Ruh-Roh

I wouldn't say it never happens, but it is rare that I swear out loud. I like to save my four-letter word tirades for very special occasions. For example, when the Penguins are eliminated from the playoffs or when I manage to open a car door straight into my face.

I totally dropped about six swears the other day. I walked out our back door, started to cross the driveway, and let loose. This thing is why:

That's a kitten. A friendly kitten. A kitten that is maybe three or four months old. A kitten that is SUPER skinny and most likely homeless.

ALL OF THE CURSE WORDS.

To make it even better, the kitten was walking between the legs of Alexis and her neighborhood friends. It braved their screaming and yelling and general craziness so that it could say "hi" and HOOBOY. Have you met my child? She has never met an animal she didn't want to keep.

Case in point: She met a pet bunny a several months ago. She has asked for her own pet bunny on a weekly basis ever since. (The answer is NOOOOOO.)

Alexis started in on me the very second she saw me. "Mom! A kitten! Can we keep it!"

Real talk: if the whole thing had happened before we adopted Kiara, there would be no Kiara in our house. I would have agreed pretty quickly. Now, though? We have three cats. That's exactly one cat away from crazy levels, and I can't cross that line. NO. NO. NO.

I told Alexis that it wouldn't be happening. She made a pouty face at me and went back to playing.

And then the husband walked out of the house.

You know that thing where Alexis has never met an animal she didn't want to keep? That thing is hereditary and she didn't get it from me.

ALL OF THE CURSE WORDS.

A few days later, there is not a new kitten in my house. I am steadfast on the NOOOOOOO. There is, however, a kitty homeless shelter set up in our backyard, complete with a restaurant, bed, and every little thing that a homeless kitty could ever wish to have.

ALL OF THE CURSE WORDS.

(Anybody know where he came from? Or want a kitten?)

It Gets Harder

With each tick of the clock, it gets harder. How are we supposed to act? What are we supposed to do?

There was a time when we all agreed that shock and horror were the appropriate responses. Now? I don't know.

We don't seem to agree even a little bit. We criticize one another for talking about it, for not talking about it, for watching news coverage, for not watching news coverage. Grieving is a deeply personal thing, but yet we think that if people are doing it in a way that doesn't work for us, they are wrong.

NEVER FORGET.

We shout the words.

What do they even mean?

Alexis asked me that today. She asked me why grown-ups kept saying "Never forget." I tried to explain, but came up short because what do the words even mean?

Nobody has forgotten. Sometimes we choose to remember silently.Sometimes we choose to remember out loud. Sometimes we choose to remember while laughing.  It doesn't remember how we do it -- the fact is that we all remember. Even Alexis -- who wasn't alive yet when it happened -- remembers because she has seen the images every September 11th for her entire life. It is part of the history books that she will some day read. It's the subject of the memorials she has visited. It's as part of her American experience as baseball, apple pie, and McDonald's.

With each tick of the clock, it gets harder.

The Sparkly Herpes of Planet Earth

There is definitely an inverse relationship between the number of photographs I take for other people and the number I take of my own family. Let's just say life has been SUPER full lately because, uh, yeah. There aren't nearly as many photos of Alexis from the past summer as there probably should be.

And there certainly aren't any "planned" photos, which is to say that other than the daisy photos, there was never a point when Alexis purposely made her wardrobe choices for a photo and then posed. She generally doesn't do the whole plan-and-pose thing for me anyway, so unless I want to pay someone else to take photos of her while I stare angrily at my $$$$$$$ camera equipment, it isn't happening.

Unless I bribe her.

I'm sorry if you can't bribe your kid with a trip to the library. It really is the greatest thing ever because FREE. And EASY.

Besides promising a trip to the library, I also bribed Alexis with promises of a fancy outfit.

And by "fancy" I meant that I planned to make her a tutu. She mentioned that she wanted a new one a few months ago. When I brought it up and asked her to tell me which colors and such, she got REALLY excited. Pink! With sparkles!

So, which one of you told her that there is such a thing as tulle with glitter all over it? Because it wasn't me. I didn't take Alexis to the craft store with me. She made the WITH SPARKLES! declaration from our driveway while in the midst of spraying herself in the face with the hose.

I obliged, but IT HURT. Real pain. It was all about the bribery.

Have you ever dealt with glittery tulle? It's a very special circle of hell where little tiny pieces of glitter have a giant glitter orgy all over some fabric. It leads to baby glitter pieces and MORE BABY GLITTER PIECES AND ALL OF THE GLITTER IN THE WORLD OMG. I don't know how it is possible that there is so very much glitter crammed onto some fabric.

The night that I made the tutu, it looked like a unicorn had blown up in our living room. There was SO MUCH GLITTER EVERYWHERE. It was all over me, all over our couch, all over absolutely every surface. To make matters even more awesome, Kiara the kitten decided it would be SUPER fun to lay on the finished tutu, thereby coating herself in glitter. She then went running all over the house like a tiny exploding glitter gun. BAM! Glitter over there! BAM! Glitter over here!

A week later, there is still glitter EVERYWHERE. You can follow the trail from the couch all through the basement and upstairs and OH, YEAH. It's in my car, too. There is no way to transport a glittery tutu to a photo shoot other than to put it in your car and WOW DID THAT END BADLY.

So much glitter.

Everywhere.

But. BUT. She who does not do the plan-and-pose thing only tried to get out of our agreement for 2.9 seconds. After that, she put on the tutu and she rocked that tutu and she made me take about ten times as many photos as I had planned.

So if you see me looking at glitter and smiling, now you know. It's not that I've completely lost my mind. It's that sometimes plans come together and sometimes Alexis has fun doing something I was hoping she would have fun doing. And ... glitter. It's pretty awesome sometimes.

(When it's not in my house.)