The 4th of July Miracles

And on this day, July 4th, 2008, two miracles hath occurred:

The first miracle comes in the form of a certain set of in-laws and their miraculous appearance in The Burgh. It has been just shy of 2 1/2 years since Daddy o' Mr. Husband ventured this far North. When I first heard rumors of an appearance, I did not believe. That's right, I was not a believer. But, a big white flying hunk of metal landed in The Burgh, and aboard were Daddy o' Mr. Husband and Stepmommy o' Mr. Husband.

The Toddler, for her part, appears to be so shocked by this miracle that she can't even make eye contact with her visitors. I'll be talking to her in the morning and reminding her that Daddy o' Mr. Husband is far more likely to purchase Dora toys than I am, and that she should kick the butt-kissing into overdrive immediately.

(I plan to continue posting throughout this miraculous appearance, but if you don't see me around, do not worry. I'm somewhere or other, just not here. Or there.)

The other miracle, while not 29 months in the making, is a pretty darn big deal. I finally did it. Finally, six months later than I should have. It only took a few minutes, and today I FINALLY remembered and got it done. So mark your calendars for on July 4, 2008, I finally . . .

. . . took down Alexis' Christmas tree. I was going to just leave it up for next year, but we're are knee deep in looking for a new house, so there's a chance I would have to pack it anyway. Rejoice! All Christmas decorations are finally put away!

Commence mocking in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . mock away.

I deserve it.

A Story in Pictures: The Dog Edition

(Alternate title: Our Dogs are Sliding Dorks.)

If at First You Don't Succeed, Ignore Your Mother

My softball game was an early one tonight and the timing of it all made it necessary for Mr. Husband and I to do a roadside kid swap. So, Alexis and I were driving down the road on our way to meet him (I was the one steering and pushing the gas pedal, just in case you were concerned) and she decided it was time to start working on her rider for when she is a famous performer of some sort. She was running through the list of all her demands.

"I want strawberries."

"I wanna watch Dora dance." (She was referring to a specific DVD that I wish we didn't own. Major eye and ear bleedage right there.)

"I want milk shake."

"I want book."

"I wanna watch movie."

"I want apples."

"I want Signing Time."

"I want French fries."

I'm a special brand of crazy, so I interjected, "You want French fries? I don't think so, honey."

"No, I get French fries," she replied.

I said, "No, Daddy is going to make you dinner. It probably won't be French fries."

"No, I eat French fries," she replied.

"Why is talking to you like negotiating a hostage situation? No French fries," I retorted.

"I eat French fries," Alexis insisted, "and after I watch Dora Dance."

How nice of her to start using the concept of time as a means to plan her entire day. I don't know exactly how it happened, but the kid has suddenly integrated "before" and "after" into her lexicon, effectively turning one of my main ways of getting MY way against me. She wants to watch Sesame Street? I tell her she can, right after she finishes picking up all her books. I am not amused that I'm now the victim of this tactic. This was supposed to be a one way street.

"Alexis, you're not eating French fries and you're not watching Dora Dance. You can have some strawberries and then you can color, though," I told the little terrorist.

"No. I eat French fries and after watch Dora Dance."

Right about then, I managed to get Mr. Husband on the phone. We negotiated a meeting place based on our current locations. The best place for us to meet?

McDonald's.

Guess who got her French fries?

Even better, when I got home from the game, Mr. Husband told me some of the things that Alexis got to do over the course of the evening.

She watched Dora Dance.

Moral of the story: If you say something enough times, and to the right person, you will get your way.