms with the insanity that is giving a kid chips when it's time for dinner.

So I had those snacks and so-called dinner, but I didn't expect Mila to care. I expected Alexis to make lots of happy noises as she inhaled the food, but Mila doesn't eat dinner.

It turns out Mila will eat pre-dinner. We're 4 for 4 with our recent attempts -- Mila will absolutely eat whatever I give her as long as it's before 5:30.

So, I figured it all out. Mila spent the first year of her life only eating from 5:30 pm to 8:00 am. Now she only eats from 8:00 am to 5:30 pm. Nothing has changed, really. She just flipped her schedule upside-down.

Until tomorrow, I'm sure. Now that I've figured this out, who knows what she will do next.

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Wednesday
Aug242016

She'll Be Right Back

I don't know if there are words that adequately describe just how strong-willed Mila is. Her absolute focus on getting her way is going to serve her very well through life. Later. Eventually. Ahem.

For now, it entertains the heck out of me.

Am I not supposed to laugh when a 2-year old refuses to get out of the car unless the right person is the one unbuckling her? Because I do. She will push everyone away until she gets what she wants. By the way, when she pushes people away, she literally says, "I push." She knows she shouldn't do it, but she doesn't care. Mila owns her rule-breaking ways.

It's physically impossible to get Mila to sit nicely in a shopping cart. I've tried bribery, electronics, snacks, begging, paying her, all sorts of things. She's just not going to do it, which is fun since there are a fair number of Target shoppers who like to glare at me because Mila stands in the back of the cart. There is absolutely a chance that she will fall over at any time, but it's better than letting her roam free in the store. She's like a hungry lion checking every shelf for prey when she's on the loose.

My new favorte Mila-Will-Get-Her-Wayism is how she handles her need to go to the playground  when we're at cheer practice. Cheer practice is generally a guaranteed time to play, but every once in a while, I have errands to run. I try to drag Mila into the car so we can get moving, but she's all, "You so crazy." She stands her ground really well, but this week she upped her game.

"I be right back," she said. She said it approximately 13532414 times as she continuously walked towards the playground. I kept saying, "We need to go," and she kept saying, "No. I be right back."

I would approach her to pick her up and she would raise her hand and declare, "I be right back" and then run away. Once she "I be right backed" her way to the playground, she managed to play at every corner as I followed her around.

I'll be right back.

A video posted by Burgh Baby (@burghbaby) on

It was pretty genius, if you think about it.

Which, um, it was pretty genius. She's two. It's going to be super challenging helping her figure out how to channel her superpowers for good and not evil as she gets older.

Tuesday
Aug232016

The Good Days are Good

Have I mentioned that I love age 2? Because, man. Every day is a great day with Mila, even the days that aren't. Two is the age that is all about telling it like it is. When Mila is miserable, she puts it on display. When she's happy, that gets displayed as well, but she can't stand to feel things alone. Mila always takes you with her.

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Mila is absolutely playing it cool in that photo, but when that little car hit the curve and spun her around, she giggled with glee. Then she would hit a straight-away and turn all serious again, only to be all of the happy when it came time to spin again.

I could watch her discover that rides are fun for hours.

Which, for the record, I did. Somehow I was the kind of crazy that purposely takes four ten-year olds to an amusement park. But we're not talking about just any ten-year olds - we're talking about Alexis and her friends. They're all basically incapable of doing anything bad, so they can be trusted in all sorts of situations. I mean, if you were to do the marshmallow test with any one of them, the marshmallows would still be there. Guaranteed.

I'm pretty sure the fact that all of the girls are so ridiculously good is the reason another mom volunteered to go with the crew to Kennywood. She gets fifty gold stars for accompanying me as I let the big kids run around like fools, especially because she took on full responsibility for them a few times so Mila could visit Kiddieland.

While the big girls took on giant coasters, Mila took on Lil' Phantom and the Kiddieland Whip. Over and over. Which, thank goodness. At some point in recent history, Kennywood changed the height rules in Kiddieland. Mila is about a foot too short to ride most everything. Fortunately, she will ride the Whip 40 consecutive times, if given the opportunity.

Mila will probably be tall enough for the swings in Kiddieland at about the same time she is starting kindergarten. When that day comes, she's going to be the kind of happy that adds years to your life.