Always in a Hurry

In less than two weeks, Mila will be two years old. That's about two years and two weeks before I'll be ready for her to officially leave the "baby stage" behind, so of course she decided to go ahead and prove her point by suddenly getting taller. One day she was comfortably smooshed into her infant car seat; the next her head was kissing the eviction line.

And thus began the search for a new car seat. Which, that should have been an easy task. Alas, my good friends at Target decided to be a giant ball of pain in the butt because they refused to honor their own sale prices, but whatever. Eventually I found my way around the incompetence.

The fact that Mila's head was kissing the eviction line had me all set to install her new car seat this weekend. It was a most excellent plan.

Except.

Well.

I guess maybe Mila was in a hurry? I don't know. I just know that as I was pulling into the parking lot to pick Alexis up after school, I heard a weird noise from the back seat and then some yelling. Mila was MAD. She was justified in her mad because there were half-digested yogurt-covered raisins EVERYWHERE OMG WHYYYYYYY.

I shall spare you the description of the disaster I found all over Mila and her baby car seat. Mostly I'll spare you because I don't want to think about what I had to deal with for even one more second. It was frightening.

There's only one thing to do after your baby (she's still a baby!) tries to redecorate your car and that is to pull everything apart and take the hose to it. So I did that. I tore everything out of the back seat and I stood at the back of our yard spraying the gross away.

While Mila jumped on the trampoline.

It was her idea. I don't know, call me crazy, but I feel like if I'm spraying your fresh puke out of my car, maybe you shouldn't be bouncing like a rubber ball? UNLESS YOU DID IT ON PURPOSE BECAUSE YOU WANTED A BIG GIRL CAR SEAT I AM ON TO YOU, MILA.

Ugh. Big girls are smart.

It's All Backwards

In theory, I know better than to attach expectations to a date. That means that, in theory, I'm not ruffled by toys all over the floor, crumbs all over the kitchen counter, and CHEESE AND CRACKERS, MILA. COULD YOU LET ME SLEEP JUST ONCE.

Ahem.

Sometimes managing expectations is about throwing your cards on the table and yelling, "Let's go to Kennywood."

So that's how we spent Mother's Day.

For the third (or fourth? I forget) year in a row, we have season passes. Black Friday sales are the best thing ever, especially when I can take advantage of them from my laptop. Not talking to people is the icing on the discount cake.

Alexis, being the pro that she is, rides every single thing at Kennywood, often with a yawn and a "is that the best they can do?" There is nothing that strikes fear in her heart, not even my face when she makes me ride the Black Widow and I want to throw up. I've told her that when I throw up, I'm pointing it in her general direction, but she just smiles and throws her hands up in the air.

While we're on the topic of Alexis being completely fearless while on amusement park rides, can we talk about the fact that she's scared of actual life a whole lot of the time? Don't ask her to ride her bicycle without a helmet because MOM, THAT'S SO DANGEROUS. If she could, Alexis would go through life wearing a fully functional protective suit made out of bubble wrap and fireproof material.

The other kid, however, is a COMPLETELY different story. She's why the world needs to be wrapped in bubble wrap and I'm absolutely certain fireproof material exists to save us all from Hurricane Mila. She's dangerous, is what I'm saying. She's the kid who crawled to the top of the piano before she learned to walk. She's the kid who flies up and down the stairs as if she's been doing it her whole life. She's also the kid who I am constantly fussing at to stop hanging on the chandelier.

Seriously.

Every morning that girl climbs on top of the kitchen table and tries to swing from the chandelier. Every. Single. Morning.

Now go ahead and guess who hates rides. Actual amusement park rides that are meant to thrill and delight instead cause misery and sadness.

She super hates everything.

Except the swings. She would really like to ride the swings. Alas, she's too short. That means she stares at them longingly while refusing to go near anything else.

Kids, man. They most certainly keep things interesting.

Gooey Chocolate Chip Pecan Bars

It has recently occurred to me that I was a pretty fantastic babysitter way back in the day. Not only did I manage to keep a lot of kids from committing any felonies, I also took on the added mission of cleaning up many a kitchen and baking lots of good stuff before cleaning up the kitchen again.

I don't know why I did it, other than it was a good way to pass the time, especially after the kids went to bed. Right about now, I could super use a babysitting fairy who also cleans, especially one that charges $1 per hour per kid. No wonder I was busy every single weekend.

Between tackling piles of dishes, I often made a chocolate chip toffee bar thing. I think the recipe was in one of those little paperback recipe books that are sold at the checkout line at the grocery store. I've been trying to find it or replicate it somehow for YEARS. And yet, I've never managed.

I've come close, though.

Like, this is close. It's not quite right, but it's pretty darn fantastic in its own right.

Gooey Chocolate Chip Pecan Bars

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2/3 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
3/4 cup butter (cold) 
1 large egg, beaten
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
1 cup pecan halves
2 cups chocolate chips, divided
1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Spray a 9x13" glass baking pan with nonstick spray.

2.  In a large mixing bowl, stir together the flour and brown sugar.

3. Toss the butter in the mixing bowl. Mash it together with the flour and brown sugar using your hands. You want it to stay crumbly.

4. Stir in the egg and peanut butter. It should still be crumbly.

5. Stir in the pecan halves.

6. I said you need 2 cups of chocolate chips, but right now you only want to use 1 1/2 cups of them. Stir them in and set the remaining 1/2 cup aside.

7. Scoop out 1 1/2 cups of the mixture in your bowl. Set it aside.

8. Place the rest of it in your baking dish. Pat everything down and make a nice crust.

9. Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes.

10. Pull the baking happy stuff out of the oven and pour the sweetened condensed milk over it. Then sprinkle the remaining mixture on top. Then sprinkle the remaining chocolate chips on top.

11. Bake for an additional 25-30 minutes, or until lightly browned.

12. Allow to cool completely before cutting, but make sure to score the edges after letting it cool for about ten minutes.

13. Say hello to your new little friend.