We Were So Close to Ruining Her Life

Alexis started with the harassment super early in life.

"I want a brother or sister."

"When can I have a brother or sister?"

"I neeeeeeeed a brother."

"My life is a complete disaster because you have not delivered on that sister I requested several years ago."

She may not have exactly said all of those things, but she came real close.

It's going to be a few years before I tell Alexis about how those constant questions and demands cut straight to the core. Right now she doesn't need to know that she was stabbing at a sore spot. All that matters is that she swore she wasn't meant to be an only child.

She was correct, of course. She definitely wasn't mean to be an only child.

I mean, seriously.

Every day I'm thankful that Alexis continuously proves that she's better as part of a set.

To Remember

Parenting is full of rewarding moments. Some of them are easier to explain that others. There's the day that your kid excels on the field and you get to yell, "That's MY girl!" There's the day that they do well on something at school. Lots of things. Obvious things.

But then there are those little things that you can't really explain. Life would be complete without those little things, but they make life a bit more completer. (It's definitely a word.)

One of the best of those little moments happened with Mila the other day. There's no video or photos to lock up the memory so that I can hold it tight, but I suppose that's what this space is for. It's here so I can try to put words to those little things.

Not that words can describe that moment. They can't.

But if I were to try to wrap the English language around sixty seconds that I hope stay with me for a long time, I would start by using words to describe how tiny little Mila is addicted to napping in my arms. She can nap in many other places, but in my arms is her drug of choice. She curls up in a tiny little ball, gently rests her eyelashes on her cheeks, and drifts away. Her little breaths come softly as her tiny fingers wrap around the neckline of my shirt.

Naps are pretty fantastic.

But this particular nap was better than fantastic. I don't know what was happening between those tiny ears, but it must have been some sort of happy dream. A little smile spread across Mila's face, even as her eyelashes continued to rest on her cheeks. As the smile began to fade, her lips spread and she softly whispered, "Momma."

They were the two most perfect syllables ever uttered. The danced through the air filled with emotion. Do babies know what love is? I'm not sure, but I know those two syllables were filled to the brim with love and adoration.

Then she smiled again.

Then she repeated the best two syllables.

And then another smile.

Around the third or fourth time that the corners of her mouth crept upwards, Mila's eyelashes fluttered. She gazed up, locked eyes with me, and continued the dance between saying "Momma" and softly smiling.

And then it was done. Just as suddenly as the moment started, it ended. The eyelashes went back to resting, Mila's breathing fell into a restful cadence, and she fell silent.

It was as if it had never happened, but it did happen. And I will remember it.

Selfies of Your Dog Otis

It's not often that I write these words, in no small part because I think things through fooooorrrreeeevvvvveeeerrrr before forming an opinion, but here it is: I was wrong.

Totally wrong.

Totally and completely wrong.

Yep. I was.

I have spent the past several years thinking selfies are the stupidest thing to ever stupid. I now take it back.

Mostly. I can't quite entirely take it back for two reasons:

1. It seems that a whole bunch of people seem to think that the words "selfie" and "photo" are interchangeable. STOP THAT. A selfie is a photo of yourself that your took yourself. See that? SELF. It's right there in the name! Your dog does not take selfies, kids. Every time you post a photo that you took of your dog and say "Otis selfie!" I have to punch a fluffy kitten.

Kiara does not appreciate what you're making me do.

2. I was kinda right about some people who are selfie whores. You know that super gorgeous woman who posts beautiful selfies three times a day every single day? I've met her. In person. She's REALLY good at finding flattering angles and using filters on her photos. She is absolutely posting those carefully edited and perfected photos of herself so that you will compliment her because HOOBOY that's not what she really looks like.

Ahem.

And the second point there is what I previously thought about all selfies. I thought they were mostly MEEEEEEE! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!!!!! photos, but without the caption that made it clear that people were going there and doing that.

Sometimes that's true. But, sometimes it's not.

I recently discovered that sometimes it's not because Alexis and a crew of her friends straightened me out. I was teasing the group about their gratuitous selfie posting on Instagram. Basically Alexis' entire grade is on Instagram. They all follow me, so I follow them back. I love to lurk in their timelines and see what they're saying to each other. The good news is that they really are consistently super nice to one another. The bad news is selfie after selfie after selfie OMG STOP TAKING PHOTOS OF YOURSELF.

I said as much to a big group of them and then had to explain myself. I said that I think selfies are self-centered and just people wanting attention. How many times do you need to take a photo of your outfit and fish for compliments, you know?

It was about three minutes into the conversation that I was corrected.

"BUT MOOOOOM. I don't take pictures of myself so that people will compliment me. I take them so I remember how fun it was doing whatever and that I did it with whoever and that sort of thing. I take selfies so I remember that I was there!"

Go ahead and guess which kid said that. There's a solid hint in that paragraph.

It doesn't matter which kid said it, though. What matters is that a whole bunch of the kids chimed in to agree. It seems that they take selfies so that they will remember how they felt that day or how much fun they had or whatever.

That's not self-centered. I mean, maybe it is, but it's the exact reason I blog. I write to remember. The kids said they selfie to remember.

It's not about how cute she looked in that dress. It's about how she felt when she was wearing a cute dress.

It's not about how good he is at football. It's about remembering how much fun he had when he played in that game.

And so on.

So, I was wrong. Selfies aren't an act of the self-centered. They're actually kind of cool.

Which is exactly why I've been taking more of them.

A photo posted by Burgh Baby (@burghbaby) on Jul 17, 2015 at 9:11pm PDT