Mommybloggers Are the Worst Parents, Right?

I got one of those comments today . . . one of those comments that essentially boils down to, "Get off your computer and be a mom." Thanks to the magic of Woopra, it was easy to figure out that the person who left the comment had never visited this site before, was here for a few seconds, and didn't come back. In other words, it was Copy and Paste Troll, likely working his or her way around the internet spreading good tidings of cheer and stupidity.

Easily dismissed. VERY easily dismissed.

Except, you know, the message behind the comment is out there. There are people who hold the theory that if you are blogging about your kid, you aren't taking care of your kid. Maybe there are people who genuinely have addiction issues and get lost in the world of social media. Maybe there are people who need to put down the iPhone and try talking to the people in front of them. Maybe there are people who take it all too far. Maybe.

But.

But, I can easily dismiss that sort of theorizing for one simple reason: blogging makes me a better parent.

It's true.

I could go on and on about how this little website has helped me to do my most important job better, but really it boils down to one word: awareness.

Thanks to the community, I'm more aware of what of what works and what doesn't. She taught me to accept my kid for who she is. She taught me to jump into those silly moments and take photos so I can relive the moments later. She taught me that open communication doesn't have to stop when kids hit the teen years. She taught me that it's OK to be the bad guy from time-to-time. So many people have taught me so many things . . . it's absolutely amazing.

More important, however, is what I've learned from myself. I want to be the parent that I "play" on this site. I want to make the best decisions possible. I want to give Alexis every opportunity I can. I want to the best parent I can be. I don't like it when the stand-out moment from a day is full of parenting fail. Rather than wallowing in those failures (and there are plenty of them), I try to really learn from them, think about them, and find a way that I could have handled the situation and walked away proud of myself.  Proud enough to write about it here.

I can honestly say that this site is an accurate reflection of who I am. I'm proud of that fact. Blogging has forced me to really evaluate myself every single day.

I'm often asked why I post daily (and essentially have for over four years). There's lots of reasons for it, but one comes down to making sure I'm being the best parent I can be. Every day when I sit down to write, one of two things happen--either I immediately know what I'm going to write about, or I have absolutely no clue what I'm going to write about. When I don't know, I ask myself a question, "What made today different than every other day?" If I can't answer that, I know that I skated through the day. I didn't pay enough attention to Alexis, I didn't provide enough opportunities for a unique sort of day, or I just plain called it in. Regardless, it makes me aware that I need to do a better job the next day.

Kids are the ultimate source of blog fodder. I just have to live life fully enough to notice what mine is doing.

She Did a Good Job, All Right

There have been approximately eleventy seventeen four-kajillion times that I've thought, "We might have just turned a corner." A bad habit broken, a good habit formed, or a newfound level of maturity seemed to be looming right in front of my eyes. Alas, just about every single time, I've been wrong.

Alexis was doing that lip thing. I very nearly rammed a pitchfork in my ears to make the annoying stop. Then, one day, the kid finally stopped doing that lip thing. Right after I got brave enough to take the industrial strength ear plugs out of my head, she started it again. Except, now she's an experienced champ at sucking her lip until my brain starts ramming itself against my skull in search of sweet, sweet release.

I can't count the number of times that I've thought maybe --just maybe-- we had finally broken the kid of wandering into our bed at night. Given that she's only stayed in her bed the whole night once so far this year, I think it's safe to say that I'm a wee bit over-optimistic. Often.

When I thought perhaps we had experienced a breakthough on the whole Too Shy to Function thing, I was a little scared to think about it too much. I'm STILL afraid to think about it too much.

So, I won't.

Instead, all I will say is that I'm not sure who I watched run the show at dance class today. My kid would never be the one told, "More dancing, less talking." My kid would never be the one yelling, "HIIIII!" across the room. My kid would never be the one being so outgoing that she could have been considered obnoxious.

It was, however, my kid who bounced out of class, looked me square in the eye, and said, "I did a good job today, but I still don't like her."

 

Olympic Dreams

I could totally win a gold medal at the Winter Olympics. You know, if I had any talent. And wasn't old. And maybe knew how to ski or snowboard or curl. Or anything. Except! I really do know how to figure skate. I even took lessons for a couple of years. If I had any idea where it was, I would even post a photo of me wearing a shiny gold figure skating costume that had a poofy tulle tutu and gold sequins all over the sleeveless bodice. (I truly don't have a copy of the photo--I would happily post it because OMG! I was CUTE! way back then.)

Anyway, the whole "I Could Do This" attitude has been alive and well each evening as Alexis and I have sat down to watch the Olympics on TV. She has informed me that she is going to luge when she is 16-years old. She's going to bobsled when she's 18-years old. She's going to snowboard when she's 20-years old. In other words, she has it all figured out.

Tonight we sat down to watch the beginning of the ladies figure skating. We've watched more than our fair share of skating all this week, but since this was the first opportunity to watch women skate alone, Alexis was even more mesmerized than usual. After a few minutes of her saying, "I want to do that!" I decided it was time to teach the kid a thing or two.

Dude. I can still do a waltz jump. Er . . . at least I can do it barefoot on carpet. And! And! I still remember how to do a Sow Cow!

Like I said, I could have won that gold medal.

So this evening Alexis and I "ice skated" our way all over the family room, imitating as much as we could.

After about half an hour of acting like a pair of skating fools, Alexis turned to me and said, "I'm going to be an ice skater when I'm 12."

I wouldn't put it past her.