Finding Fear

Alexis has been getting the shaft lately. We've been crazy busy trying to get the house all cleaned and purdied up, so she's been left to fend for herself more often than not. After two solid days of happily self-entertaining, we figured we owed her for her most excellent behavior. Yesterday we contrived a trip to the mall so that she could play at the little playground area for a few minutes (it's too muddy to play outside). We needed to run a few errands out that way, so it was a perfect combo trip.

As we drove towards the mall, we noticed a little something something in the parking lot. It seemed that a miniature carnival had been set up, and of course Alexis was quick to ask to go see what was going on. We gave it a gander, and at $1 per ride, we figured it was no big thing to let the kid pick a few things to make herself happy. She thought it was the greatest idea ever, and it got us out of having to deal with the annoying people who let their kids play at the mall playground. *ahem*

Anyway, I don't really know how it happened, but the kid has turned into a major adrenaline junky. While last year she cried like a whiney little baby when we stuck her on a ride at Kennywood, this year she is all MORE! HIGHER! FASTER! BIGGER! No problem. I too like to scream MORE! HIGHER! FASTER! BIGGER! as well. I don't do spinny stuff, but I will happily climb really high and then fall from the sky at top speed.

In a moment that made my heart swell with pride, Alexis looked around and spotted the biggest of the big rides, the ferris wheel, and started begging to go on it. It was a dream come true. I had a valid excuse to go play on a big ride with my most favoritest short person. Weeeeeee!

As we waited in line, I started checking out the ride and the guy operating it. And thinking. And wondering. And when the hell did I grow up and start actually worrying about whether or not those kinds of rides are assembled correctly? And when did I start glaring at total strangers and wondering how I could interview them to make sure they were qualified to push that button? By the time it was our turn to get on the ferris wheel, I had myself all sorts of worked into a tizzy.

Of course, Alexis was oblivious. She was SO STOKED to get on that ride. Instantly she started chattering and giggling and laughing and squealing with glee, which just made me more nervous. As we rose higher and higher, I stared at bolts, scanning everywhere to see if any were loose. Why? I have no idea. It's not like I could use a 35-pound kid as a parachute when I jumped off the ride. We were stuck on the darn thing, and I was suddenly impersonating a scaredy cat.

I sat clutching the thin bar that was supposed to separate Alexis and I from death. Alexis threw her arms up in the air and yelled, "Weeeeeeeeeeee!" I pictured us falling to our deaths. Alexis started rocking the car and giggling, "This is SO fun!"

I swear the kid was trying to give me a heart attack.

It's not fair that having a kid makes you scared of the very things that you used to love the most.

Signs of the Apocolypse

If you have a nest egg in savings, you might want to go on a little shopping spree. If you have a couple of things left to do on your Bucket List, you better get busy. If you have anybody you need to apologize to, you better pick up the phone. I have seen signs of the apocalypse, and we're all short on time.

In the past two days, I have cleaned out every closet in our house, some of which hadn't been opened in years because the massive piles of crap inside were lodged so tightly they were bound to come shooting out the second the door opened. I might have lost an eye doing it, but woooohooo for clean closets!

You should be afraid.

Yesterday, I took down the Christmas tree in Alexis' room. She walked in and discovered my sin about halfway through. She demonstrated that although she doesn't know what it means, she totally knows how to make a WTF Face. It took some major fast-talking for me to get out of that room alive. And with a fully boxed up Christmas tree.

You should be afraid.

When we first bought this house, very high on the List of Things We Hated were the interior doors. They were a fugly dark brown faux-wood sticker over cardboard sort of contraption. We ran out and bought a bunch of new doors over the years, but somehow, the upstairs ones never quite got installed. The pretty new doors sat down in our garage gathering dust for years. YEARS. This weekend, Mr. Husband installed them all.

You should be afraid.

The world is ending. Either that, or we put in an offer on a house today and expect to put our itty bitty townhouse up for sale right after Memorial Day.

COMMENCE FREAKOUT!

One Year Ago Today