The Dominoes Have Been Defeated

If this were one of those fancy home improvement blogs, the kitchen would have been done three blog posts after it was started. This isn't one of those blogs, though. That means the kitchen STILL IS NOT DONE.

It's only been two weeks. Plus something like two months. WHATEVER.

I'm declaring it close enough to done for the purposes of whatever kind of blog this is. TAAAA-DAAAAAH!

Oh, hey. It started out like this.

When we bought the house, there was yellow paint by the ceiling, green paint that was the EXACT color of baby diarrhea on the backsplash, and some crazy ugly counters. We are not going to discuss the how very horrible all of that paint was, by the way. I'm still traumatized from trying to make the lines and mess go away. Oh, and did you notice that there weren't any faucets in the kitchen originally? That part was fun, in the exact way that doing taxes while at the dentist getting a root canal would be fun.

First we made the hideous light fixtures go away, and then the counter. Somewhere in there a dishwasher was replaced, a new faucet was begrudgingly purchased (it was the third faucet purchased for that kitchen, therefore it was annoying), and I kicked the extra sink to the curb. And then! And then! And then I decided I had to tile the backsplash or I just wouldn't be able to go on with life!

The tile is from Home Depot. It was $5 per square foot, which means that the entire backsplash was tiled for around $100. That includes the tile adhesive and grout.

For what it's worth, it's WAY easier to tile using those little tiny squares than you would think. They come stuck on a mesh thingy and you can cut the size/shape you need with scissors.

So cutting around outlets is super easy. Finding outlet covers you like and that fit isn't, but that's a whole other issue. It took me about six hours total to install every inch of that tile. It was spread out over two weeks because I only worked on it about an hour at a time.

I still need to finish caulking the exposed edges and figure out what to do about the outlet covers, but that means the tiling is 99.9% done. Once that is finished, I will paint the ledge above the window black, sew the Roman shade that I meant to sew three years ago (WHOOPS), and probably rip down that piece of trim above the window.

What's that? That sound you heard? Oh, nothing. It was just the husband cursing loudly and developing a sudden emotional attachment to that piece of trim. I'm going to take it down anyway. I think. Maybe.

For the record, not having a sink stuck in the corner of that island is pretty much the greatest thing since the invention of the under mount sink. The under mount sink is my most favorite thing about the whole kitchen, in case you were wondering.

I think that means I'm a grown-up. BLURGH.

We will just be shushing about how much joy those stupid light bulbs bring me. That will further prove that I am an adult. Or a dork. Or both.

(If you're considering going crazy with tile yourself, may I suggest this video? I thought it had some pretty good tips.)

No Bake Clementine Cheesecake

I want cheesecake.

I've been saying that for about two weeks now. It's A Thing. It's A Thing that requires I commit to being home for a few hours because I want SERIOUS cheesecake -- the kind that takes time to bake and that needs to sit for a while before you eat it. I have some fantastic recipes for pumpkin, Snickers, vanilla, fruit-flavored, and pretty much every kind of cheesecake under the sun. I haven't used any of those recipes in years because cheesecake. Commitment. Home.

So what happens when I want cheesecake but am not ready to commit to being home for a while is that I end up making no bake cheesecake. It's an OK substitute, even if it doesn't quite fill the bill. The most recent version is a Clementine Cheesecake, which is all because I am in the middle of a love affair with clementines.

You can call them Cuties if you want. I refuse. "Clementine" is a plenty fun word for me.

Anyway, this is my standard no bake cheesecake with clementines substituted for the lime I frequently make. Neither is better than the other. They're both good, just in different ways.

The clementines are a little more subtle than the limes, so rather than making the citrus flavor pop with extra zest, I drizzled a little Clementine Curd on top. It was a most excellent decision.

Clementine Cheesecake
1 graham cracker pie crust
1 package cream cheese (I used reduced fat cream cheese)
3/4 cup sugar
Juice from 2 clementines
Zest from 2 clementines
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups heavy cream

1. Make the crust or cheat and use a premade one. I won't judge either way.

2. In a medium mixing bowl, combine the cream cheese, sugar, clementine juice, vanilla, and clementine zest with a mixer on low speed until smooth (about two minutes).

3. In a separate large bowl, beat the heavy cream with a mixer at high speed until peaks begin to form.

4. Add the cream cheese mixture to the whip cream little by little, gently stirring to combine the two.

5. Spoon the clementine cheesecake filling into your pie crust.

6. Refrigerate for 10-15 minutes before eating.

7. Top with Clementine Curd, if desired.

Clementine Curd
Zest from 3 clementines
3/4 cups sugar
1/4 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
3 eggs
1/4 cup lemon juice (the 3 clementines should get you close enough)
Dash salt

1. Place the zest in a food processor with the sugar. Pulse until the zest is finely minced.

2. Cream the butter in a medium mixing bowl.

3. Slowly add the sugar/clementine zest to the butter and mix well.

4. Add the eggs, one at a time, while continuing to mix.

5. Gradually add the clementine juice and salt.

6. Pour everything into a medium saucepan and heat over low heat, stirring constantly. The Clementine Curd will thicken when it reaches about 170 degrees. It takes about ten minutes for me to get it to thicken. If you see any signs of the Clementine Curd starting to boil, remove it from the heat immediately. It's done!

7. Place the Clementine Curd in the refrigerator to cool before drizzling over the cheesecake. BTW, you won't need it all for the cheesecake, so you should probably buy some ice cream. It's REALLY good poured over vanilla in particular.

Optimism