Thursday
Apr092015

Bunnies and Impossibilities

A year ago at this time, I was overwhelmed by the impossibilities. The days were passing and it was becoming more and more obvious that the impossible was indeed possible, but I didn't quite believe it.

The evidence of my disbelief was everywhere.

There was a nursery to be completed, clothes and other essentials that needed to be purchased, and all sorts of things undone. It became a joke amongst people who see me daily. "Did you start getting ready for that baby yet?" they would ask.

"What baby?" was always my reply. Denial is a powerful drug.

That's why the moment stands out as much as it does. It was the moment when I took a leap of faith and made a silly little purchase.

************************************************************************

I have a thing for clearance shopping after holidays. There's no other way to decorate a couple (dozen) (ahem) Christmas trees than to accumulate the ornaments on clearance. I don't just do it for Christmas, though. Pretty much every holiday is wrapped up with a hunt for some very seriously marked down items.

It was April of last year when I walked into Walmart. It's not my favorite place to go, but sometimes it's the right place to go. On that day, I was there to grab groceries, but there was a little aisle of Easter items on clearance. I walked by once and grabbed a few bags of candy for an egg hunt we were attending in a few days. I walked by again a few minutes later and grabbed a stuffed bunny.

The bunny wasn't anything special, but it was 90% off. A mere $1 was all it was going to take to make Alexis so very happy. She's addicted to stuffed animals, even though I very seriously doubt she would notice if I were to box up 50 of the stuffed animals in her bedroom. There are just so many, not even FIFTY of them could make a dent. But, man, does she love them.

I walked to the front of the store to pay for my items, then paused. I had just one bunny in my cart.

But.

But there could be two kids by the time Easter rolled around again.

I grabbed a second bunny.

But then I put both bunnies back.

And then I grabbed them again.

Times ten.

I kept circling the store, arguing with myself about whether or not to spend $2 on some stupid stuffed animals. It was just an extra $1 that I was spending, but it represented a heck of a lot more.

It represented faith.

I eventually bought the two mostly identical bunnies. They sat in a closet together for a year, just waiting for Easter to roll around again.

Mila loves her bunny.

Wednesday
Apr082015

Balance Doesn't Exist, But Perfection Does

I've come to a conclusion that I'm sure many would argue with, but it's my truth right now: there is no such thing as work/life balance.

There are weeks when I barely see the girls. Work takes over life. I'm lucky if I'm able to grab dinner before 9:00 pm. I'm even luckier if I manage to grab dinner at the same time as the girls.

Other weeks are different. They are a bit more manageable. When I'm having one of those weeks, I often wonder what the "give" is. There is always a "give," you know. Something is suffering if I'm spending more time with the girls. It might be the housework, it might be my career, it's something. definitely something.

Everyone has 24 hours in their day. Working full-time means many of those hours are controlled by other people.

But the hours that I control? Those are the hours that really matter.

And I'm going to keep fighting to use them in the best ways possible.

Tuesday
Apr072015

Some Things Never Seem To Change

You guys, I legit can't figure out if Alexis KNOWS. I feel like she must by now, but she sure doesn't seem to be acting like she KNOWS when she does things like this.

That little letter addressed to the Easter Bunny was her Saturday night project. For what it's worth, there was no scooter. The Easter Bunny is terrible and horrible and doesn't see anything wrong with the Barbie scooter that lives in our garage.

Besides that, the Easter Bunny delivers candy. He doesn't deal with that bikes and such.

So while Alexis seemed to be kissing up to the Bunny with the basket filled with candy, she also (maybe?) Freudian slipped and asked where *I* hid her basket instead of asking if I knew where the Bunny hid it. But was it a slip? It very well might have been an erroneous choice of words based on the way she was seriously worried about whether or not the Bunny would prank her that night.

She KNOWS I will prank her. That doesn't scare her. The Bunny pranking her keeps her up at night, though. And she was up most of the night.

Regardless, following her around as she finds eggs is still hilarious. She's still terrible at looking. She's still not a huge fan of all the candy. I'm still the prime beneficiary when she doesn't want the candy.

But look out. This one has discovered the magic and joy that is sugar and she is so ready to dive in and steal the fun.