Saving Mila



Visual Proof that Time Passes Much Too Quickly



Tigger Can Stay

While the Big Kid and her (lack of) sleep patterns have always befuddled me, Mila I understand. Little Miss Mila and I are sleep twinsies. We both will happily stay up until all hours of the night, but don't expect us to be coherent until the clock finds double digits.

If you're lucky, that is. We both like to wake up at noon even more than we like than 10:00.

Unfortunately, noon is not a choice. My alarm starts yelling at me before 6:00 rolls around, and I need Mila awake not long after. Unfortunately, and I don't know why, I am completely unable to wake a baby. As in, I can easily spend half an hour staring at a sleepy baby and having an anxiety attack just thinking about poking the tiny little person.

I've been late for work a lot because it took me a while to work up the nerve to wake the sleeping Mila.

It was on one of those mornings when I was trying to muster the cajones necessary to wake her up that I started to really question why I'm so bad at waking her. It should be noted that she wakes up perfectly pleasant. It's not easy to wake her, but it's not like she rips heads off or anything. Usually she smiles and coos and is perfectly happy to start her day.

(That will end. My sleep twinsie will become a beast in the morning in about ten years.)

So as I was standing there trying to figure out why I'm such a wimp, Alexis came trouncing into the room. She's the Tigger to my Eeyore early in the day so just looking at her as she bounced made me want to snarl. I mean, how is she so happy so early in the day? It's ... exhausting.

As I pondered, the answer to my question bounced in front of me. I can't wake a sleeping baby because only a moron would wake a sleeping Alexis. Waking a sleeping Alexis is essentially impossible, to be honest, because she is ALWAYS awake. I mean, I could probably count the number of times I've woken that child up. Even if I counted in her entire life, the number would be low. Very low.

And with that, it came to me. For years and years, Alexis made sure I knew that she was awake because she used to wake me up. Every morning. At WAY TOO EARLY o'clock.

That is the moment when I put Alexis in charge of waking Mila each morning. Alexis is the alarm clock and then fashion coordinator responsible for getting Mila ready each and every morning.

It works beautifully. That skill that Alexis has mastered, the ability to wake people, is finally focused in a productive way. She's a master alarm clock who now just needs to find a way to turn her skill into a career.

In the meantime, she practices.


She starts with an in-your-face stare.


Then she smooches her victim.


Then she pokes.


Then she pokes harder.


Next comes the hug tackle.


And then the victory.