Alexis and the Not Bummer Summer

I've never felt anything beyond fleeting guilt about Alexis being a full-time daycare baby. OMG I AM A TERRIBLE PARENT THAT POOR CHILD IS CLEARLY NOT LOVED WAAAAAH.

Sorry. It's true. I think the kid has generally been better off spending a few hours a day with someone who was getting paid to 100% pay attention to her as she socialized with other kids her age. If things hadn't played out that way, I can pretty much guarantee she'd still be spending her days hiding in the corner reading books and not talking to anyone.

Hrm. Silence. That might have an upside ...

ANYWAY.

I love hanging out with the kid, but she most definitely needs time around others who see the world differently than I do. And she knows it.

Every day since school let out I have heard the words, "Can I please go to summer camp?"

Sure, kid. We'll go ahead and spend $1000 per month for you to go hang out at summer camp while I don't have a job. SURE WE WILL. I guess we can just leave that pesky mortgage unpaid. I'm sure no one will mind!

Needless to say, we could be in the midst of the most miserable summer of Alexis' short life. She's stuck hanging out with me all day, every day. Oh, the sadness!

Instead of letting her sit around and whine about how she isn't at summer camp (which is really nothing more than daycare for school-aged kids, but don't tell her that because she'll end up there again eventually), I asked Alexis to make a list of the things she wants to do this summer. I told her to dream big because I want to make the most of this rare time we have together. We're going to party hard this summer, dammit, and she might as well enjoy it!

Her idea of "partying hard?" This.

In case you can't read Alexis-write, she wants to play hide-n-seek with me (Do I have to actually look for her? AHEM.), read books, go shopping, SLEEP IN, go to the park, play music, go outside, and go to 77 Kids.

BACK THAT TRUCK UP.

She wants to sleep in. SLEEP IN.

Alexis wants to sleep in.

So why the hell has she been up by 7:00 am every single day so far this summer?

It's a good thing she's so stinkin' adorable.

If It Is Blogged, The Promise Must Be Kept

If there is anywhere on this planet where teens can go to let their stupid hang out, it's Kennywood. Between the girls in high heels and tiny tops teetering around in droves and the boys falling over from the stupid that is hormones as they stare at the high heels and tiny tops, it's a giant mess of kids acting The Fool.

I've known this for years.

Alexis just figured it out this summer.

As we stood in line for a roller coaster recently, she stood open-mouthed and gaping at a gaggle of giggling girls. One had "Juicy" plastered across her barely long enough to cover her cheeks shorts. Another was wearing a top that was so low-cut she couldn't bend over without her belly button bopping her in the chin. Another was flipping the extensions in her hair around so often I thought she might take flight like a helicopter. All three of them were loud and obnoxious and generally acting like hormones had taken over their brains.

"Momma, why are they acting like that?" Alexis asked, her obvious confusion dripping from her voice.

"I don't know," I replied. Is there really an explanation that would make sense to a 6-year old? I think not.

A little later we stood in line for the pirate ship, which happens to be a ride that Alexis considers to be for little kids. She still thinks it's fun, but it's "kinda boring," in her approximation.

It's far from boring when there are twenty or so teenagers on it, though.

The flirting that was being thrown around from row-to-row of that ride included classics like the "Screaming Girl Who Needs Comforted" to the "Tough Guy Who Doesn't Flinch" to "Let's All Giggle Like Everything He Says Is The Funniest Thing Ever."

Alexis was ... confounded. I think that's the best word. She didn't understand, she was confused, and she was mortified.

"Momma," she whispered as soon as we got off of the ride. "Are all teenagers stupid?"

In our house "stupid" is considered a word we aren't supposed to use, but really, is there a better word to describe teens at Kennywood? I let the minor infraction pass.

"Yeah," I answered. "They pretty much are."

Alexis pondered the news for a few moments, her face scrunched up deep in concentration.

"Momma," she finally said, "I'm not going to be stupid when I'm a teenager. I promise."

IT'S IN WRITING, KID. YOU BETTER MAKE GOOD ON THAT PROMISE.

Individual Deep Dish Fruit Pizzas

As I stood in the kitchen preparing to make Fruit Pizza, I glanced out the window. A herd of kids had gathered around the little pool. I thought it would be nice to share the Fruit Pizza with them, but then remembered that this kid doesn't like strawberries and that one doesn't like blueberries and FORGET IT. THEY CAN DECORATE THEIR OWN FRUIT PIZZAS.

The best ideas in life are born when trying to avoid kid drama, right? Right.

I decided it was time to make some indivicual Deep Dish Fruit Pizzas. I started by cheating.

I have some great sugar cookie recipes, but MAN. That stuff is so easy to use. It took less than two minutes for me to break it into 24 little pieces which I rolled up into balls and placed in a well-greased mini muffin pan.

I baked those little balls at 350 degrees for seventeen minutes and BAM!

I had 24 little sugar cookie cups on my hands. As they baked, it looked like the sugar cookies were going to be too poofy and big to hold any sort of toppings, but they fell the second they came out of the oven. I expected and was hoping for as much as I wanted little sugar cookie cups. I got them!

While the sugar cookies were baking, I threw together a simple cream cheese filling. It's just 2 boxes of cream cheese, 2/3 cup white sugar, and 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract.

Once the cookies were cool, I twisted them around and easily lifted them out of the pan. Then I filled them with a heaping teaspoon of cream cheese filling. Once I had some fruit cleaned and cut up, it was time to let the kids have a little fun with their food.

This kid chose to pile a ton of fruit on her little fruit pizza.

And then she ate all of the fruit off of the top before pausing to redecorate it.

She says the fruit is the best part of the Fruit Pizza. I disagree, but she's entitled to her own opinion, I guess.

I'm especially OK with her being wrong since it means I get her cream cheese filling about 50% of the time. HUZZAH.

The husband skipped the formalities and ate the little Fruit Pizzas without the fruit. It's all about the cream cheese, people.

Individual Deep Dish Fruit Pizzas

1 package Pillsbury Sugar Cookie Dough (the kind that comes in a roll)
2 boxes cream cheese, room temperature
2/3 cup white sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups fruit (sliced kiwi, sliced strawberries, blueberries, diced peaches, raspberries, sliced bananas, etc.)

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Cut the Sugar Cookie Dough into 24 1/4" thick pieces. Roll each slice into a little ball and place in a well-greased mini muffin pan.

3. Bake the sugar cookie cups at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes. They are done when the edges start to lightly brown.

4. In a large mixing bowl, combine the cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla extract with a mixer. Mix at low speed for about 2 minutes, or until it is well-combined and creamy.

5. Once the sugar cookie cups have cooled, carefully turn them in place until they come loose. They should pop right out of the pan.

6. Fill each sugar cookie cup with a heaping teaspoonful of cream cheese filling.

7. Place the prepared fruit in little bowls and set the whole shebang out for everyone to customize their very own Individual Deep Dish Fruit Pizza.

8. Eat six all by yourself. I won't tell.