2018 total: $10011.76


Run In Peace

You would think that a full day of just me and the Crazy One-Year Old would wield some funny story or lifelong lesson. But really, it didn't. She was about as boring as boring can be (Except at lunch when I had the audacity to give her yogurt after she asked for -you guessed it- yogurt. Never let a one-year old tell you what they want. They lie like dogs and will try very hard to trick you with their backwards logic.).

Since Alexis let me down today, I shall revert to Saturday for some good times. We had some friends over and, oh, how Alexis clung to "Aunt" Estee. She clung like the odor of dirty gym socks in a locker room. We're talking about Category 5 stalking here, people. Estee could not walk in or out of a room without her shadow toddling behind her.

The one, and only one, exception came about whilst I was putting together part of the cemetery in the front yard. If you are assembling a cemetery, then you can be sure that your one-year old will suddenly find your every move to be utterly and completely fascinating. She followed me around, installing fence, placing tombstones, and running electrical cords. I would say she was a great help, but then I would by lying like a dog.

Once the cemetery was essentially complete, Alexis took to running laps around and through all the tombstones, generally yucking herself up with her fantastic running skills. Did you ever see the Friends episode where Phoebe runs? That's what she looked like, except perhaps a little bit crazier. And I was left to wonder, is it creepy that my one-year old gets her kicks out of running around in a cemetery?


Anybody Else Want to Contribute to Ruining My Day?

I have a policy that I will not mix work things with Alexis things. I find that it is good practice to have to leave the job at the job, so I try to do just that. Plus, talking about your job on a blog is not the brightest idea. Try as I might, I cannot convince myself that it would be a good time to abandon that theory, so I'll just say this, I am now a stay-at-home Mom. And it wasn't pretty. In the past few hours, I have found that my former co-workers and customers are some of the most incredible people ever. Their reactions have been humbling, touching, and at times, very amusing. So thank you to each and every one of you, and you all know how it really was. I appreciate that more than you can possibly know.

(Oh, and for the rest of you, there is TOTALLY a major story there. You might be able to pry it out of my via email.)

To make matters even more fun for me, Alexis has spent her day in a foul mood. This after discovering that I meant business when I told her she was on her own after the first time she woke up last night. It was nice of her to sleep through 3:30 for a change, but I would have really preferred to not be awake at 11:00 and again at 2:00. A half hour worth of crying fits tends to wear one out, so she was wiped out all day long. And now, she's in bed, per her request. She decided she was done being grumpy and should just go to bed 30 minutes early. I would say good for her, but I think that means I will not be sleeping in tomorrow morning. Darn it.

Oh well, I'm going to go wallow in self-pity and maybe go to bed early myself. Oh, and kick myself for not aggressively pursuing some opportunities that were in front of me a few weeks ago. I can be such an idiot sometimes. *kick* *kick*


Hi, My Name is Hypocrite

So that whole sleep thing is really not going the way I would like. Over the weekend, Alexis slept through the night. I didn't say a word because, like, I'm not that stupid and I didn't want to jinx the situation. Then came Sunday night and guess what? My human tape recorder/alarm clock went off at precisely 3:30 am. Yay! And last night? Woohoo! I must have set the human tape recorder/alarm clock again cause there I was, in Alexis' room at 3:30.

She wasn't content with just a "Good night" this time, so we had quite the conversation. It went something like this:

Me: Go to sleep.
Me: Alexis, go to sleep.
Me: Alexis, there is nothing for you to do at 3:30 in the morning. Go to sleep.
Me: OK, seriously, you have no need to be awake at this hour until you get to college. Save it for then. You'll thank me.

Yeah, so she's not the best listener in the middle of the night. After about ten minutes of arguing, she finally realized I really wasn't going to pick her up and flopped over to go to sleep. But then I was wide awake, so I laid in bed thinking about all the times in my life that I have been awake at 3:30 in the morning. And determined that she absolutely, positively will not be repeating some of my actions. Unless she wants me to lock her in the basement. Because I will.

I haven't been awake at 3:30 (intentionally) forever, but I used to be every single night. When I was in high school. Seriously, every night. My parents had this ridiculous curfew thing and claimed I had to be in the house at 9:00 every night. Always one to avoid conflict, I was in the house every night at 9:00. As I passed from the front door, down the hall, into my room, and out the window. I could be found out with my friends again by 9:10, guaranteed. I usually returned home around 4:00, just in time for an hour or two of sleep before I went to school. I never once got caught, which I still kind of think is funny. Until I remember that Alexis is bound to try that same crap in about 15 years. At which point my head spontaneously combusts.

Call me a hypocrite, but if I ever catch Alexis out at 3:30 in the morning, it ain't gonna' be pretty.

Note to Alexis: Could we pretty please, with whip cream and blueberries on top, start practicing being asleep at 3:30? I will pay you in the form of baby dolls, Dora toys, Elmo, and Signing Time.