Enchanted

Thank You, Britney

I TAKE IT BACK. ALL OF IT. THE ELF IS THE GREATEST THING EVER HUZZAAAAAH!

Ahem.

For what it's worth, I start dishing out the Santa threats about three seconds after Halloween ends. With Alexis, that has always worked. If she managed to step out of line at all (which, LOLOLOLZ, her version of "out of line" is soooo different from Mila's), I could say, "Huh. I wonder what Santa would think about how you're acting," and she would snap to attention. And then start crying because she felt terrible about how she had been behaving.

Mila, on the other hand, has been suspicious of this Santa thing all along. The first time I said that, she replied, "He's too busy to care," and I was stunned silent. She's not wrong in that thinking, you know? After that she became even more suspicious and basically found ways to explain how it wasn't possible that he sees everything. He's too far away. He's busy building toys. He can't watch everyone; that's impossible. Mila is so dang practical it hurts and her problem solving skills? AMAZING.

So basically Santa is dead to me these days. If he can't manage to keep a kid sort of in line, what good is he?

But then the Elf came out.

When the Elf came back out, we reviewed the rules of the Elf by reading the book. We talked a lot about how she's there to keep an eye out and report back. I expected Mila to find holes in the whole story, but whatever. That's what she does.

On the first night, the Elf wore a super hero costume. I've been buying it extra clothes every year in January on clearance for practically nothing, so there's quite the tiny wardrobe these days. That meant that on day two, she could wear something else. On day three she dressed up like a lumberjack. That was the day that Mila became enthralled by the wardrobe thing. "Wouldn't it be so cool if she wore a princess dress next?" Mila said.

I latched onto the opportunity. "If you manage to be good all day, maybe when she reports to Santa tonight, he'll give her a princess dress to wear!"

Britney the Elf has never worn a princess dress before. There wasn't one in the house. I FIXED THAT REEEEEAL QUICK.

The next day, Britney the Elf was sitting on the shelf in Mila's bedroom proudly donning a princess dress. Mila was AMAZED. "It's a good thing I was so good yesterday!" she declared.

Britney threats have worked for the days since that. Like, for real. Mila thinks about refusing to clean up a mess or starts throwing a fit and I'm like, "Britney's watching!" and Mila stops.

I LOVE THE DAMN ELF!

I'm Toast

We have officially entered the portion of the holiday season when I'm screwed. Completely screwed. It's not that I'm burning the candle at both ends; it's that the candle has melted all the way and I'm sitting here holding fire because WHY ARE THERE NOT MORE HOURS IN THE DAY?

Work is crazypants. Like, a level of crazypants that can't be put into words.

Home is crazypants. I have words for some of it. Like, I won't be home a single evening in 14 days. There's always the usual dance classes and such, but this time of year we add in a healthy dose of Other Activities. Birthday parties, Christmas parties, band concerts, musicals, school meetings, shopping that has to get done ... it goes on and on and on. There's a reason I'm supposed to put up Christmas trees before Thanksgiving and it's that there is no such thing as spare time once we're on this side of Thanksgiving.

Speaking of band concerts (I did mention them up there. I swear it.), HOW ABOUT THAT? I completely forget that Alexis is in band except for the twice per year when she has a performance. She never ever ever brings her clarinet home to practice, so it's as if it doesn't exist. In some ways, Alexis is the best kind of band kid. She's the kind who manages to participate without dragging me into it. ;-)

This year's band concert was once again not at all painful. Our district does a very good job with that by keeping it short and sweet. Alexis' grade played 3 songs and then they were done. That's ... so excellent. I had a couple of observations this year, though.

1. By 8th grade, kids don't suck at playing instruments. That's the line. 7th grade is still -meh- but 8th grade crosses over to somewhat enjoyable.

2. Is it just our district that doesn't assign chairs in band? As in, there are no 1st, 2nd, etc. chairs. The kids are allowed to sit wherever they want, just as long as they're in their section. IT CONFUSES ME SO MUCH. How am I supposed to know who is good and who is just along for the ride if they don't sit in order by skill? It seems so wrong, but maybe it's normal and I just don't know it?

3. Middle schoolers aren't awkward anymore. It's completely unfair. There were maybe 2 or 3 kids who are fighting the puberty battle, but their clothes are all flattering and cute, everybody has good hair, etc. There is an entire generation who doesn't know what the awkward teenage years are like. How are they ever going to learn to be grateful for their 20s if they aren't awkward in their teens? And they're managing to not be awkward while wearing the clothes we were wearing in the 90s, so WTAF? Mom jeans and plaid shirts are back, you guys, but somehow they work on this generation.

This generation will probably figure out how to hold fire in their hands. They're good at everything else, why wouldn't they figure out how to pack in more hours in a day?