Stand Up

Until people who are not directly in the line of fire speak up and take a stand, nothing will change.

We've known that for a while. When it comes to equality for everyone regardless of color, race, national origin, sex, sexual orientation, religion, age, etc., we know that the majority has to speak up and say "that's not OK" before anything can change. The minority can't cause the change. The majority has to.

That means that if you are Caucasian and you read this story and think, "That's not right," you have to say something. It seems pretty obvious that the color of your skin shouldn't be a factor in your punishment, but the reality is that sometimes black kids are punished more harshly than white kids. The majority has to say "that's not OK" out loud. If we don't, nothing will change.

Similarly, we all know that women are paid less than men for doing the same work. Women alone can't change that. Glass ceilings are still a real thing, so we need the majority to stand up and say "that's not OK." Until the white men who are paid more join the chorus of dissatisfaction and do what they can to implement change, things will stay just the way they are. We need the majority to speak up.

While they aren't a protected class, the same holds true for victims of domestic violence. 24% of women report that they have experienced domestic violence. That means the 76% who have just plain lucked out and not experienced it have to speak up. They have to say "this is not OK." More so, the 89% of men who have not experienced domestic violence in a relationship have to join the chorus and scream, "this is not OK."

It is pure luck if you end up as part of the majority, by the way. Pure. Dumb. Luck.

Domestic violence doesn't discriminate based on age, socio-economic background, intelligence, etc. It can happen to anyone. Just ask Janay Palmer if she expected to be beaten until she was unconscious when she let Ray Rice put a very expensive ring on her finger.

Ray Rice's employer didn't think it was a big deal that he beat his then fiancée. After a slap on the wrist, he is keeping his job. Would you or I keep our jobs if we committed the same crime? I'm not sure. What I am sure about is that it's not OK that domestic violence continues to be largely acceptable. We all just look away and think "well, that's not my problem."

Until people who are not directly in the line of fire speak up and take a stand, nothing will change. Janay Palmer can't stop domestic violence. It's those of us who have never been affected that can. We have to speak up, stand tall, and be loud. We have to support the organizations that are the front lines in the fight against domestic violence.

We have to care.

We have to care even when we don't stand to directly gain anything. We have to care when it's someone else's nightmare. We have to care about the kids who are just along for the ride, even if we've never met them.

Those are the kids who need help so that they can break the cycle of violence.

Whether they like it or not, it's almost time for those kids who are bystanders in a violent situation to return to school. We can't fix all of their challenges, but we can work together to send them crayons, pencils, backpacks, and all of those basic needs so that they can go back to school prepared to learn.

Last year, we worked together to supply about 50 kids with the things they needed for school. Let's do that again, please?

Here's the Amazon Wishlist.

Here's the PayPal account.

No matter which way you choose to pitch in, everything will go to Center for Victims.

If you have any questions, drop me an email at burghbaby (at) gmail.com.

Thanks again for all of your help.

<form action="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr" method="post" target="_top">
<input type="hidden" name="cmd" value="_s-xclick">
<input type="hidden" name="hosted_button_id" value="2CJCLNWEVJZ5N">
<input type="image" src="https://www.paypalobjects.com/en_US/i/btn/btn_donateCC_LG.gif" border="0" name="submit" alt="PayPal - The safer, easier way to pay online!">
<img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.paypalobjects.com/en_US/i/scr/pixel.gif" width="1" height="1">
</form>

Baby Vs. Fuzzy Friends

There have been lots of questions about how Alexis is coping with becoming a big sister, but nobody has asked about the cats and dogs. Which, WTH, Internet? It's like you don't care about cats! But I know that can't be true!

So I will answer the question that hasn't been asked, one fuzzy critter at a time.

Cody.

Cody perpetually is too excited about being alive to notice that there are people and things around him. He! Is! Just! Always! So! Happy! And! Doesn't! Know! Why!

That extends to Mila. He hasn't even noticed she's here because he has things to wiggle his tail about everywhere he goes.

Penny.

Oh, Penny. She has been recognized as Most Likely To Piss Me Off for her mad skills when it comes to checking countertops and garbage cans for food. Guess what else she checks for food? Mila, of course. Every single time Penny discovers that Mila is within sniffing range, she checks her head-to-toe for crumbs.

It's possible that she cops a lick each time, just in case something is there that she can't smell.

Max.

Max has Alexis, so he really doesn't care if there are any smaller people in the house. If Mila ever decides to pay attention to Max and pet him, he will ditch Alexis like a bad habit. Until then, he is dedicated to his 8 year-old girl. And anyone else who wants to pay attention to him.

Kiara.

Kiara is mostly grateful that I seem to have forgotten how much fun it is to dress her up in tiny clothing. She's wrong about that, of course. I never forget these things. She's also grateful that Mila brought new furniture and things that spin with her. The crib is a favorite climbing place and it has a fun spinny mobile hanging above it.

For now.

I expect to find that Kiara has ripped the mobile down any second now.

Ali.

Ali Cat is scared of nearly every inanimate object under the sun, so OF COURSE she is petrified of Mila. I mean, IT MAKES NOISE, YOU GUYS. AND IT MOVES.

That's exactly what runs through the little cat's head every day because she rediscovers these facts daily. She's a few crayons short of a rainbow, so she seemingly forgets. IT MAKES NOISE. AND IT MOVES.

Tomorrow she will have the same thoughts. They're accompanied by her running off and hiding for an hour or two.

Amazing how much a nonmobile 12-pound human can do to turn everyone's life upside down.

Nobody Cares

It kind of blows my mind, but absolutely nothing has changed with the rhetoric around breastfeeding in the eight years between the girls. Eight years ago we were discussing how very hard it is to breastfeed, we were shaming moms who rely on formula, and we were arguing about whether or not it's OK to feed a baby in public.

We still have all of those same things. The same words get passed around, like some ridiculous game of Pong that just won't end.

The thing is, we seem to focus on the negative. Always have, always will. I suppose that's in part because there is still stuff like this being said in public places:

(By the way, there's no need to go tell that Pittsburgher to take a chill pill. She already self-diagnosed the real problem.)

But I think all of the rhetoric that never stops ignores one thing: it's not always drama and hardship. For every person who tweets something like that up there, there are 100 people who just plain don't care.

I mean that in the best way possible, by the way. There are a whole lot of people who don't care if you feed your baby in public. They don't say a word. They don't stare. They don't make faces. They just continue on with life, often not acknowledging that a baby is eating.

During Mila's short life, she has dined on a bench at Kennywood.

Nobody cared.

She has grabbed a quick snack at Target.

Nobody cared.

She has enjoyed a leisurely lunch at Starbucks.

Nobody cared.

Mila has worked her way through a multi-course meal in literally dozens of parking lots.

Nobody cared.

She eats 7-8 times per day each and every day, often in public, but not a single person has made a remark, looked uncomfortable, or even acknowledged that she was eating.

It's not always an uphill battle.