Blame the Parents

With a sigh that could tell a longer tale than any novel, Mila made it crystal clear how she feels about my rule that there is no food allowed in the carpeted areas of our house. It's a very simple rule designed to keep all food in the kitchen or dining room, but both girls have THE WORST time with it. Alexis is a little better about it than Mila, but that's like saying a lake isn't as wet as an ocean. Mila is a complete disaster at keeping her food on the right side of the line.

Oh, did I mention that keeping food off of the kitchen is as simple as not taking a step? BECAUSE IT IS. Our kitchen and family room are all one big room, split in half with a strip of wood signaling the transition from wood flooring to carpet. JUST STAY ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE LINE, MILA. She has the worst time with it.

I guarantee that when Mila is an adult, she will purposely stand on carpet while eating just to make up for all the times I've fussed at her for doing it. Seriously. I wouldn't put it past her to buy a house with a carpeted room just so she can eat on the carpet. It's definitely going to be a thing.

I maybe leave the fridge door open from time-to-time for that exact reason. That was always one of my mom's pet peeves, so she would fuss about it about 2 seconds after I would open the fridge door. If I had a dollar for each time she told me to take a picture instead of standing there staring into the food abyss, I would have enough money to pay to keep a fridge door open for 50 years. I'd have some change leftover, too.

So, Mila, someday when you spill spaghetti sauce on your carpet because you INSISTED on eating there, think of me. Think of all the times I asked you to stay on the right side of the line and you refused. Karma, she will come for you.

Mini Gaga

Mila is a television grazer. She essentially wanders the house looking for a victim who will let her take control, but when that fails, she just wanders. She'll go back and forth between televisions hoping for a glimpse of Disney+ or Boss Baby or whatever, with the constant hope that she will manage to gain control.

Let's be honest, it's very rare that she wins with me. I don't bow to threats. What's more, I generally have something boring like The Voice or whatever on. I don't actually care about television, so I turn on generic background noise and call it a day.

But I don't care about it at all.

And I refuse to let Mila cause me to care by turning on something annoying. I want background noise -- things that won't be interesting, but won't be good. THAT is the ticket. It helps if it's something that won't require that I pay attention. That means that I usually don't even know what's on when Mila walks in the room and asks me to change the channel.

I just say "No" automatically. It's best that way.

Tonight Mila wandered into the family room in search of a way to get control over the television. I started to spit out my usual "No," but paused as I realized Mila hadn't actually asked for the remote. There's a script she's supposed to follow, so I was WAAAAAY confused that she wasn't following it. I looked over at her and realized she was frozen in place, staring intently at the TV.

"Who is that?" she finally asked.

It was Lady Gaga. There was an Apple commercial playing and it featured basically a music video with Lady Gaga. Mila stared at it completely engrossed. When it was over, Mila asked me to play it again.

So I rewound the television. Remember when we couldn't do that? Like, NOT THAT LONG AGO? Get off my lawn, whippersnappers. Tivo really did save the day. And don't bother telling me you don't know what Tivo is, young'ins. IT WAS IMPORTANT, OKAY?

On the second viewing, Mila joined the dancing. She imitated Lady Gaga's every move. It was hilarious and adorable and fantastic, so I asked her to do it again.

And again.

And again.

I have very strict rules about small children not being the boss of the TV, and that is exactly why we watched an Apple commercial featuring Lady Gaga at least 20 times. IT WAS TOTALLY MY CHOICE, OKAY?

Nutella No Bake Cookies

I've mentioned that I was a deprived child, right? I never had a single Barbie doll. I wasn't allowed to play with Play-Doh. The nearest Taco Bell was an 8-hour drive (upside: Taco John's FTW!). And in what is possibly the cruelest joke of all time, I didn't know what Nutella was until . . . um . . . aw, hell. I didn't find out about it until well after college.

Thank you for your sympathy. It is appreciated.

I can actually tell you the exact day that I first tried Nutella. It was EXACTLY 10 years ago today. Thank you, Timehop, for that little nugget of information. In honor of that anniversary, I think it's time to bring out the Nutella No Bake Cookies recipe again.

*drool*

These are so good. Soooooo good.

Nutella No Bake Cookies

1 3/4 cup white sugar

1/2 cup milk

1/2 cup butter

4 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder

1/2 cup Nutella

3 cups quick cooking oats

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Combine sugar, milk, butter and cocoa powder in medium saucepan.  Bring to a boil and cook for 1 1/2 minutes.  Remove from heat and add Nutella, oats and vanilla.  Drop by teaspoonfuls onto wax paper. Let cool until hardened.

Makes about 3 dozen cookies. That's enough to last about 14 seconds at my house.