Day Thirty-Six

The thing about switching from being in the office to working from home is HOLY CRAP, I NEVER MOVE. I went from getting 7,000+ steps a day just by existing to ... 200? Maybe 300? I attend the same number of meetings in a day, but it turns out that when all of those meetings can be attended from your desk, it's very different from running all over a large building.

Who would have guessed?

To combat how completely cagey not moving makes me (Apparently I *do* prefer to get some exercise? WHO KNEW?), I've taken to making sure there's a 2 or 3-mile walk in my day. I prefer that it be in the evenings because mornings are stupid, but so are my neighbors. Look, I'm sure some of them are perfectly lovely people, but if I go for a walk in the evening, I will see every stupid person there is swapping oxygen as they completely ignore all social distancing everything. There are a couple of houses that consistently have people over, to the tune of 8-10 extra cars parked in front of the house, so whatever. WHATEVER. I choose not to walk in the evenings because it's much easier to not be bothered by things that I can't control when I don't see them.

That leaves me mornings. I'm not capable of intelligent thought in the morning, but that's fine. I don't need to be able to think when I'm putting one foot in front of the other.

That's my explanation as to why I was walking around my neighborhood at 7:30 this morning. I didn't have any meetings until later than usual, so I was doing the BIG loop. I was at the furthest possible point from our house when I encountered him.

The scene: it was 7:30 am and this guy was out mowing his grass. He had an dirty red push mower and was cruising his way through his front yard while wearing baggy fleece shorts, an old t-shirt, and a well-worn baseball cap. I do not describe his appearance because I'm judging it; wear whatever you want when you're mowing your grass. But, he was wearing shorts when it was about 40 degrees and mowing at 7:30 am on a Monday and I feel like those pieces fit together to paint a picture?

They paint a picture.

And then the painting became even more vivid. It was the end of a cul-de-sac, so I was working my way around the little circle on my way back towards my house. As I strolled past Mr. Mows Too Damn Early And Yes I Am Judging THAT, he turned off his mower. He took a few steps around the old push mower, approaching me slowly. As he walked, he rubbed his hands together. Like this.

And then ... AND THEN ... he talked to me. At 7:30 am. When I was innocently walking and not making eye contact and have you met me? I am SO not friendly in the wild. I am a hardcore introvert who puts off snob vibes, but really it's "I'd rather be curled up in the corner than around people." There's a reason this whole social distancing thing hasn't broken me yet and it's that I pretty much enjoy NOT talking to strangers.

But he talked to me anyway.

He walked towards me, rubbing his hands together, and said, "Hey. Not only is the CDC lying, but the World Health Organization is lying, too."

And then he waited for a response.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FLIPPERDOODLE? What do you say to THAT?

I mumbled something about "Conspiracy theories are great and all that but they won't get you far," which I hope he interpreted as, "You are loonier than a snake's armpit," but I doubt he did because anybody who walks up to a stranger and says that sort of thing obviously donated his brain to science before he was done with it.

My comeback sucked, but that doens't matter a bit since a man who will do that isn't going to be convinced by any snide remark or glimpse of intelligence or anything. I mean, the guy clearly has spent hours researching on the internet and everything on the internet is true so there you go. It's true facts that the WHO, a group who has absolutely zero reason to lie about anything, must be lying.

::eyeroll::

That's what we're trying to protect, y'all. We're worried about net neutrality and democracy and practicing social distancing because at the end of the day, we're trying to protect THAT. That guy's right to be an absolute and complete idiot.

Remind me why?

Day Thirty-Five

Did you know that you have to feed kids seven times a day? And sometimes eight? That's where I'm at with this whole stay-at-home thing. All I do is give my kids food.

Thus, I'm starting to make things that reheat well so I can call one day's lunch the next day's lunch as well. Because seriously. I don't think Mila ate this much before. The quantity of food that she is currently consuming is RIDICULOUS.

Alas, a simple soup. I'm trying to keep the vegetables going because left to their own devices, both kids will live off of not-vegetables. While Alexis isn't into sweets, the girl can down some potato chips. And Mila? She's all about the candy. So much candy.

 White Bean and Spinach Soup

2-3 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
1 red pepper, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 cup chopped carrots
2 stalks celery, chopped
4 cups broth (vegetable is my preferred broth, but chicken would also work)
2 cans Great Northern Beans
12-14 ounces fresh spinach (I use a bag of prewashed spinach, which I wash again because I'm paranoid)
1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1/2 teaspoon dried basil
salt
black pepper

1. In a large stock pot, heat the olive oil over medium low heat. Add the red pepper and garlic and sauté lightly for 4-5 minutes. Add the onions, carrots, and celery and sauté for another 4-5 minutes.

2. Add the broth, beans, rosemary, thyme, and basil to the pot and simmer on medium heat for 10-12 minutes. Stir occasionally.

3. Add the spinach. It will look like it's entirely too much spinach, but hold tight. It only takes a few minutes for it to shrink considerably.

4. Continue to simmer until the spinach wilts completely, approximately 5 minutes.

5. Add salt and pepper to taste.

You can serve this soup immediately or leave it on low heat for as long as you need to. It holds up REALLY well.

An aside: If you decide to add acini de pepe, do it after the spinach has wilted and cook according to the instructions on the box. If you add it too soon, it turns mushy.

Day Thirty-Four