Sometimes I'm Sleepy and Dopey Too

It's all fun and games until you get called out by your 7-year old.

(OMG. SEVEN. YEAR. OLD.)

"Momma, I keep texting you and you never answer!" she fussed.

I could have told her to get in line because there are plenty of people who I owe a text or email to at this point. I'm like two months behind or something like that, but whatever. I hadn't replied to Alexis because I hadn't gotten the texts because ... OH YEAH! I turned off the wifi on the old iPhone when we were in Indiana last month and never turned it back on.

WHOOPS.

I conveniently ignored the part where I was busted for not fixing something that I purposely broke. I walked over, flipped on the wifi for what Alexis refers to as her "phone" (it's really more of a broken-down iPod Touch at this point), and watched as my phone blew up with new text messages.

And I do mean BLEW UP. Over 100 messages found their way from one device to the other. Rather than reading through them right then and there, I continued on with cleaning the kitchen.

Not much later, I noticed that I had a new email. I'm trying really very hard to not fall further behind, so I rushed to answer it. Except, it was from me. To me. I wrote myself an email. It said, "I think you are a great mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I was certain I would remember if I had written an email containing my entire year's allotment of exclamation points. Something was up.

OMG ALEXIS ACCESSED MY  EMAIL USING MY OLD PHONE.

A few minutes later, I had assessed the damage. She had emailed me and a few other people, but fortunately she hadn't done anything like sending a "Good riddance, moron" email to her kindergarten teacher. I quickly deleted the email account, double-checked the apps and accounts that were installed, and opened up the texting app she uses to send me messages.

 

1. We really need to talk about abusing exclamation points.

2. I wish I had been reading the messages all along! So fun! She's such a sweet kid! I *am* fun on vacations!

NEVER MIND.

Feeling Like An Unwanted Can Of Creamed Corn

It started with an innocent question. Months ago, Alexis batted her eyes and sweetly asked, "Can you make my birthday cake this year, Mindy?"

And with that, my dreams were shattered. WOE IS ME.

My friend Mindy, of course, agreed to do the short person's bidding because how do you say no to this face?

YOU DON'T.

But with that simple question, I was fired. Dismissed. Shoved to the back corner of the cabinet like a can of creamed corn.

Each and every year of Alexis' life I have sought to overachieve in the cake and cupcake department for her birthday. I go to ridiculous lengths to make a fantastic cake that far exceeds my abilities and a bunch of cupcakes that are LIKE WOAH. Here. Memory Lane. Feel free to walk along it.

But not this year. Because I was fired.

I pouted about the whole thing to Alexis a few weeks ago because I am, obviously, a mature adult who would never consider guilt tripping her own kid. Ahem.

"Alexis, I'm really sad I don't get to make your birthday cake this year," I told her a few days ago.

"Don't worry, momma. Mindy will do a better job than you anyway," she replied. LIKE A KNIFE TO THE HEART.

I know she was right, but still. STILL. Couldn't she have lied and said she didn't want to see me stress over it or something?

WHATEVER. I decided to embrace my newfound reduction in responsibilities. I poured my heart and soul into making food for the birthday party and began dreaming of the cupcakes I would make for Alexis to take to school.

And then she told me.

"Momma, I don't to take birthday treats to school," she told me.

"WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEEEEEAN?" I replied.

"I don't want everyone to sing to me so I'm not going to take treats," she replied with a sad little look on her face.

So. No complicated cupcake plotting for me.

Unless one of you has a request. In that case, GAME ON.

A Very Monster High Birthday Party -- The Moment

There was a moment in the midst of the very Monster High birthday party when time stopped. It was before the cake but after the chaos, between the laughter and amongst the smiles. It was the moment when time stopped and I looked at Alexis and saw everything that Seven will be.

Seven is confident and happy, poised and silly, and ... man ... Seven really knows who she is and she likes herself. She radiates joy when she smiles and she has no problem defending her right to be happy.

It was just a moment, but it was a moment when I could see what is to come.

I didn't take a photo of The Moment, but that's mostly because you can't photograph the future. A photograph wouldn't have accurately portrayed the moment anyway, so really there is no harm done.

I know it wouldn't have accurately captured the moment because after the party, I asked Alexis a lot of questions. She told me that her favorite part of the party was that her friends were able to be there, but getting to have her hair and nails done was a close second. (I guess that means the money spent to have two beauty school students come to our house to do everyone's hair and nails was worth it.) She told me that she didn't like the cupcakes, but she LOVED the purple punch. Alexis told me she was sad that the party had to end, but that she was glad she picked Monster High for the theme. Most importantly, she told me that her least favorite part was when everyone gathered in the dining room and sang Happy Birthday to her.

In that moment, she was "embarrassed and felt warm and yucky inside." She clearly articulated that she didn't like being the center of attention. It would have been "more fun singing on stage or something."

I get it, kid. Although, your acting skills are better than mine.

If she was uncomfortable while her friends sang, it didn't show. Not at all.

If there is anything about Seven that makes her nervous, she doesn't show it. Not all all. Instead, Seven is all confidence.

Damn, confidence looks good on her.