Delightful. Truly.

Unexcused Absences

I didn't know to be thankful for a kid who doesn't take attendance until I had one who does, so I'd like to retroactively appreciate Alexis, please.

Thanks, kid. It's pretty cool that you've never cared if I show up for school holiday parties or concerts or cheer events or any of that.

NOW TEACH YOUR SISTER.

::sigh::

Mila takes attendance. She always has. If there is a performance at the end of dance class, I better be in the front row. If there is a holiday party at school, I better be a parent volunteer. And I sure better be in the audience when the school Halloween parade walks through.

I MADE IT! HUZZAH!

Every year, the elementary school does a parade with all of the kids on Halloween. It's usually at about 1:30 or 2:00, which is just swell for working parents. There's nothing I enjoy more than making sure I block off two hours on my calendar so I can walk my kid walk past in half her costume. Obviously, with Alexis, it didn't matter if I went or not. Thus, I did it a few times, but only the years when it worked with all things work.

Mila, though. I know Mila cares if I show up.

I arranged my entire day around that thirteen second parade. I'm not exaggerating how long it is, by the way. It truly took thirteen seconds for Mila to walk in the door and then pass by me. I know it took that long because she entered one door of the gymnasium at the exact moment I entered the other door and I raced her to the seating area. Anyone watching would have thought I was competing on Supermarket Sweep because ZOOOM! But! I made it! And Mila had no idea that I had just gotten there.

Still, despite the adrenaline rush from being in a hurry, it's quite the feeling when you know your kid wants you to attend and then that kid sees you across a room, smiles, and waves. Mila was SO pleased. So very pleased. It was kind of her to be the second kid in line, by the way. As in, period. Of all kids in all grades. It's as if she was in a hurry to take attendance. It's a really good thing I was mostly on time.

Which is more than I can say for the poor dad I encountered on my way out.

Since Mila was second in line, I didn't see any reason for me to stay to watch the whole parade. I could have counted Descendents characters, but let's go ahead and assume ALL OF THEM. ALL OF THE KIDS WERE DESCENDENTS CHARACTERS. So I left as soon as kindergarten was done. Sorry, big kids! I made the trek back to my car, but as I was walking down the big hill, there was a dad literally running up. He was out of breath, but focused on his destination. "What grade?" he panted as he passed me.

"They're probably on second grade by now," I answered. I knew kindergarten was for sure done, but first grade likely was as well as it had been a couple of minutes since I walked out.

The dad stopped running. He froze in his tracks, made a disappointed face, and then continued his trudge towards the parade, albeit at a greatly reduced pace.

I hope his kid isn't an attendance taker.

It's All Planned Out

It has now been a little over two weeks since I got in a fight with a sidewalk and since then, I've realized a few things. For one, it's suuuuuuuuuper interesting that not a single person anywhere asked how much I had been drinking. I hadn't been, of course, BUY WHY DOES EVERYONE ASSUME THAT? I think maybe I'm not perceived as "fun." That's how I'm taking it.

Another thing is HOLY MOTHER OF INSANITY IS DENTAL CARE EXPENSIVE. I'm like three hours into getting the evidence of the fight fixed and have already racked up over $4000 in bills. Insurance is covering a lot of that, but I'm still out a giant chunk of money. Like, a mortgage payment worth of money. If I add up appointments and estimates and such, it is costing about $1200/hours to rearrange things back to some semblance of normalcy. WHO HAS THAT? How did we reach a point where we collectively decided that was acceptable?

I'm totally serious. I had no choice but to go to an emergency room (which I haven't seen the bill for yet ... ::gulp::) and then to the dentist but people who don't have insurance? They have to decide to suffer or ... suffer. There is no choice. They either deal with pain and misery or they deal with debt and misery. It's not at all how the world should be.

Lastly, I have realized that my children have no souls. One of them has made fun of me endlessly for fighting with a sidewalk. Because she's mean. The other one has been extra needy, as if I don't have my own little world I'm trying to deal with. That's the kid who has gone from fearless to scared of her shadow in a *snap.* I don't entirely know why, but I think it has something to do with a fake hand that happens to be in my piles of Halloween decorations. She's having nightmares about it, which is great. I super love getting woken up fourteen times a night to hear about a nightmare involving a fake hand. o_O

You would think my children would be nicer. After all, I just spent all of their Christmas gift money on getting my teeth fixed. If they don't start being nicer, they're both getting a fake hand for Christmas.