I've Been Called Much Worse

There is a song by Kelly Clarkson that is called "Dumb + Dumb = You." It's not a particularly remarkable or even memorable song. It's the sort of album filler that gets ignored. It's neither bad enough to warrant an actual opinion, nor is it good enough to make you take notice and start singing along.

It is such a nothing song that after reviewing it to make sure it was OK for little ears to hear, I thought nothing of it. There's no swearing or anything like that, so I added it to our regular car rotation. The regular car rotation is comprised of almost exclusively obnoxious pop music, so more is better. Repetition is the source of the crazy-making. Sanity finds solace in a larger library of terrible.

As Alexis and I were making our way to camp one morning, the background music turned from Big Time Rush and Maroon 5 to Justin Bieber and otherwise awful music. I didn't hear it because I was focused on every possible thing other than the noise. Alexis, on the other hand, was focused almost entirely on the sounds coming through the car speakers. There is always a dance in her head and a song in her heart, so it makes sense that she was carefully listening to the new-to-her song as she tried to determine if she should memorize it and sing it over and over and over and over until my head explodes, or if it was just as nothing as I thought it was.

By the time Clarkson got around to singing the chorus a second time, Alexis had developed a very strong opinion. "Momma, can you change the music, please? This song is too mean," she reported.

She was genuinely upset.

The lyrics she found offensive were these:

"Dumb plus dumb equals you."

Alexis was near tears as she continued on to tell me about how it was so very mean to not just call someone dumb, but to call them dumb over and over again. She was SO very upset.

And I couldn't have possibly been happier about it.

I don't enjoy the kid being miserable at all, but knowing we've practically made it to the eve of second grade with her still thinking it's WAY too mean to call someone "dumb" is some good stuff.

Never change, kid. Never change.

The Daisy Photo, Volume 8

Sometimes I have good ideas. Way back in 2006, I definitely had one of them. I grabbed a then six-month old Alexis and a huge handful of daisies from our yard. We set out for the mall and had some photos taken.

We've done the same thing every year since. Alexis + daisies + white sundress. (There was a white sundress the first year. It's just not in the photo.)

2006

20072008200920102011

2012

The only thing that has really changed over time is that I stopped paying someone else to take the photos. I was perfectly happy with the results before the switch, but the process was often painful.

There was no pain this year. Absolutely none.

Next year is going to be hell, isn't it?

Vegetarian Lettuce Wraps

I've been a gardener for a very long time, but this is the first year I've been somewhat serious about growing food. Flowers are fun and all, but there's nothing better than being able to tell a kid who is complaining that she's hungry to "Go outside and find a snack."

I've been doing THAT for a while, but only with tomatoes, strawberries, and blueberries. This year I decided we need to add peas, zucchini, sweet potatoes, eggplant, peppers, cucumbers, pumpkins, cantaloupe, and watermelon to the snack bar in the yard.

Some of it is going ... not well. For the first time ever, I'm not sure that we'll get any tomatoes, for example. But then there is the lettuce. HOOBOY.

Anybody need some green leaf lettuce? Because I have ALL OF IT. I didn't think to space out my planting time, so I have three packages of seeds that are now full-grown plants begging to be harvested. SO. MUCH. LETTUCE.

There are only so many times you can feed your family salad before they start looking at you funny, so now I've branched on to Vegetarian Lettuce Wraps.

Which, GENIUS. I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner.

Whether rolled up neatly or just hanging out, they are fantastic. I really wish I had thought to start making them years ago.

They're super easy and SO good, plus I like that I can make the troops assemble their own dinner. That's always a bonus.

Vegetarian Lettuce Wraps

1 tablespoon peanut oil
1 package firm tofu, drained well (Meatetarians can absolutely sub in ground beef here)
1 cup corn (frozen or fresh, I'm not about to judge you)
1/2 cup carrots cut into "matchsticks"
1/2 cup shelled edamame
1/3 cup soy sauce
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
1 teaspoon red chile paste
Lettuce for wrapping all of the other fun stuff up in that list

1. Throw the oil in a large, non-stick skillet and turn the heat on medium. Toss in the block of tofu and shred it with a fork.

2. Keep shredding the tofu as it browns. It's going to take a few minutes for it to cook thoroughly.

3. Once the tofu is a nice golden/light brown color, toss in the corn, carrots, and edamame. Stir things up.

4. In a small bowl, combine the soy sauce, balsamic vinegar, and chile paste. Stir well with a fork.

5. Once the carrots are as soft as you want them (I left them a bit crunchy), toss the sauce in with the veggies and tofu. Stir everything up.

6. Scoop a tablespoon or so of the fun stuff onto a piece of lettuce and wrap it all up like a burrito.

7. Glare at your kid every time she reaches into the bowl of tofu and veggies and grabs a piece of tofu. THAT'S NOT HOW IT'S DONE, ALEXIS.

8. Enjoy!