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This is a Thumb, This is an Index Finger, and This is a Pinky--Wrap Him Around That One

What was once a little problem is quickly turning into a very BIG problem. My dear husband, let's call him Sucker for the purpose of this post, is weak. Very weak. I have known this for years and years. If I want something, all I have to do is bat an eyelash or two, generate some crocodile tears, or ask for it in a sweet little voice. Any of the aforementioned strategies will result in him immediately doing whatever it is that I want. I could say, "Buy me Canada," and he would do it.

I choose to use my power very sparingly. After all, if he buys me Canada, there probably won't be enough money left in the checking account for that Grande Nonfat Caramel Macchiato that I so desperately need a few times a week. And, well, without that Macchiato, everybody around me would be looking for a plane so that they could fly me over Canada and drop me out into the vast nothingness with the hope that I wouldn't find my way back home. With power comes responsibility. I understand that.

Alexis also possesses this power. And you better believe she knows it. Only, she doesn't use it sparingly. Oh no, she uses it endlessly. I'm home with her for over an hour before Sucker gets home and she never even so much as glances at the TV. Sucker walks through the door and suddenly you will hear, "I want Dora." Guess who Tivo's every single episode of Dora? And turns it on the second it's requested? Uh huh.

Later in the evening, just before bed time, I can guarantee you that Alexis will starting asking for monkeys. A "monkey" in our house is a package of corn syrup and sugar mixed with whatever chemical it is that allows tooth-rotting, hyper-inducing fruit snacks to take on their given shape. Once upon a time, the shape of choice was Curious George, so the nasty little things gained the name "monkey." Anyway, in my mind, fruit snacks would be the exact opposite of a good idea for a bedtime snack. So of course I say no whenever Alexis asks for them (the only reason I even buy them is to stash in the car and my purse for use in case of emergency). Sucker? He hands them right over.

Both situations are known annoyances. I nag, he does it anyway. However, Sucker has started to look over his shoulder as he caves in faster than you can say AHEM. That tells me he has actually heard a minuscule portion of my nagging and his brain is working towards figuring out a way to make his daughter happy without having his wife kill him. In other words, there might be hope.

Except, EXCEPT, that she is getting more creative in her use of her powers. She's like a little witch apprentice honing her skills. Case in point, last Sunday I got a call on my cell phone while I was rushing out to meet Jen. "Since when does she freak out for french fries when she sees McDonald's?"

I replied, "Since never."

"Really? Because she started freaking out that she wants french fries when I drove by."

Our conversation continued for a few minutes while I explained that she has never once asked for french fries when I drove past, and we HAVE to drive past to get to pretty much anywhere. Then it dawned on me that I should ask one very important question. "Where are you?"



(Of COURSE she has had Starbucks. What kid doesn't like Hot Cocoa?)

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Reader Comments (38)

Just you wait until she learns to say Macchiato. "Sucker" will never be able to say NO and Hyper Toddler will be on the loose in the neighborhood.

January 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

It must be hard, not knowing which female's wrath will be worse! By the way, I would like to thank your husband for not calling your cell while we were hanging out. So many people I know cannot go 1/2 hr without talking to their spouse on the cell when they are apart and it makes me crazy!

January 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I must have SUCKER written in big letters on my forehead! Punkin acts way worse for me than she does for her Daddy. And it's usually because I'll cave much faster than he does on some things.

Those hot cocoas are just a gateway drug you know. Next thing you know it'll be macchiatos and lattes. BTW, my kids don't like the hot cocoas because they're too, um, hot. Yeah, my kids are weird.

January 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMadame Queen

And Jen, amen to that. Kudos to your husband for showing the same restaint.

January 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby's Mom

Hot cocoa was absolutely my gateway drug. She'll have to wait about 20 years before I let her have any caffeine though.

January 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby's Mom

I don't have a gorgeous little princess like you do - but my twin sons have daddy all wrapped up ! It is beer and chips (crisps) here.

LOL - the last line is brilliant.

thanks for visiting me - I am not blessed except on mornings the boys have yet to feed . I wish ... maybe DH needs to go shopping for you for Valentine's day - keep you both h@ppy !

January 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbaby~amore'

Hi, I'm new to your site and enjoying your posts. Your daughter is just adorable. I just WISH my husband jumped to my every whim like that. When I bat my eyelashes, he rolls his eyes. He is definitely a sucker when it comes to our boys, though.

January 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

When we pass McDonalds, Gavin often says, "stop Mommy! We need chicken!" And he knows Starbucks=coffee for mommy (and a sweet drink for him as well). In fact, even with a raging ear infection, while dropping off his prescription at our Super Target complete with a Starbucks inside, he looked at me and said, "Mommy, we need coffee." But that's all he gets from me...starbucks or chicken nuggets. From Daddy, however? well, we won't go into that here. Although, maybe that's why Daddy gets all the cuddles... ;)

January 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterColleen

While it may not make your home life any easier--I think it is sweet he wants to make his little girl happy. Having said that- my hubby, he is the same way. Do I find it sweet in my own home? Heck no! When my daughter has 3 snacks and starts asking for me....I can't help but step in.

Hot cocoa- I want some!

January 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPam

too bad you can't use your super powers to combat hers...hmmmm.

January 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHRH

Oh, Sucker. I think this is a totally Daddy thing. Mine? Gets tantrums for the exact same thing.

haha love it!

Wait a minute. You get to go meet friends for coffee? Alone?


January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTootsie Farklepants

hmm, I think I identify with Sucker from this post. I'm pretty much the one that gives Hope everything while the hubs stand there shaking his head...

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

I think I am countin my blessings reading this post. Nat doesn't cave at all. If I have said no already, he will continue to say no.

And I am so with Tootsie. You get to meet friends alone?

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVeronica

Well, I guess there is always one parent who is more strict than the other. Ever thought of deleting all the Dora episodes? Nah, that would just make you REALLY mean mommy.


January 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwheelsonthebus

Little girls are SUPPOSED to wrap daddys around their pinkies. It's some kind of law of the universe that can't be broken or Canada will implode. My daughter, at 14, still has super powers with dad. Fortunately, she uses hers sparingly.

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFlea

Hi again! I just wanted to let you know, we are having some computer problems and I might not be online for a while.

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

The Starbucks photo is so cute. My kids (and myself) love hot chocolate after being outside in the cold! Have a great Friday!


January 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkimmy

Mr. Husband, after reading this post, requested that I change his name from "Sucker" to "Victim." He has a point.

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby's Mom

Bwahahahah! My husband is also a Sucker/Victim! I have used my powers sparingly, and I'm already prepping him for the Pumpkin. We've talked about "what is good for her" but we'll see what really happens as time goes on. You have made me very nervous...

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercaramama

What is it with daddies? When I cave it's because I am exhausted and spent and have no more energy to fight the good fight. When Jon caves it's because, well, he can. Dads are allowed to cave. It's cute for them to cave. And while I am all for having a husband who is so willing to make his kids happy, I wonder sometimes the lengths he will go.

Once again, your writing is WONDERFUL.

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCecily R

Oh yes. She has skills. Little cutie. It is too hard to say "no" to that face.
Every time my Tommy wants something he knows he is not supposed to have he starts with, "mumma, I lub you so much.". Little schmoozer.

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn

This is totally me and my hubby. And at 15 months, Hailey knows it. The other night hubby was trying to get her to go to bed- for about 2 minutes- and she didn't want to. So, he let her get up to play. Then asked me, "Why will she never go to bed for me?" Hmmmm.... I wonder.

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Oh the Starbuck travel hot coco!

Thatta girl!

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Fussy Fussypants

My nephew when he was about that age when the goldn arches whould come into sight would begin with "HI FRIES! HI FRIES! HI FRIES!" and then as my sister would drive by, "bye fries, byyyye frieees"

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Alexis is just perfecting her feminine wiles skills, she's very talented evidently. Victim didn't stand a chance, poor guy! :)

I just tagged you for a "think different" meme challenge, BTW. (Are you just shaking with excitement?) Come on over to my blog if you get a minute and check out the specifics, okay? This is just for fun, don't feel obligated, I know how busy the victim and Alexis keep you!

Have a great weekend and have a Macchiato for me, it's freezing here in Chicago!


January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLizzy in the Burbs

tee hee...what a delightful post. You can make the simplest things interesting. I love it. so funny! Your hubby is a sucker. :P

Have a great weekend!

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCorey~living and loving

I'm right with you Sucker...that's me too...So, so weak...

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJonny's Mommy

"Sucker" is the best nick-name for him.

We all have our sucker moments...but that little girl has CLEARLY got her Daddy wrapped around her little finger!

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLainey-Paney

what a great story! The kid is smart!

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterALF

Oh, what a cute picture. Miss Peach has discovered McDonald's fries...It's a battle, but I usually win!

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNap Warden

Love this story!! She is such a cutie!!

Hallie :-)

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWonderful World of Weiners

Kids are smart that way. Somehow, they just know who will cave in faster and is the easier one to manipulate.

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTot's Mom

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get over and visit. You can just say my brain has been mush lately. My husband's not the sucker but he thinks I am. Maybe I am a little. I got my oldest daughter a hot chocolate from Starbuck recently and now she wants one all the time. By the way, thanks a lot, now I'm dying to make a run to Starbucks. That's the worst part about all this mommy blogging. You people mention Starbucks WAY too much. Personally, I prefer the vanilla latte.

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDeb in OPKS

We can never let men know how to get the power us females have over them. hehehe! Have a great weekend!

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTammy

I live with a big fat sucker too.

January 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShellie

Okay, I'm not the brightest bulb. I just now got the last picture. LOL I think she's got you both wrapped around her little finger.

January 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

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