Friday, January 2, 2009Not Exactly What I Would Call "Layering"
The battles. The wars. The fighting. I really didn't expect all that when it came to clothing for another, oh, 10 years or so. I thought that if I let Alexis pick out her clothes when we purchase them, she would be pretty willing to wear whatever is in her closet.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! As if!
Every. single. day. A battle. I can send the kid into her room to pick out whatever she wants, but she won't be happy. Nope. Instead of just selecting something, she will dig through drawer after drawer, flip through hanger after hanger, and pray to the gods of Toddler clothing that something perfect will magically appear right before her eyes. It never does.
I can give her the choice of two or three outfits. She won't be able to make up her mind and will get angry that I dared to enter her closet zone.
I can just pick something and try to force her into it, but that requires about fifteen wrestling moves that I never quite learned in Mean Mommy Preparatory class.
Then sometimes I can tell her, "Go. put. clothes. on. NOW."
And she'll put them all on at once.
Three shirts, a dress, a skirt, leggings, and socks. Oh, and a Mickey head.
A New Year's Wish for You
Apparently I am the only one who enjoyed the bliss that was a snore-free bedroom last night, so Mr. Husband conned me into running to pick the Bulldog up from her "spa" today. Daycare did their lovely thing where they close early but charge us for a full day, so I managed to pick Alexis up a few hours before our usual hour. It was just in time to hit a wondrous mass of traffic on the Parkway. WONDROUS, I tell you. It was the first time since living in Pittsburgh that I finally figured out why the highways that lead into Downtown are called "Parkways" here. Hello, parking lots!
As Alexis and I sat, not moving, on a major highway, Alexis launched into a sort of mood that is always certain to leave me laughing, crying, and sometimes doing both at one time. She's one of those kids who never shuts up stops talking, but the majority of the time she doesn't really care if anyone is listening. Today, however, it was all about being the center of the universe. I had .0307 seconds to reply to whatever she was saying OR ELSE. I don't really know OR ELSE what, just that I had better be a compliant little Momma.
Alexis tossed out a steady stream of questions and I absent-mindedly answered as I wondered why we hadn't moved so much as an inch in several minutes. I tried calling Mr. Husband to see if he could find out if there was a wreck, and if so where, but he was away from his desk.
Then I saw it happen.
Somebody used the bus lane to zip past a bunch of cars then forced their way back onto the Parkway.
Now, I know that sometimes when I'm hauling people all over the place, my car really does feel like a bus. BUT IT ISN'T A BUS. Neither is your white Neon. Or your burgundy Cavalier. And, oh my hell, seeing people think they are in a bigger hurry than any of the other hundred or so people on a road MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL.
*deep breaths*
Ahem.
Anyway, I was getting madder and madder as Alexis drilled me on important issues such as what we were having for dinner, where Meg was, where Daddy was, what color Goofy's pants are, and who knows what else. I was thinking of exactly how I could balance making sure I totaled our old Honda Passport while keeping the kid safe when Alexis completely interrupted my train of thought.
"I take Snow White's clothes off."
Alexis had a Snow White doll in the car. Apparently that doll was, at that moment, getting naked. In the back seat. Of our SUV. Then came a lovely little request.
"Momma, can you open Snow White's bum?"
"What?" I asked.
"Can you open Snow White's bum, please?" Alexis repeated.
Happy New Year to you, and I hope no toddlers try to open your bum in 2009!
(Thanks, everyone, for hanging with me for the past year! Y'all are THE BEST.)
