It Took the Pens Winning the Cup for Me to Get a Family Photo

Fearless. Still.

For those of you keeping track, Admirality has taken the lead. You can, of course, change that if you'd like.

I don't know how to fix the entire world, but I know how to make a difference in this corner of the world. Right about now, making small differences feels necessary.

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I'm not a fan of reality shows. Whether or not they are actually based in reality is irrelevant; they feel faker than anything scripted to me. The whole thing where the villains are actually just being themselves hurts my head. I prefer to pretend there are no purposely bad people in this world.

(I know. I know ...)

Despite my lack of interest in reality shows, I think I would like to start one. It would star Mila on Thursday nights and would track her from the moment she sees the gymnastics building until an hour after her class when she finally stops screaming at me for forcing her to leave.

You guys, she's hilarious.

The second Mila saw the building, she started pointing and yelling, "GO THERE! THAT WAY! GOOOO!" so apparently she wanted to return? Maybe? I might have figured out her feeling by the yelling, but the fact that she threw her shoes off before she got out of the car confirmed it. From there she ran barefoot across the parking lot, with her usual lack of concern for cars, and plowed her way through a crowd to get to the entrance to the play area.

During class, she once again refused to participate in the stretching portion of the activities, insisted on bouncing on the trampoline as much as possible, and jumped from the top of every thing she could find laughing every time she fell.

She's a nut.

The highlight of this week, however, involved a zip line. So, I don't know, I suppose most two-year olds are smart enough to avoid such things. They're also probably smart enough to insist that a grown-up hold on to them while they hang from it. Maybe they ever let go before reaching the end of the zip line.

Guess who did none of those things.

The first time Mila tried the zip line, I grabbed her near the end and forced her to fall into the giant pit filled with squishy foam squares. She cackled with glee because falling is awesome when it doesn't hurt.

And then came Round Two.

I maybe sorta totally forgot to stop her. I maybe sorta didn't notice that the tape that usually stops the zip line before kids crash in to the wall was missing. I maybe sort of stood there staring as Mila went *SPLAT* right into the wall, after careening a good ten feet across the foam pit.

She slid down the wall, you guys. It was like watching a cartoon. When she was done sliding down the wall, she landed in the ball pit and promptly told me off. She doesn't know any swear words yet, so she invents her own and she used ALL of them as she told me how terrible I am.

There's wasn't a Round Three this week, but based on the fact that the kid was trying to do back handsprings on some big foam roller things, I'd bet that by next week she is done being mad that I failed her and will return to throwing herself from high places using a zip line. With any luck, I'll have video of the occasion.

Leaving Footprints

With one day left in the race, Pitter Patter is in the lead by $3. Want to make like Jalapeño Hannah and throw your purse at that? Please do.

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I didn't consider the mortality of parents until 5th grade. It was 5th grade when a classmate suddenly lost his mom to Toxic Shock Syndrome. Everything about the situation was terrible, but what stuck for me was that in that instant, it became possible for anyone to lose a parent.

As she inches her way to the start of her 5th grade year, Alexis has already faced that reality twice. It has been about a year since a friend from one of her activities lost a parent to an unexpected stroke. Recently, another friend lost a parent. Both times it was the sort of thing where Alexis herself had seen the parent the day before they were gone, so she fully understood the unexpectedness of it all.

"She was fine yesterday," Alexis said in one of the cases.

There are a lot of conversations that have come from the situations. Good conversations, even if they were hard. But what has stuck for me is what was left after the fact. In both instances, I knew the names, but couldn't place the faces. In both instances, I made an effort to watch the obituaries for a photo so that I could connect things. In both instances, there wasn't one.

There were wonderful words about wonderful people, but no photographs.

So I did the very 2016 thing and looked around online. I was connected with one of the wonderful people via Facebook, so I dug through her account. Every post was a love story to her children, which really is a fantastic thing to leave behind. There was photo after photo of happy kids on days before their worlds shattered.

There wasn't a single photo of the mom. There wasn't one of her with her kids, one of her alone, nothing. I later learned that it was purposeful -- the woman had gained some weight in the days since she became a mom so she purposely avoided photos. There were a couple of family photos with her in them, but no silly selfies or crazy beach vacation photos or even something from a recent Disney vacation.

A very similar situation had occurred with the other wonderful person., except that time there weren't even family photos.

Two people weren't happy with their appearance, so they didn't allow it to be captured forever. And now they're gone.

Let's all go take silly selfies with our kids today, okay?