Where's Dora

Obviously, Dora long ago took over several aisles in Toys 'R Us. It's probably not so much that she's popular as it is that none of the other toys want to be near this freaky thing:

This has got to be the largest Dora in existence. She obviously has developed sort of condition that causes her head to look like it belongs on Barry Bonds' body.


Someone is Counting His Lucky Stars Right Now

Every night Alexis ends her day by sitting with me up in her room reading stories. Sometimes she reads, sometimes I read, sometimes we end up playing and no one reads, we just go with it. Just a few minutes ago, we were sitting in her chair together having just finishing a book. She looked up at me, grinned, and said:


Plain as day. She said a word that has never fallen out of my mouth (oh my, that's a funny, funny joke). I looked at her, she looked at me.


At that point, I muttered, "I am going to kill your father." I don't think he would bother to deny that he has been known to let loose some words that may not be appropriate for the Dora crowd.


On the third repeat, I began preparing my weapons. I started up the Nagometer, grabbed a few heavy objects, and set my laser-beam eyes to kill. Just as I was about to summons the soon to be Dead Daddy, Little Miss Cuss tugged at her shirt. Hmmm. A familiar bit of symbolism. I thought for a moment, then said, "Shirt?"

"Yes! Sh@t!"

Sign Language just saved Daddy's life.


A Birthday Wish

I remember some of the most random things. For example, I know the PLU for bananas is 4015. I worked in a grocery store in high school. I know that if you were to walk into a Citizens Bank about a kazillion years ago and ask for your savings account balance, the teller would have typed IMI2. I still remember my phone number from when I was in kindergarten. But I cannot, for the life of me, remember names or birthdays. It's not in my genes. So I have made Daddy responsible for reminding me when there is a birthday in his family. Well, he's getting up there in the years, so sometimes he isn't as on the ball as he could be. Anyway, we didn't entirely forget, we just remembered a little later than we probably should have. So happy birthday, Mammaw! (And if there is anyone whose birthday was forgotten, the blame should land squarely on Daddy. I can only be held responsible for birthdays on my side of the family.)