How I Nearly Died at the Hands of a Critter

It was a beautiful, sunny day. I was determined to carefully dig up a few mounds of Shasta Daisies to share with some of the Burgh Moms. I trudged around the yard, looking for stray daisies that were just screaming to be moved. There are hundreds, possibly thousands, of daisies at the end of the driveway, so I plunked down my shovel and prepared to dig.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!" I screamed. Like a girl. Like a wussy girlie girl. With perfectly pedicured nails, and pretty ponytails. And a cheerleading outfit. A pink cheerleading outfit.

What I thought was a mouse had ran across my flip-flop covered foot.

As I slowly jumped back into my skin I spotted my alleged mouse. It wasn't so much a mouse as it was a bunny. A teeny tiny fuzzy widdle baby bunny rabbit.

I'm pretty sure it tried to kill me. THAT is why I screamed, not because I am a girlie wuss.

Of course my scream caught Mr. Husband's attention, so he came wandering over to mock me. "Check out the baby bunny," I said, careful to not tell the true story of how that teeny tiny baby bunny had teeth like Dracula and was likely to tear him to shreds if he got too close. Or maybe the bunny only chews on women. Whatever.

Mr. Husband thinks every animal is in need of his special touch, so he began stalking the bunny in an attempt to catch it. He managed to chase the bunny right into the storm drain.

Cue 40 minute break in the action while Mr. Husband tried various shovels, tools, and finally a fish net to rescue the bunny from it's damp dungeon.

Once Mr. Husband had caught the bunny, he harassed it for quite a while, then decided to show it to the Toddler. She? Was not amused:

But dang it, the girl didn't scream. I guess I'm the biggest wuss in the house after all.

Let the Games Begin: Caption Contest

The five finalists for the Write Your Own Caption contest are:

Colleen with:
"mmmm....gummy worms! *sniff* that smells funny....guess I'll give it to mommy to eat. Lellow ones are her favorites anyways."

Danielle with:
"I can't eat this...I like grass...and I think I like this...but I don't like this if it was touching the grass!"

Brian with:
"Dammit, the dog peed on this one, too? I hate that dog."

Flea with:
(Voice over in documentary)
" ... and the domesticated toddler inspects the foliage carefully. Notice that she uses the sense of sight and smell to evaluate the properties, attempting to determine its genus and origin prior to opening her field guide ..."

and Kimmjo with:
"Hmmmm wonder which dog would eat you . . ."

You have until Monday, July 28th at 9:00 pm Burgh time to vote for your favorite. Campaigning for votes is totally recommended and if you can figure out a way to cheat, knock yourself out. Oh, and if you don't like the picks? Blame Mr. Husband. I had absolutely positively nothing to do with it as I was in the kitchen pretending that I'm not domestically challenged. It's quite an act I put on.

Last Chance to Get in on the Fun

And on this day, Mr. Husband agreed to pick the five finalists for the caption contest, thereby rescuing me from ripping my hair out in frustration because YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU ARE TOO FUNNY. If you haven't yet joined in on the fun, you still have a few hours to get your contribution in. I suggest you take into consideration that a man who finds Ace Ventura, things that fart, and me bashing my head on a door that he left open EXCEEDINGLY funny holds your fate in his goofy little head.