Think? On a Saturday Night? Uh, No.

- Undoing the warm fuzzies from last night was a piece of cake for one rotten Toddler. After walking through a store with her face up my butt for a solid ten minutes, she very loudly proclaimed, "Stinky bum!" Whatever, kiddo. I'd rather be pretty than fresh-scented. Next time try maintaining a safe distance.

- I'm sure you will hear about it on the news, but I will soon be honored by the Academy in the category of Best Actress from my breath-taking performance in, "You Got Dora Sheets, Little Toddler!" Even I believed that I was genuinely excited and thrilled about those tacky pink Dora sheets. And we all know that I plan to assassinate the bossy little Latina just as soon as I find someone that will sell me a shotgun. That was some impressive acting, if I do say so myself.

- Where are the mother truckin' Girl Scouts when you need them? I went on a hunting expedition today armed with mucho cashola and couldn't find a single lazy Girl Scout sitting at a table while her mom sold cookies. I need some darn cookies, people. It's going to get ugly if I don't get some lemon thingys tomorrow. (Why did they change the names anyway? I was fine with "Caramel Delights" and "Peanut Butter Patties." I can't remember that cutesy crap.)

- You with the Georgia license plate driving through Pittsburgh at 8:30 this evening: Slam on your breaks like that again, and I will tell my husband to intentionally ram into your butt. Snow + Ice = No slammy slam the breaky breaks. You very nearly caused a twenty car pile-up when you suddenly realized you weren't comfortable driving 50 mph through the snow.

- Alexis had a play date with the one and only Dylan today. Peeps, he's even cuter in person than he is in pictures. I kind of wanted to nibble on his ear, but his mom was keeping a close eye on me. Darn the luck.

- Earlier this week, I shed real tears when this happened to the very last Girl Scout cookie in our house:

Rest in peace, you beautiful little Dos-Si-Do.

Melting Mom's Annoyance the Easy Way

If you ever want to make your Mom instantly forgive you for weeks and weeks of random bad sleep habits, just perform the following four easy steps:

1. Place your adorable little chubby hands on either side of you mom's face.

2. Turn your mom's head until she is facing you.

3. Say, "Mommy, you're pretty. I love you!"

4. Kiss her on the nose.

INSTANT MELT. Guaranteed.

Who's Going on a Picnik with Me?

Remember the sort of contest for 3 months of free premium Picnik access? Well, we have winners. I tried asking Alexis to pick the winners, but every time I asked her for a number, she would count to nine. We can't have nine winners. So, I consulted Mr. Google and he recommended a random number generator site. Here we go:

Comment number 2 belonged to Karen and 37 was Caramama. Email me by Monday morning to claim your goodies. If you don't, I'm giving them to somebody who pays better attention. ;-)