She's Pretty. Curls and All.

I asked Alexis a question just over a year ago that I felt was worth revisiting. I can't find the video from last year, but basically I asked Alexis if she thinks she's pretty.

Last year she answered, "Yes." Enthusiastically.

I imagined that some day the enthusiasm would fall away from her answer.

I didn't imagine that this year would already be different. She still said, "Yes," but not until AFTER she said that her curly hair isn't pretty. She has said that she wants straight hair for a long time, and I guess that's not going away anytime soon.

I have no clue how to get her to understand that she has amazing curls that half the world would love to have.

(The video starts with me asking her what she likes to do. She replied, "Sing and dance," so I asked what kind of dance is her favorite. Jazz dance. I didn't really need to ask to know that, for what it's worth. Jazz has been her favorite for a while now.

After that I asked if she thinks she's pretty. She went on a little rant about her hair. She likes the color, just not the curls.

At least she realizes she has a perfect smile. Because she does.)

Cold Huffer

The best thing about Alexis going to school is that I am now free to consume gum without her judgey eyes glaring at me from the back seat of the car as she whines, "Can I have a piece?"

No, child, you may not have a piece of gum. You will chew it louder than a cow chews its cud and then you will hand me a slimy, sticky wad of chewed up gum three minutes later when you decide it has lost its taste. The answer is NO. ALWAYS NO. NO GUM FOR YOU.

Needless to say, lately I've been consuming WAY more gum than ever before. Tomorrow I'm going to see if I can shove ten pieces in my face at one time just because there won't be a short person around to ask if she can try it, too.

NO, CHILD. NO GUM FOR YOU.

Over the weekend I had a moment of pure dumb. I forgot that there was a judgey short person in the back seat who demands inclusion. I pulled a pack of gum out of my purse, popped a piece in my mouth, and was about to gleefully chomp on it when I heard that annoying little voice in the back of my head. Or behind my head. Whatever. It was Alexis and she wanted a piece.

ARGH.

I briefly felt like a jerk for even thinking about telling her no while I was chewing gum right there. In her line of vision. I felt like a jerk just long enough to glance inside my purse and remember something.

I had gross gum in there. Not fruity or sweet or refreshing gum ... I had GROSS gum. I had some of that gum that is so minty that it actually burns your face. It's pungent and wicked and ... gross. GROSS.

It's the kind of gum you want to have around right after you've had garlic with a side of spaghetti for dinner. It can chase away the worst of dragon breath as it cold freezes your tongue and renders you unable to taste anything for days.

I totally handed a piece to Alexis.

I figured that the worst that would happen was that she would be all "GROSS!" and hand me a half-chewed slime ball. The best that would happen was that she would she would swear off gum forever as she handed me a half-chewed slime ball.

I couldn't lose.

I watched in the rear view mirror as the kid popped the gum in her mouth. Her eyes opened wide in shock as the concentration of mint exploded and froze her tastebuds. I waited for tears or a complaint or some sort of sign that she was aware that I was intentionally torturing her.

Nothing.

No reaction.

NOTHING.

She chewed it for a few minutes and then started doing that huffy inhaling thing you do when you are amused at how cold the air going into your mouth is. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, just pretend you do. I'd rather not be left thinking I'm the only person who has stood outside in sub-zero weather and inhaled sharply just so I could see if it was possible to freeze siliva while it was still in my mouth.

(It is.)

We drove down the road with the kid sitting in the back seat huffing cold air for miles and miles and miles.

I still wound up with a slimy wad of gum shoved into my hand, but at least it was fully chewed.

We Won't Back Down

"Well, probably the most serious violation was when she told another child, 'Please stop being a pest and leave me alone.'" The words were delivered with the heavy tones of someone who was horrified to have to be the one to tell us about such a terrible offense.

I blinked. That's all I could do as I processed the statement. I blinked. ::blink::blink::blink::blink::

"So, another child was ... ? What exactly was going on?" I finally asked.

"There was a little boy who was following Alexis around during recess. I don't really know why she felt the need to call him a name." Judgment dripped from the teacher's voice.

"Oh," I replied. ::blink::blink::blink::blink::

There are three sides to every story, so later I asked Alexis what had happened. Her version was nearly identical to the story told by her kindergarten teacher, but with one important addition - the little boy was following her around and telling her she looked better without glasses.

::blink::blink::blink::blink::

Initially I was going to let the situation be, but through a conversation regarding another issue, I realized something. The teacher has a very different opinion on the role of women in this world. She feels that women can be leaders ... in the classroom and home.

That's when I decided to go to bat for my kid. The teacher could say what she wanted, but Alexis had handled the situation as well as any 6-year old possibly could. If she is being harassed? She ABSOLUTELY has my permission to stand up for herself. I was crazy proud that Alexis had decided she wasn't going to back down. That's exactly what I want her to do.

Alexis and I eventually discussed how she could have handled the situation better. She shouldn't have called the little boy a name, but otherwise? She did all right. I want her to know that she has to take care of herself. She has to do what is right and if that means fighting the system? I've got her back.

I've fought the system many times myself (sometimes with your help!) because the best

way to teach Alexis that she can't back down is to make sure I don't. Now that I've watched the trailer for Fox's Won't Back Down, I'm inspired to do even more. I know that a group of people can join together to change the world, and now I'm looking forward to this year's Christmas Crazy being bigger and better than ever.

Won't Back Down is coming to theaters September 28th. It stars Maggie Gyllenhaal and Viola Davis, who play two mothers who refuse to accept that their kids' school is failing. They set out to change the school, battling bureaucracy along the way. You can learn more about it at the official Facebook page. It's a feel-good movie with a fantastic message and a heavy dose of motivation. You can also buy group tickets.

What motivates you to make a change in your community? Answer below for a chance to win one of two $40 Fandango gift cards. If I were answering, I'd say that seeing Alexis' face when she gets a new toy motivates me. Every kid should get that feeling and every parent should have the opportunity to see it happen.

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