Sometimes Wisdom Comes Without Experience

For someone who suddenly has a lot of time of time on her hands, I seem to have an awful lot of things to do. Very high on that list is to take care of the approximately 8,253,013 things that should have been taken care of months ago. From housekeeping to filing to listing things on ebay/Craigslist, I have a whole bunch of catching up that will be happening in the weeks ahead. SILVER LINING. I'M LOOKING FOR YOU.

I should probably be embarrassed by the fact that on that list of things that were way past due was a giant box of spring bulbs that probably would be better off if they were, you know, in the ground instead of in a box. But, it wasn't entirely my fault that October came and went without them getting planted. Because of a major shipping snafu, they have only been here for two weeks. Only. Heh.

So, as I waited for Alexis' school bus to pull up to our driveway, I started digging.

The garden is ugly this time of year, with everything either dying or dead. Brown leaves and dry stalks are the norm, although this year everything is a bit off. A few of the rose bushes are blooming as the mild temperatures have fooled them into thinking that they should still be around. They aren't completely fooled, however, as they are scraggly and rough in appearance. There are signs of spring bulbs already breaking through the ground, a fact which is mighty depressing. Cold weather will happen eventually, and it's going to shock those early sprouts. They aren't going to be happy at all.

As I finished digging a trench for 50 new Thalia daffodils, Alexis' bus pulled up. She bounced off the bus, a vision of energy and hope and enthusiasm. "Momma, are you planting flowers?" she asked. "Can I help?" she begged.

Of course, my dear. Of course.

She ran into the house to change clothes and then returned with her own little pink gardening gloves in hand. She wore a grin in her face and had an urge to please me in her heart. We had a very rough weekend that ended with me yelling at her, something which I rarely do. She was mouthy and rude and sassy and generally acting like a jerk and I finally lost patience and went coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs on her. I would worry that I had hurt her feelings when I yelled, "You. Stop talking and go to time out until I tell you that you can leave," but OMG THE MOUTH ON THAT CHILD.

Since then, she's been an absolute pleasure to be around. Really.

So she set out to help me plant the bulbs, all the while chattering. "Momma, the bulbs are really ugly now, but in spring they're going to be SOOOO beautiful!" and "I can't wait to see how pretty the garden looks!"

And then she said it. The thing that made me stop and look at her and silently thank her for being my little ray of sunshine in a moment of darkness.

"It's a lot of work now to take care of all of these ugly little things, but it will all be worth it in a few months."

Yes. Things are ugly now. But, with some work, by spring they'll be beautiful again.

Thanks for reminding me to focus on that, Alexis.

Caramel Apple Pie

It seems that Pinterest has been exploding with pins about making caramel in a crock pot using sweetened condensed milk, to which I say, really? Y'all didn't know you could do that?

Oh.

Sorry. I would have told you if I had realized it was a secret.

I've known for a while and even know of a few recipes that call for ye old sweetened condensed milk in a crock pot trick. This one, for Caramel Apple Pie, came to me via my mother-in-law, who has been making it for years.

It's ridiculously easy, especially because there are only a couple of ingredients.

You start with a can of sweetened condensed milk. Peel the label off of the can, and then submerge it completely under water in a crock pot. Turn that crock pot on low and wait eight hours. Once it has cooled a bit, if you open the can, you'll find a caramel that is reminiscent of dulce de leche.

I swear to you that it works. I've seen other instructions online for cooking it at high for less time or even on a stove top, but I prefer the 8-hour method since that is pretty much "overnight." I like having stuff ready for me when I wake up.

Next you'll need a graham cracker crust, which you could buy pre-made, or you could throw some crushed graham crackers, melted butter, and sugar into a pie pan. Both ways work just fine.

Then grab some apples.

Core the apples and then slice them really thinly. Place them in your graham cracker crust.

There's no need for neatness. I'm just a bit of a freak about stuff like that. Oh, and if I had remembered, I would have poured a little bit of the caramel in after each layer of apples, but oh well.

I managed to get my caramel on there just fine. Just all at once. Heh.

Once the caramel is on there, top it with some crushed nuts.

Look at me avoiding the obvious nutty jokes!

That's it. That's how you make a Caramel Apple Pie. I mean, you need to put it in the fridge for a bit to let the caramel solidify a bit, but still. That's it.

Could it get any easier? I think not.

Caramel Apple Pie

1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 graham cracker pie crust
3 small apples (I like Granny Smith), sliced thinly
1/2 cup chopped mixed nuts (I used the ones that are in the ice cream topping aisle)

1. Remove the label from the sweetened condensed milk. Submerge it in water in a crock pot, put the lid on the crock pot, and allow it to cook on low for eight hours.

2. Allow the cooked sweetened condensed milk to cool a bit. Remember physics class? You know how we all learned that things expand when they're hot? Yeah. That includes sweetened condenses milk. Don't get impatient with opening that can. I like to wait an hour.

3. Core and slice three small apples.

4. Layer the apple slices in your graham cracker crust.

5. Pour the caramel over top and smooth it with a spatula, working the caramel into the lower layers. (You can also alternate adding apple slices and caramel as you build the pie. Really, either way works fine.)

6. Sprinkle nut topping over the top.

7. Refrigerate at least 30 minutes.

The crisp apples, sweet caramel, and salty nuts all come together perfectly in this pie. Trust me. It's good.

Snowball Fight