Hello.

It's not at all an exaggeration to say that Adele taught Mila the word "Hello." One day Mila didn't know the word, the next she was saying it back to Adele before Adele could croon, "It's me."

It's pretty much the most adorable thing ever. It's true. (There is video, but it's not GOOD video. Alas, Alexis has made it her mission in life to get GOOD video. We'll see what happens.)

With the discovery of the word "hello," Mila instantly realized its power. The two little syllables are certain to get smiles in the car. They're even more certain to get smiles in a store.

Any store.

Every store.

All. The. Time.

"Hello" has become Mila's mantra. Her brand, if you will. From the time we set foot in Target, for example, she has her Hello Face on and greets every person she encounters. She repeats herself every ten seconds the whole time we're there.

Hello!

Hello!

Hello!

Hello!

Hello!

The responses range from smiles to feigned deafness, but even the feigned deafness makes me laugh because I answer for the person who is too busy to enjoy a moment with a friendly toddler. When I answer, I do it with a bit of flare. "Hellloooooo!" I'll say.

Mila will mirror my inflection. Adding flare to her "Hello" is a surefire way to attract someone new to her conversation.

Hello!

Hello!

Hello!

Hello!

Hello!

Mila goes on and on, often smiling with glee when a stranger joins in on the conversation. Tiny is legitimately tickled that other people know her secret little word that makes people happy.

Last night, Mila and I had to do a Target run while Alexis danced her heart out at rehearsal. I somehow made it to the register with less than $10 worth of things, which MARK THE CALENDAR, PEOPLE. That's better than winning the lottery! And less likely to happen!

Anyway.

As we stood in line, Mila stood in the back of the shopping cart. Cooperation is not one of her life skills, so that was pretty much the safest place for her to be. From her station, she tried grabbing candy and magazines. She threw items I needed out of the cart. She basically did everything she could to make a simple task very complicated.

She also said, "Hello," to absolutely everyone.

And as we stood in that line, a 50-something year old woman turned, smiled, and returned the "Hello." As I watched, a single tear found its way to her eye before the woman turned to me and said, "You have no idea how much I needed that smile today."

She's right. I have no idea. But I suspect a certain feisty little toddler is onto something when she spends her time making people smile with her simple two syllables.

Hello.

Diapers. It's the Diapers. Probably.

I know you're never supposed to read the comments, but sometimes a flailing, cranky toddler has you up at 2:00 am and your common sense is smart enough to stay asleep. My brain without common sense does things like open up Facebook and read the comments and HOOBOY.

I learned two things:

1. There is a very real possibility that Mila's hives are being caused by her diapers. It appears that more than one parent is fighting the same battle, and everybody seems to have started having the problem within the past few weeks. Luvs changed something. I'm currently working on figuring out which diapers in our house are from before The Change and which ones cause the flailing, cranky toddler who wakes people up at 2:00 am.

Maybe I will figure it out. Maybe I won't. We shall see.

2. OMG. PEOPLE. READING COMMENTS BAD. BAD PEOPLE. COMMENTS. BAD.

Ahem.

At 2:00 am, while lacking common sense, I discovered that there are people who leave comments for diaper companies who have less than no common sense. They have negative common sense! It's possible!

Since I'm here to help and I happen to know there are a couple of people who read this space who are at the beginning of the fun that is spending all of your Starbucks money on diapers, I have some thoughts. A few opinions, if you will.

The first of my opinions is OMG STOOOOOOP WITH THINKING BRAND MATTERS. It's a diaper. You buy it for the sole purpose of catching poop as it shoots out of your preshusssss. Then you throw it away. I mean, if you want to buy the more expensive brands because they make you happy, go ahead and do that. They aren't BETTER, though.

Wait, what? What's that? You swear there are better brands? PSHAW. It's a fit thing, yo. Alexis was best off with Pampers. Pampers are a disaster on Mila. I kind of doubt Pampers decided to start making junk diapers at some point in the past ten years. I don't doubt that Alexis was shaped very, very differently than Mila is. That might just make a difference.

A big difference.

My other opinion is that maaaaaaybe if you've posted photos of "foreign objects" in diaper after diaper in an attempt to convince the company that they're shipping diapers that have glass fragments, dead bugs, and all sorts of interesting things in them, maaaaaaaaaybe you need to find a new hobby. Sewing might be good. Yes, sewing. Make your own diapers.

My other, other opinion is that people who take photos of what happens when a diaper leaks and then post it to the internet suck. They suck almost as much as the people who take photos of their baby's rash and post it to the internet. All of the sucking! So many sucking photos!

ANYWAY.

I'll stop now.

I have a few hundred diapers to stare at so I can figure out which ones are evil and which ones are still welcome to do their job.

2015 in (Recipe) Review

2015 was the year when I forgot how to use my kitchen. It's true. The evidence is all through my archives. There are a full six weeks when I didn't post a recipe, and a bunch more where I rehashed a tried-and-true recipe.

And yet! And yet I did manage to post a few things that stood out! Here is a recap of the ten most viewed recipes posted in this space in 2015.

The Tofu Games

I've been slowly upping my tofu game the past few years, and the evidence shows it. All three of these are recipes that have "stuck" in our rotation. (Everybody has a rotation, right? About 10 recipes that they tend to stick to? I know I do.)

1. Sweet and Sour Tofu.

2. Grilled Tofu Tacos.

3. Quick (Not) Beef and Broccoli.

Does It Even Count?

When it comes to recipes that aren't really recipes but more like "things I tend to throw together quickly all of the time, there were the ones that stood out in this space this year.

1. Tortellini with Parmesan Tomato Sauce. (I make this all. of. the. time. Weekly, at minimum.)

2. Monkey Bread.

3. Beans with Corn and Cilantro.

4. Sun-Dried Tomato, Pesto, and Mozzarella Sandwich.

The Desserts

If we're being honest, desserts are my jam. I can magically conjure up something out of next to nothing, and often do. Because dessert. Life is better with dessert in it.

1. Baked Apple Cinnamon Donuts.

2. No-Bake Lemon Creme Oreo Cheesecakes.

3. Oreo Dip.

4. Five Ways to Make S'mores More Magical.