Some Things Need To Be Genetic, Please

I'm dancing a very deliberate and careful waltz this summer. Time needs to be used as wisely as possible, but money is short. One step this way, a shimmy that way, a little dip here and there. It's all in the interest of making this a fun summer for Alexis while dealing with that thing that is the worst maternity leave policies in the world.

I've been wearing my the ridges off of my thumbs as I text various people for play dates. There are a couple of camps planned. We're making the most of the memberships and season passes we purchased months and months ago.

But still, there are gaps. I could let Alexis fill it with television, but lately she has been operating with a malfunctioning mouth filter. It seems her brain knows she shouldn't say some things out loud. Yet, her moth doesn't get the SHUT UP message, so she blathers on stupidly and gets herself in trouble. Television is always the first thing cut when that happens.

So it occurred to me that maybe I could acquire a few workbooks. Maybe Alexis could do some math and writing and whatever. Perhaps we can fill an hour or so with school work each day?

Surely Alexis would think it was the worst idea ever, but at least the time would be productive.

As we pulled into the bookstore parking lot, I spilled the beans and told Alexis what we were doing. "Hey, we're going to run in and pick a couple of workbooks for you to do all summer," I said.

"You mean like a math workbook?" she asked.

"Yeah, maybe a math one and a spelling one?" I replied.

The kid squealed with delight. Seriously. "Yaaaaay! Can I get three?" she gushed.

"We'll see," I said while searching the parking lot for hidden cameras. What kid gets excited about doing schoolwork during summer break?

"This is the best day ever!" Alexis said. She says that a lot, so I know the standards are a little low, but still. "Momma, you're the best!" she continued. She gushed on and on and on all the way to the workbook aisle. Then she turned her attention to carefully perusing every choice before settling on the two that she thought would be the most interesting.

Four hours later, she was on page 28 of the first workbook. I had to take it away from her so she didn't burn through the whole thing in one night.

So far Mila and Alexis couldn't possibly be more different, but it sure would be swell if Mila were decide to be a nerd like her big sister.

70s Flashback

There is much debate in this house about who Mila most resembles. Because I like you, let me just make sure you know one thing -- Mila does NOT look like Alexis. Period. End of story. Saying otherwise to the resident 8-year old is risky. She may glare at you, in which case, good for you. Her usual punishment for suggesting such a horrifying thing is much, much worse.

She knows all of the lyrics to pretty much every annoying pop song ever. Keep that in mind before you decide to gamble with your life.

(Personally, I see similarities between the two of them, but they really don't look alike. They look like they're related, sure, but not the same.)

Curiosity led me to pull out some old photos, which turned out to be Alexis' most favorite thing of all time. She started by looking at a baby photo of the husband.

We've established that Alexis is a smart ass, right? Because she is. As soon as she was done gushing about how much she looks like him (she does), she blurted out, "Mom, dad is so old that his baby photo is from before there were color photos!"

I have no comment on that. Ahem.

Then it was time to dig out a photo of me.

First of all, I'd like to smack that photographer around a little bit. Don't take photos of babies from that angle, mmkay? You won't ever wonder if there were any bears in that newborn cave. Straight on is a better, less-up-the-nose-tacular angle.

Secondly, full color! Ahem.

Lastly, the jury is still out on whether or not Mila looks like me.

But the jury is quite certain that matching sweaters are a terrible idea.

Falling for Her

I've never really understood matters of the heart, so I don't know if it's just the way It Is or if life broke something that I never knew existed. I just know that love comes easily, but being in love requires something big.

From the moment I knew she was a thing, I loved Alexis. I fulfilled her every need and protected her with all that I had. But, I didn't fall in love with her until she was a few months old. I remember the exact moment it happened -- it was the moment when I could see that she was kind, compassionate, and funny. Those are the words that belong in every chapter of her life because they describe her soul. That will never change.

It wasn't anything that she did that caused me to finally fall in love. Rather, it was a glimmer in her eyes that revealed her story. It was just a moment. A glimpse. So far, she is everything that I thought she would be. Sometimes, she's even more.

With Mila, everything is a little bit harder. With age comes wisdom. Time gives life a chance to show you everything it can be -- for better or for worse. Bad things happen to good people. I've known that since the beginning of time so I feared bad things with Alexis, but now those fears are more experienced. They poke deeper and know exactly where it hurts the most, so the protective armor is deeper. Everything is pushed just a little further away, including the expectations of what comes next.

Loving Mila is easy. Being in love with her is more complicated.

But this girl ... she is strong. She is stubborn. With every breath she takes, with every little Gremlin noise she emits, with every funny face she makes, she's breaking down the walls. Brick-by-brick, they are tumbling down.

It's just a matter of time.