This Parenting Thing Is Weird Sometimes

It's such an odd thing to have your head in one space while your kids drag your mind into another. While I would have liked to spend the evening listening to Chester sing the words that tell me that it's okay to be sad about the passing of someone I've never met, Mila had other plans. The sadness will have to wait because bunnies.

So many bunnies.

We have a bunny problem this year. 

There have always been coyotes wandering around our back yard, and even in our yard, so bunny sightings have been few and far between. This year, though, something is different. I'm not sure if the coyotes have moved further away or what, but there are dozens of bunnies running around all over the place.

They're destroying my garden.

They chose wisely, these bunnies. Had they selected a meat eater's yard, I'd have to think their fate might be more questionable. They picked the crunchy "be nice to everyone, even those who don't deserve" it people, though. Thus, the bunnies roam free without the threat of violence.

(Okay, well, there are threats. There just won't be action.)

Separately, in the world where powerful voices go on forever, we have a different problem. The Easter Bunny kind of sucks around here. Though, it's a purposeful sort of suck because the children in this house are the most terrible lookers that ever looked. I cannot count the number of times that Alexis has flipped out trying to find a pair of shoes only for me to stare deeply into her eyes and mutter, "Do you mean the ones on your feet?" and YES, SHE DID. 

Mila is no better.

Thus, the Easter Bunny around here "hides" eggs in plain sight. They get tossed into the most obvious of places all over the yard because otherwise we'll be finding plastic eggs filled with foreign matter that maybe used to be candy well into the summer.

Or maybe we'll be finding it well into the summer anyway.

Okay, so, that one. That's the reality. I find another Easter egg at least once per week, despite the fact that there's no good reason for any of them to not be found on Easter morning.

A bunny problem.

A terrible Easter Bunny.

The two things seem to be completely unrelated, and they are. Unless you ask Mila.

Alas, on this day when sadness weighs heavy, a 3-year old cuts through the thoughts with a sentence. "It's so nice of the Easter Bunnies to keep bringing me eggs. See! There's another one in the yard now!"

You guys, I think maybe Mila maybe has been eating that candy that is potentially YEARS old.

Welcome to Our Robot Overlords

I am a sucker for random clearance treasures that are found along the back aisles at Target. They are irresistible, even when they're the most pointless of finds. If they're marked down 50% or more, it's as if they have my name written on them. "Buy me!" they call out.

Robot seahorses. $7. How can I not buy the robot seahorses?

(That link up there goes to them on Target.com, where they are not on clearance for $7, which just proves that buying them was a good life choice. Go me!)

So, I bought one and placed it on our kitchen counter. That led to Mila spending hours and hours watching it, tapping the container to wake it up, talking to it, and otherwise not burning the house down. I will happily pay a premium for things that keep that kid from burning the house down, so that $7 bargain quickly became THE BEST THING EVER OMG.

So, of course, I went and bought another one. If one is entertaining, two is even better. And it was true! Mila is still infatuated with her seahorses.

Buuuuut ... when I went to buy the second one, I thought about how it would be kind of cool if I had one for the pool. It would be entertaining to watch a little robot swim around the pool, right? Or, even better, WHAT IF I HAD A LITTLE FISHY?!?!

I totally found little fishies. For $2.00. 

I bought a few because, again, EXCELLENT LIFE CHOICES. I decided the itty bitty fishies would be super awesome in the pool instead of dive sticks. I envisioned gaggles of kids chasing them around and trying to catch them, which, for the record, is exactly what happened. There was much laughing and basically the little fish are the beeessssst.

Except for that one time that it was just Mila and Alexis in the pool. The little blue fishy managed to find its way under the pool ladder, so Alexis couldn't find it. She spent FOREVER hunting for it, all the while I had the pink and orange ones in my hand. They are almost neon in color, so they're super easy to see as they swim around the blue-bottomed pool. That blue one, though. Even when it wasn't hiding under the ladder, it was tough to see.

And, man, Alexis could NOT find the silly thing. I eventually decided it was going to turn into a $2 toy with a dead battery sitting at the bottom of the pool for months. I was okay with that. The only thing was that Alexis was getting frustrated, so I decided I'd give her a moment of victory and throw the other two back in. Bright neon! She would find them quickly!

She found the pink one almost immediately. The orange one, though. 

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE THE ORANGE ONE WENT.

It vanished into thin air, which made no sense whatsoever. It was easy to see! Except for when it wasn't. We searched under the ladder. We searched in the pool filters. We searched everywhere, but it was gone. So gone. 

So confusing. 

Eventually I declared it M.I.A. and told Alexis and Mila it was time to quit kicking around the pool. I would replace the fishy and blah, blah, blah.

There was a moment when Alexis was talking to me, super frustrated that she couldn't find TWO fish. She was making faces and generally acting a fool when suddenly she screamed bloody murder. You know the cute white girl who goes missing at the beginning of every horror flick? THAT SCREAM. That's the scream that came out of the kid's mouth.

The orange fishy found its way out of whatever hiding spot it had found and zoomed straight at Alexis' butt. Only, she didn't know it, so her reaction was to something suddenly ramming into her at top speed.

Mila and I laughed until we cried. Literally, we so greatly enjoyed Alexis' freak out that we couldn't speak and had tears running down our faces.

Best $2 ever? BEST $2 EVER.

10 Minutes to Change the World

Mila is like basically every other toddler/preschooler on this earth in that it takes approximately 18 hours to prepare her to go into the pool. By the time you find her swimsuit, change her, slap on some sunscreen, and drag out her floaties and such, the sun has set and the rest of the kids are ready to get out of the pool. (Yes, kids. Plural. Half the neighborhood ends up at our house frequently. It's the best.)

It's cool, though. She only asks to swim every single day.

And then she stays in the water for about 10 minutes.

So, if you're keeping score and wondering what it's like to parent a small child, remember that. You will spend ALL OF THE TIME preparing them for fun, and then they'll have fun for 10 minutes.

But it will be a REALLY good 10 minutes. For reals.