Friday, February 14, 2020Mission Accomplished
Every once in a while, I think we need to sit back and revel in our victories. Today is one of those days. It was a day that was packed full from beginning to end, including non-stop meetings followed by a very strict kid chauffeuring schedule.
VERY strict.
First, I needed to leave work on time. That is no small feat. I’m one of those people who can walk ten feet and get stopped twelve times because EVERYONE has questions. I very much so lack answers, but that doesn’t stop people from trying. Repeatedly. I long ago figured out to take a back stairwell when I’m trying to get out of the building in a timely manner because it legit can take me half an hour to get down four flights of stairs in the center part of the office. That back stairwell is magical, but I still have to get to it. That path is a filled with landmines and quizzing. Today I not only made it to that stairwell without getting stopped, I also managed to escape out a side door without being seen.
That alone is a victory.
But then I made it on time to pick up Alexis. Again, that is no small feat. I am that person who is destined to be late no matter what, so normally if I get out of work in a timely manner, I will get stuck behind grandma driving 10 mph in a 55 mph zone. For real. I can’t begin to count how many times I’ve been caught on a 2-lane road with nowhere to go but slow.
After picking up Alexis, I had to pick up Mila. She’s doing a crazy after-school program for a few weeks. Basically, she gets to stay after school for a swimming class, along with a few hundred other kids who are doing various other activities. What it all amounts to is a NIGHTMARE. Pick-up is about 19138571348 times worse than pick-up on the first day of school. The parents all have to go inside, find the appropriate line to get their kid, and then get checked out by a volunteer who has never before check out a parent.
It’s a cluster. The BIGGEST cluster.
When I pulled into the school parking lot 15 minutes before pick-up was supposed to start, I thought I was screwed. The parking lot was full, meaning dozens and dozens of parents were more than 15 minutes early. The parking lot was so full that Alexis commented, “Do other parents not have lives or something? Why would you show up so early?”
YES. THAT.
When Alexis did the same after-school program years ago, it took about half an hour to get through pick-up. I considered that a feature rather than a bug because it meant I could show up late and still have it seem like I was on time. Today, though, I needed to be on time because I had one other stop. So, even though the lot was full, I got out of the car and walked up to the doors so I could wait in line with hundreds of other parents.
And then it happened. I somehow managed to end up standing in the exact right place where I got to go through the doors first out of all the parents. It was pure dumb luck and I don’t expect to be that fortunate again. I’ll take it, though!
And then I made it through the pick-up process … efficiently? I think that’s the right word. It still took 7 minutes from the time I had a Mila to the time I was officially allowed to exit the elementary school gymnasium (a 30-foot walk, if that), but I’ll take it.
That quick turnaround meant I made it to my next stop with four minutes to spare. Alexis managed to be in dance class – on the other side of town - better than right on time. It was MAGICAL.
Basically what I’m saying is that I’m celebrating the fact that I was on time for three whole things today and if that doesn’t say, “That’s parenthood for you,” then I don’t know what will.
Carpool Karaoke
I am starting to come to terms with the fact that apparently I'm going to be a cheer mom all over again. There are advantages? I guess? Let's pretend there are advantages.
Or I could go create advantages.
I made a decision a few weeks ago. If I'm going to go down in a flaming ball of misery, I'm taking people with me. It just so happens that Mila has two friends who live in our neighborhood. Both of those friends also participated in the cheer camp a while back and enjoyed it, so I lured their moms in. Mwahahahahaha! Their moms are reasonable enough humans, aka not insane cheer moms. I hold the bar very low, you see. Be anything less than insane and we can be friends.
So I talked two friends into letting their kids do the cheer thing with Mila. Two friends who happen to live in our neighborhood. You see where this is going, right?
ALL HAIL CARPOOLING!
There are 17 weeks in the cheer season, but I won't have to be an active participant in them all. It's genius, really. We're going to rotate around and take turns driving all three of them. I'm only going to have to play along with this whole thing 6 or so times total. It's SPECTACULAR.
Or so I thought.
I was first up with the chauffer driver thing. That meant running home from work to grab Mila, then grabbing two other kids from a few houses away.
It started immediately. Immediately after her first friend got in the car, Mila turned into a nut. She is loud and raucous and SO very obnoxious. The laughter could be heard for MILES.
And then I added a second kid.
Do you know how much noise three 5-year olds can make? You may think you know, but I bet you need to double it before you would be accurate. I've been to concerts with thousands of other people that were quieter than those three were during the 15 minute drive to cheer. But! Good news! I got smarter for the drive home.
Way smarter.
I blasted Let It Go. Legit, I pulled out the old Frozen soundtrack and blasted a song I knew the Three Amigas couldn't listen to without singing along. They fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. The three balls of chaos started singing in unison and managed to flip from being possibly the most annoying children on earth to delightful and cute. We kept the carpool karaoke going the entire way home and all was good.
Thank goodness I get to share the cheer misery. Once every three weeks is not all that bad.
