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Friday
Aug092019

The Best Thing About Photos Is You Can't Hear The Whining

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Thursday
Aug082019

Mommy Blog Business

The girls had their annual check-ups this week, which means I am getting closer and closer to just flat-out missing one of Alexis' appointments. She turned 13 way back in January, but our insurance requires 12 months between exams, so it slips later and later each year. There's also the fact that I can't seem remember that if I call today, they won't have an appointment for at least 6 weeks. I know that, but I don't seem to retain that information and thus call six weeks before I want to try to go. Instead, I call thinking I'll get in within a week or two, and then I learn that I'm smoking crack or something because NOPE.

Anyway. Better late than never? And eventually I'll get to skip a year?

Since this is very much so a mommy blog, it makes sense to go ahead and document the results.

1. Two healthy girls! Yay!

2. Alexis is consistently on-brand with her very average height and weight. It's crazy how she went from BIG GIANT infant to SUPER BIG toddler to ... very average teenager. She's 5' 3" right now, which I'm beginning to think means she isn't going to end up taller than me. Somewhere along the line, some smart person predicted that she would be 5' 8". I'm 5' 7". I think the smart person was wrong and she's going to be lucky if she makes it to 5' 6". We shall see.

3. Mila can only hope she eventually grows to be over 5' tall. The kid is TINY. She was 5th percentile for height and weight, and happens to be exactly on her growth curve. Mila is very consistent in her short and smallness. The smart people who predict things say she is going to end up 5' 2" tall. We shall see ... maybe she'll get lucky and get a major late growth spurt.

4. I still like the part when the pediatrician asks the Big Kid if she smokes, vapes, or drinks and the Big Kid looks at the pediatrician as if she has just said Gilmore Girls is the worst TV show of all time. It's pure disgust and confusion, as if the mere suggestion that Alexis might smoke is the most offensive thing of all time.

5. Mila, though. She heard, "Have you tried vaping?" and was all, "No, but that sounds AWESOME! Can I try?"

For real. That's the words she said. Out loud.

THANKS, MILA.

(The answer is "no". Always.)

6. Mila passed her vision test. Right before kindergarten was when Alexis first started to struggle with vision tests. She had glasses before Thanksgiving. Maybe Mila is going to get lucky and not have her eyes go to hell prematurely like the rest of us have? Maybe? Let's hope.

7. Mila is a stunningly good listen when there is a doctor involved and she's hoping she doesn't have to get shots. I might have to figure out a way to incorporate the threat of vaccines into all of our days. It's MAGIC.

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Wednesday
Aug072019

Queen Mila

So, this happened.

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The fact that I'm still thinking about it DAYS later probably says something.

I'm still thinking about it for three reasons:

1. This was hours after the El Paso shooting. HOW DOES SOMEONE LET THEIR KID WALK AROUND WITH A TOY GUN AFTER THAT? I am sincerely asking because I don't freakin' understand. The toy gun in question was inflatable and camouflage, so clearly a toy, BUT STILL. How do you see that innocent people lost their lives to an act of pure hatred and later let your kid carry around a reminder of that nightmare? It's not that hard to divert your kid to another prize. I know, I do it all the time. You don't even have to make a big deal out of it. Your kid picks up a super noisy toy? You grab another one and gush about how cool it is. They may not go after that cool toy, but it gets their attention so you can move away from the future headache.

2. The other mother's reaction to this scene speaks volumes about #1, I think. She was PISSED. And not at her kid. At Mila because she hurt her preshuuuussss boy's feelings. For what it's worth, the boy hit Mila on the back with that same toy gun three times before she turned around and glared at him then smacked it to the ground, and it was a gentle "smack to the ground." It was with the same amount of force that you would use to fix your own baseball cap if it had started to drift up her forehead. For what it's worth, the boy had also hit me with the gun (thus why I was paying ALL of my attention to the scene) and two other kids who were in line. Apparently the mom didn't see that he was LITERALLY HITTING MULTIPLE PEOPLE with his toy because she was stunned by the whole thing. And Mila shouldn't have touched his toy. Or something. I don't know because my eyes rolled out of my head when the other mom started to go off on Mila.

3. Mila. That kid. She is ... magnificent. Everything that makes her a challenge to parent makes her such a great person. She sets boundaries and protects those boundaries SO well, especially for someone as young as she is. She's not mean-spirited in her execution, either. She's just very matter-of-fact. Your gun is in my space and that's not okay, so put it down. Done.

I really want to be Mila when I grow up.