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Friday
Jul132007

What to Do, What to Do

We had a lot of rain today, so there are puddles, puddles everywhere. What is a Kinnley to do?

A. Stomp in the puddles and splash water everywhere.
B. Bend over and slap the water to splash it even more.
C. Bend over even further and drink the water from the puddle.
D. All of the above.

The correct answer is, of course, D. I bet that was some sparkly clean water she drank from the driveway.

Thursday
Jul122007

Two for One at Robinson Mall

Alexis' portrait is still hanging at one of the Picture People stores at one of the malls in town. I know it's still there because random people will occasionally come up to Alexis and me and say something about it. I also get random people coming up to talk about the hemangioma on her forehead. (By the way, I hate talking to strangers one-on-one. Give me an audience of 500 and I'm all happy. Ask me to talk to a stranger for 10 seconds, I'm annoyed.) Today I had the pleasure of a two for one.

So Alexis and I are minding our own business, on our way to the playground. This random woman walks up and starts talking at me. Since she started with "Is that your little girl in the picture at . . . " she managed to get my attention. Mistake number one. She keeps going and starts to talk about how her little girl (probably 5 and standing right there) also had the same kind of mark on her head. Blah, blah, blah. Finally she gets to her point and says something to the effect "Isn't it too bad that Picture People can't Photoshop the strawberry off of her forehead?" Since I often forget to think before I speak, I replied, "Why would they do that?" She then went into this long disertation about how she Photoshopped EVERY SINGLE photo of her daughter so that she wouldn't grow up and be self-concious about pictures of herself.

I should probably mention that the lady had decided to do laser surgery and remove the hemangioma. You know, those things that go away on their own. The surgery left a heck of a scar. Even worse . . .how do I put this . . . well, I have to admit that the birthmark was the least of this kid's worries. We're talking Janice's baby from the of Friends when Rachel had Emma. That birthmark was doing the kid a favor by distracting from the rest of the mess on her shoulders. I can't even describe her other than to say she may have been the offspring of an alien, a pitbull, and Danny DeVito. And I'm exaggerating on the side of being nice.

Somehow I escaped this mad woman, but I'm still left to wonder, who Photoshops every picture of their kid? AND thinks everyone else should be doing it too?

Thursday
Jul122007

Who's the Bigger Dork?

There's a new debate in our house . . .

On Tuesday, Daddy confessed that he once saw Hall and Oats in concert. THAT made me laugh hysterically. It's not so much funny that he went, but it is funny that he told me, the Queen of Mockery. As I was mocking him for being a girl, he threw out "Yeah, well NELSON."

Yes, I did see Nelson in concert about 58 years ago when they were still almost hot brothers that sang together. I feel no need to defend this decision because: 1)It was free. 2)I lived in freakin' Minot, North Dakota. It's not like I had a whole lot of other things to do at the time. "Let's see. Should I go to a Nelson concert or sit here and stare at the wall. Hmmm . . . tough decision."

Anyway, who is the bigger dork?