Clean Up in Aisle ... Just Burn the Whole Store Down

One of my worst sins is that I suck at getting out of bed. I can set 15 alarms, but there is no doubt that I will ignore every one of them and finally get out of bed 15 minutes later than I really should.

That is why I was surprised when I sprung awake and jumped out of bed at 1:00 am this morning. If you're a twitter person, you already know why. I sprung out of bed because apparently I was exposed to kryptonite. After years of having my superpower be the ability to not be around when a kid puked, that sound is unmistakable. My happy streak ended with a very terrible situation.

Oh, did I not mention that Mila was laying on me when she got sick? Because of course she was.

That was the start of a very challenging night. We went through three sets of sheets, four pair of pajamas, and everybody was unhappy. Needless to say, a bad night turned into a sick day and little miss Mila spent nearly the entire day curled up in my lap sleeping.

The trick, though, was that while she obviously didn't feel well, the belly stuff seemed to have ended early in the morning. She was drinking water and eating crackers and she seemed to be on the right path. Just tired and feverish.

So I did what I had to do and put a not well toddler in her carseat and drove to pick up her sister. I wasn't coherent enough to change Alexis' bus situation with a note in the morning, so she was at her after-school program. Mila and I drove over and Mila was soooo excited to see her sister.

The situation being what it was, we quickly stopped at the grocery store while we were already out of the house. Pedialyte seemed like a good idea plus I knew I wasn't going to cook dinner for Alexis. She needed to fend for herself.

We ran in and everything seemed fine. Mila was more chipper than she had been all day. HOORAY!

But then.

Well, let's just say I won't be buying strawberry yogurt anytime soon. The smell. I just can't.

And that is the story as to why our little local grocery store will have to be burned to the ground. It's really the only way to recover from the disaster that occurred in vegetable aisle.

Big Questions and No Answers

"Mom, will Jacob have to move away?"

Jacob (not his real name, of course) is a recurring character in the stories that Alexis tells. He was her first crush, but then she didn't like him, but then she did, and then she didn't, but now they're friends, or maybe they're not? I can't really keep track of these sorts of things. He's a football player who sometimes brags about being a football player, but it's okay that he brags because he's just trying to impress the cheerleader. She thinks it's cute that he wants to impress her.

"Why would Jacob move away?" I asked. I was truly confused and thought maybe Alexis was too. Another kid recently moved so maybe she had the two mixed up?

No.

"Because that man says he has to," she continued.

Maybe you've figured out where this is going, but I hadn't. It didn't become clear until the conversation continued.

"What man?" I asked.

"The guy who is might be the next President. He said all of the Muslims have to go away," she finished.

The air left the room as I stumbled in search of a response. Alexis, not realizing I was down for the count, continued. "I guess Ryan will have to leave, too, since he said Mexicans are bad people. Do you think Madison is Mexican? I hope she's not."

I had no answers. None. I wanted to promise my 10 year-old that nothing like that will ever happen, but I can't honestly make that promise right now. I'm hearing the same words that she's hearing, often directly from the man himself. Hate is a campaign promise and support for it is growing.

It just keeps going.

I hear them. I hear very intelligent people quietly and loudly saying that it's time for a change. I hear them when they say that they're tired of politicians politicking and they just want something different. 

I strongly believe in honoring different, but this is a time when it is not acceptable.

I recognize that there isn't just one man who is promoting a way of life that excludes people on the basis of nationality, religious beliefs, and sexual orientation, but there is only one who isn't trying to veil the hatred beneath several layers of "politicking." The implication is that he doesn't know it's wrong. If you hide your racism beneath layers of rhetoric and empty promises, there's at least a part of you that recognizes that racism isn't acceptable. If you don't hide it, you must feel it in your heart.

Suddenly we've got lots and lots of people walking around wearing racism like it's a badge of honor.

We've got kids -- plural because Alexis isn't the only kid asking these questions these days -- we've got kids who are worried about their friends who aren't white.

I can't promise that those friends are safe.

Trickery

95% of the time, Mila asks to go to sleep and then ... goes to sleep. It's a magical little routine that makes my heart sing because could she make my life any easier? Well, yeah, she could if she would STAY asleep all night, but that's a separate issue. Bedtime is easy.

Except for when it's not.

On the nights when Mila changes her mind about wanting to go to sleep, she does so in such spectacular fashion that all I can do is laugh. It's either that or cry. Obviously.

Her refusal to go to sleep starts out with trickery. She lays in my arms, very nearly out, and then shoots up. JUST KIDDING! LET'S PARTY! From there, she grabs from her I'm Not Going to Sleep Bag of Tricks.

Trick #1: READ! Somehow, some way, in the darkness of the night, Mila manages to reach into the abyss and find a book. Does she keep one in her diaper? It's possible because I swear she pulls the book out of her ass. It just appears and she demands that I read it.

Trick #2: Go fishing. Hey, did you know that I keep fish in my mouth? OR DO I? Mila is on a mission to find out. She sticks her sticky little fingers in my mouth and goes fishing for treasure. Oh, and if I move my face so that she can't reach? I AM THE WORST MOTHER EVER OMG.

Trick #3: Make demands. If annoying me isn't working out, telling me what to do surely will. "Get up!" she'll tell me. When I don't instantly pop out of the chair like a jack-in-the-box, she gives me sooooo much grief. "NOT NICE! Get up!" She's an impressive little drill sargent when she wants to be.

Trick #4: Ask for help. If I'm not budging, surely yelling for the Big Kid will help. "ALESSUSSS!" "Where's Alessusss?" Usually by that point, Alexis is already in bed, so she's zero help to Mila. That doesn't mean it isn't worth trying, though.

Trick #5: Repeat Trick #2. You never know if it might work better the second time around.

Trick #6: Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. I'm not sure if we're all clear about the fact that I'm Mila's mom, but she wants to make sure that we are. She can repeat the word mom over 100 times before she decides that it's worth testing out a new trick.

Trick #7: DRAMA TIME. If all else fails, it's time to bring on the drama. Sobbing as if actual pain is involved is the absolute best way to buy another few minutes. Tears fall, ear drums are shattered, and a very sad little person makes it crystal clear that she was right when she said she was sleepy.

About half the time the trickery ends with me giving up on everything and going downstairs to get some work done. I take Mila with me and she acts as if she's stunned that I'm not willing to sit in the dark and wait for her to fall asleep. When the path leads downstairs, she ends up falling asleep eventually. First she has to rearrange all of the furniture and use up a few boxes of tissues while wiping her nose over and over again.

The other half of the time, I interrupt the drama with a simple question.

"Mila, do you want to go to sleep?" I'll ask.

"Yes!" she'll reply and then promptly close her eyes and go to sleep. It's as if the entire episode never happened.