At Least She Had Fun

The whole point of going to Chicago for a few days was to attend a cheer competition, so I suppose it makes sense that I should mention said cheer competition. Except, it was a CHEER COMPETITION. If there is a place on this earth where I probably don't belong, that's it.

I mean ... cheerleaders. Hundreds and hundreds of cheerleaders. They have big hair and they dip themselves in glitter and ... wow. It's not my thing.

It is so very much Alexis' thing, though. I mean, look at the kid. She was born for the sparkle and pep.

Terrible photo, I know, but SHE IS SO HAPPY.

Except, welp, they didn't place at Nationals this year. Last year they walked away the champions, but this year, despite putting on a great performance, they walked away empty-handed.

You can't win them all.

But there's an important thing that comes of all things cheer. Alexis loves to tumble. She especially loves back tucks, in part because she does this freakish thing where she gets REAL high and she hangs upside down for a very long second. No joke. It's a thing that every coach she's ever had has commented on and a few have tried to break her of doing. It doesn't work, though. The kid just hangs upside-down. And she LOVES it because she knows it drives me crazy.

She's upside-down long enough to stop and drink a cup of tea. While she's there, she could probably solve world hunger. Mila has three birthdays faster than Alexis returns to her feet. The kid hangs upside-down FOREVER.

Laughing the whole time.

Because she knows I'm bugging out.

Which, really, why else do kids exist if not to push our buttons and find creative ways to make parents freak out?

Your Olympic Champion in Not Sleeping is ... ME

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!

Let's go back to the beginning, shall we? In the beginning, there was a baby girl who didn't need sleep. Like, genuinely. That girl was a night owl and a morning person and sleep? PSHAW. She didn't need sleep. She grew up to be an Alexis and that Alexis still doesn't need sleep.

Seriously. She's cool with 6 hours every night. That's her ideal.

She sucked me into her sleepless world for years. I fought and fought with her when she was little because I do need sleep. I think it's cruel and unnecessary to wake a person up before the sun rises and I most certainly don't see a reason to be awake between midnight and 7:00 am. Especially not every 2-3 hours.

Alexis, though. That girl made it her job to wake me up early, often, and repeatedly. I'm not holding it against her or anything, but I okay, yes, I am. I hold it against her ALL OF THE TIME. The kid trained me to not sleep and it's just dumb. I wake up involuntarily all of the time because of all of those years of dealing with her. The fact that the child ruined my ability to sleep comes up in conversation way more often than I'm willing to admit.

But now I know that she was just training me for this moment.

I left Chicago two days(?) ago for Bangkok for a work thing. The girls are continuing their vacation shenanigans while I attend very important meetings and blah, blah, blah. I have two points:

1. Anybody who goes to Bangkok for "fun" is insane because ZOMG is the travel brutal. It legit was 18 hours of flying time to get here, plus a layover in Tokyo and the train ride to the Chicago airport and all of that. The total amount of time I spent travelling was INSANE. There's also the matter of the time difference, which is 11 hours, which means day is night and night is day. I do not recommend any of it.

2. I'm fine. Totally fine. There are a few other people at the event who are from the United States and they are roaming the world in a zombie state because of jet lag. I'm not. As in, I'm so used to not getting real sleep at normal times that this is my natural state. I'm no more or less tired that I would be on any other Tuesday.

I've been training for this moment for the past 12 years.

Thanks, Alexis!

I Like How They Like Each Other