I'm Going to Need a Few Penguins, Please

Depending on who you ask and when, I'm a terrible mother. I'm the sort of terrible that has five fifth graders in her house overnight and then lets them hang out together for a while through the day and then says DONE! WE ARE DONE WITH THE BIRTHDAY EXTRAVAGANZA!

Yeah, so, Alexis would have liked to continue throwing a Me Party for a few more days. Alas, eventually it needs to be time to let Mila pick something fun to do. So I did.

She picked the zoo.

She always picks the zoo.

There's something about roaming around and looking at animals that speaks to the youngest member of the family, which is fine because when she's happy, I'm happy. It just so happens that I'm extra happy when we go to the zoo in the winter because there's basically nobody there. I only pretend to be able to cope with crowds, so it's pretty perfect.

Mila agrees, of course. She agrees because small crowds mean more freedom for her. If ever there was a kid who loves the idea of running around like crazy, she's the kid.

Unless there are penguins walking nearby.

I don't know what it is about the penguins marching outside that freaks Mila out so much, but she cannot have her feet on the ground when they're waddling around. She wants to watch them, but from a distance. A safely in her sister's arms distance.

Which, there it is. That is why I need some pet penguins to come live at our house. Not only are they adorable when they waddle around, but with them around, I get to watch Mila flip the script on the whole bird thing. It's Alexis who is absolutely petrified of birds (all birds - she has randomly always been scared of every bird under the sun). Yet, it's Alexis that Mila seeks out when the flightless birds unnerve her.

Sometimes You Just Have To Handle These Things Yourself

CAUTION: VERY PURPOSEFUL ATTEMPT AT IGNORING CURRENT EVENTS AHEAD.

(I have no idea how to ignore current events, but I'm going to pretend I do.) ($10 says it takes me over two hours to write something that could get done in 20 minutes if only focusing was a thing that was possible.) (ANYWAY.)

There was a birthday! For this kid!

I swear, if she doesn't stop looking so grown up, I'm going to ground her. I'm going to take away all of her electronics, too, because that seems fair.

Also fair is the fact that I totally ruined any and all plans for a birthday party. For real. There were party plans in place and then *POOF* I took them away.

Allow me to explain ... Miss Alexis began planning for her 11th birthday party about 13 seconds after she turned 10. Actually, it may have been before that because there was a time when she wrote out what her theme was going to be every birthday party of her entire childhood. That's not the point, though. The point is that she did a TON of planning, well in advance.

A part of that excessive planning was a day back in December when Alexis began working on her birthday party guest list. At school. I mention that "at school" party because BAD CHOICE, ALEXIS. Someone in her class saw what she was writing and said, "You forgot that you have to invite me." Then she proceeded to list other people that also had to be invited because if Rude Girl was going, she needed to bring her posse.

Part of her posse is the girl that haaaaaaaaates Alexis. It's not my story to tell, but the Adults Can See These Things version is that the girl is hella jealous of Alexis and channels a lot of her energy into finding reasons to tell everyone how terrible she is. It doesn't matter if her reasons are based on facts; she just walks around saying mean things.

Alexis, of course, wants to be friends with EVERYONE, so she can't just ignore people. She's over here being super nice to Hella Jealous Girl and over there telling Rude Girl, "SURE! I will invite you all!" and nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. All the nopes in Nopeville.

Nope.

Let the record show, I didn't shut down Alexis' plans to make all the world happy to her face. I just stopped helping her plan. A weird thing happened with that - Alexis stopped planning, too. I don't know if she was relieved to focus on other things or what, but the entire conversation just stopped.

Four days before her birthday, there was to be no party.

But then someone dropped the greatest idea ever in my lap.

An hour later, four of Alexis' friends were in on the surprise. They joined me at a pizza place on Alexis' birthday and then the kid who needs to quit growing up walked in. She had NO idea that I had invited her friends to dinner, a movie, and a sleepover. NO IDEA.

She went from moping around and telling people, "I guess I'm spending my birthday having dinner with my family" to having her squad right there yelling "SURPRISE!" in the middle of a restaurant.

Alexis declared it her best birthday ever. By miles. She gushed and gushed because she doesn't think I can ever possibly top the magic that was inviting her friends to dinner and surprising her.

Challenge accepted, Alexis.

(For those of you who are keeping score, 2 hours and 10 minutes. It should have been done in less than 20 minutes. SQUIRREL!)

Communist Pancakes

I have the Ukraine to thank for a lot of my favorite people and things. Mila's name immediately comes to mind. Long story, that.

A shorter story is the story Kate shared with me via email about the pancakes that her Ukrainian grandmother taught her to make.

My family is from the Ukraine and my grandma taught me to make pancakes that are moist and don't need butter or syrup and I pretty much won't eat eat the dry bread-y IHOP pancakes I've been referring to as American Pancakes for years. I don't have a RECIPE recipe because she never measured anything and so neither do I. There are 5 ingredients -- sour cream (of course, Ukraine), eggs, vanilla, sugar, and flour -- and you mix them all and add more sour cream or more flour until it "looks right." That's the best I can give you.

A few years ago, I asked my husband to get the kids ready in the morning because I was craving these pancakes and was going to make them for breakfast. He said, "can YOU get the kids ready and I'LL make pancakes?" I said, "I don't have a recipe, I just know when it's good." He said, "I'm sure I could find a recipe."

A few minutes later I saw what he was Googling. And what do you think he searched? "Communist pancakes." Yep. So now we all lovingly call them Communist Pancakes.

I tried a bunch of googling myself and never found something that seemed exactly right, but after some back-and-forthwith Kate and some experimenting, I think I have it figured out. So, here Google bots, here is your answer for what to say when someone is looking for "Communist Pancakes."

Communist Pancakes

3 eggs
1 cup sour cream
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 tablespoons granulated sugar (use more or less depending on what toppings you plan to use, if any)
3/4 cup flour

1. In a medium bowl, use a fork to scramble the eggs then add the sour cream, vanilla, and sugar. Mix well. Add the flour and finish mixing.

2. Preheat a frying pan (I used medium heat) and add a little oil (canola, vegetable, or corn). Use a tablespoon to place the batter in the pan. Make the pancakes small - like two inches across. Heat until the edges aren't shiny any more and then flip. They'll have a circle around the edge with the middle lightly browned. Let the flip side cook for a minute or so and then they're done.

3. I mentioned up above that the amount of sugar can vary. I'll let Kate explain that:

I said "if I don't use toppings" -- sometimes I just eat with my fingers once they're cool enough to handle. Sometimes I get the runny kind of jam that I don't even know if it's sold outside of Russian stores (there's a Ukrainian store on Main Street in Carnegie that I know sells a runny kind of cherry jam, and if you're in there try the cakes they sell by weight out of their fridge). And with the jam, another dollop of sour cream as a topping (but if I have heavy cream then I'll make some whipped cream instead of sour cream) So basically, jam topping = less sugar.

I tried them with 3 tablespoons of sugar and no toppings and found them to be perfect. Then I tried them with the same amount of sugar and a watered down apricot jam and found them to be more perfect. So, do with that what you will.

If you've got an immigrant recipe you'd like to share here, send me an email at burghbaby (at) gmail.com. I'd love to post it and keep the immigrant appreciation going.