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Wanted: The Boy

For as long as I've lived in Pittsburgh (eight years), I've wanted to do the Just Ducky tour thing. If you aren't so fortunate to live near the fabulousness that is The Burgh, Just Ducky tours are this WAY fun looking thing where you ride around in a World War II amphibious vehicle, traversing across land and water as you see the sights and do lots of quacking. I can't really say that it's so much about seeing the sights for me as it is having an excuse to quack at random pedestrians as you ride around in a vehicle that is built for war. OK, so really I just want to quack at people without having them try to commit me to a mental hospital.


With the grandparents coming to town, I figured I might FINALLY get my chance at a little quack action. Mr. Husband not only looks grumpy all the time, he IS grumpy all the time and thinks quacking at people is just plain silly. I know, he's weird like that. But, when out-of-towners head our way, we always try to do a few "local" things like go to a museum or two or five, eat at a few restaurants that are unique to Pittsburgh, and generally do things that our guests can't do back at home. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the grandparents would want to do a Just Ducky tour, so I set it up.

I woke up this morning all sorts of excited because it was Quack Day. I picked out my best quacking clothes, made sure The Toddler was adequately trained to contribute to the quacking, and mentally prepared myself to quack like no woman has ever quacked before. This day was eight years in the making, and I planned to enjoy every second of the quackiness.

And then the monsoon hit.

No, really, it was a monsoon in Pittsburgh.

A couple of hours before our quacky departure, it started to rain. And rain. And pour. It was raining cats and dogs AND ferrets AND sheep AND even elephants. It was raining HAAAAARD.

No quacking for me. :-(

The rained out quack-a-thon left us scrambling to figure out alternate plans. You know what? Nothing says "local" and "Pittsburgh" and "PERFECT!" like Chuck E. Cheese. So that's what we did. We went to Chuck E. Cheese and spent about a quazillion tokens so The Toddler could get a Wonderful! Fabulous! Fantastic! prize valued at . . . $1.00. Maybe $1.05.

(For the record, that was more Mr. Husband than me. The man walked in, bought the quazillion tokens, then handed me about a dozen of them. He could hardly lift his little token cup he had so many, and he fully intended to Play! Play! Play! all in the name of procuring The Toddler a dream toy. I quacked his head off, so he ended up sharing a little more fairly.)

Towards the end of our grown-up play date, The Toddler finally discovered the giant hamster cage and went all sorts of crazy climbing up in those tubes and slinking her way all around the place. Along the way she met The Boy. He couldn't have been more than four years old. He was probably about 40 inches tall, had light-colored hair, and was a scrawny little thing. (The physical description will become important soon, I promise.)

The Toddler and The Boy instantly bonded and became great friends. They followed each other around all over the hamster tubes, crossing back and forth in the maze, chatting along the way. At one point, they settled into one of the cars that hung at the end of a tube path and sat down for a nice long chat. I didn't actually see them settle for a spell in the car, but it was called to my attention by Daddy O' Mr. Husband who so kindly pointed out that our dear sweet daughter was PARKED WITH A BOY. I shrugged it off with a little smirk since they were just sitting in that car, chatting and giggling and having a great old time. Like kids should.

It wasn't until later that The Toddler gave us the low down of the details of her time with The Boy. As we were driving away from Chuck E. Cheese, she said, "I got kiss at Shucky Cheese."

"You got a kiss at Chuck E. Cheese?" I asked in my best Clint Eastwood sort of voice.

"Yes, I got kiss. I got hug at Shucky Cheese, too!"

There's a warrant out for the arrest of that 40 inches tall, light-haired boy. Just bring him straight to me.

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Reader Comments (44)

Are we sure she wasn't kissed and hugged by that damn giant mouse? 'Cuz he'd be a heckuva lot easier to find, and I'd LOVE to get him the heck out of this desert!

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Sports Mama

I know a guy....

We went on one of those amphib-vehicle tours in San Diego last week. It was a lot of fun, and the Japanese tourists on board with us stole my kid for just about the entire ride. Yippee!

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBackpacking Dad

You can come up to Boston and quack away on one of those war vehicles!
Maybe you should (steal)borrow one of those vehicles and hunt the scrawny boy down!

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSue

What does one buy a toddler and her fiancee for a wedding present?

Hallie :)

Where are they registered? ;)

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAndreAnna

I've been wanting to do the Ducky tour for year, too. I think this summer I am going to take the kids. Too bad my "The Boy" wasn't there yesterday - he would have looked out for her and got that other "The Boy" for you.

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Awwww, look how cute your two kids are playing together so nicely. :)

I have to say though, I think I'd rather have her kissed than tossed overboard. I could see Micah doing that. "Get away from my steering wheel, wumman!"

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

It was a monsoon all right! At some point, we will maybe have a day without rain around here! Just Ducky tours are definitely a blast. I hope you get to go soon.

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Uh oh . . . put locks on your windows now! She'll be sneaking out before you know it . . .

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTranny Head

they have the quack thing in Baltimore too- I really wanted to do that while we were there!

The boy better watch his back now that he has Burgh on his case!

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPam

VERY funny! I was recently in DC and they have those ducky things there too. I thought they were neat and were we not so busy on our trip, I'd have tried to go on one of the tours as well.

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwendy

hmm. i guess that baseball bat i offered yesterday might be useful NOW.

sorry, though. it's still being used here. a certain teen reaches the age of dating consent on friday.

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthe planet of janet

well, hell. That was me. That's the 3 Musketeers hat,btw.

Okay it MAY have been my kid. Apparently he is becoming quite the Cassanova at school. Sorry.

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarmarbug

One more reason to avoid the house of mouse. So young! *sigh*

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFlea

lol. Ours didn't involve the Chuckmeister, but it did involve several months of trying to convince a 4 year old that she was NOT getting married anytime soon! (and luckily, he's the youngest son of a family friend, so she does still get to see him.)

Oh, and I don't think Tommy Too was in on the marriage plans...

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermumple

What a cute story. I hope you do get to do your duck tour because they are very fun. I have gone on them in here in San Diego, and in Branson, Missouri.

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Whitsitt Family

They have the quack tour in Ottawa and two years ago the stupid thing sank and four people died.

I'm sure there wasn't much quacking on that tour.

Wow, that was totally Debbie Downer of me wasn't it?

So on a happier note, do you think Alexis got a kiss because she flashed her diaper at "the boy."

Because this used to be Little Man's signature move when he was her age, and the girls went crazy for him. I'm thinking maybe he's been teaching his moves online or something.

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCatwoman

This is why we don't go to Chuck E Cheese well that and all my kids are horrifed of that RAT!

you totally should have snapped his photo IN THE CAR and then blogged it... What a little player, going around kissing unsuspecting and naive girls in CEC... Man oh Man do his parents have quite a path ahead of them...

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMisty

Chuck E. Cheese is the new lover's lane.

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTootsie Farklepants

No, No...not CEC.....awful....phewy, yuck, ugh.

No kid is banned from that place. Have you ever tried to climb up into those tubes? Well Big Daddy has, and it wasn't pretty. Especially to see a grown man crawling through a tube dragging a screaming little girl out. Not pretty at all I tell ya.

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVal

OH girl, you are in SO much trouble in about 10 years... or NOW apparently! ; )

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElaine A.

I want to quack at strangers! I totally want to do that! If I come up to the Burgh ever, you have to take me!

I will be on the look out for this boy!

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercaramama

Hmmm. I bet if you had quacked at the boy you would have scared him away right quick!

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeanne

Okay, first of all: The Just Ducky Tours are AMA.ZING! I went on the on in Boston, and fell in love. I mean, how can you not love something that drives on land then just goes and floats on water? Too cool.

That's hilarious that Alexis got action at Chuck E. Cheese!

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAllison Says

"I figured I might FINALLY get my chance at a little quack action."


I've been on a duck before in Branson, MO. Jealous much?

I sure an I glad I have one child who is truly terrified of being touched by other children. Although my other one, well he could be the random kissing bandit found in hamster cages.

Ahh, sweet innocence... Of course it's all gone now. Her youth wasted on drink and drugs. (apple juice and children's Tylenol) Yeah, the next time Dad tries to tease you with her exploits, jump in there first and tell him he should have been paying more attention and guarding her virtue at Chucky Cheese!

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered

We did Pedal Pittsburgh a few years ago in a group (the guided tour) and stopped by the stadiums. We spotted a Just Ducky tour out in the water.

We quacked at it.

It chased us.

That's my Just Ducky tale of adventure.

I have never heard of the Ducky Tour. You can bet that I'm going to suggest this to our Girl Scout troop leaders. If we rent it and there is space I will certainly let you know about it.

It looks like a blast!!

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMia

It's starting already eh. I keep telling my daughter that "boys are evil", but I don't think she believes me.

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTammy

Whew... for once, my kid is not the subject of an APB. Funny about those Duck Tours. I grew up in Boston and never once rode it either.

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBusyDad

I am so sad for you on not getting to ride in the Duck - so much so that I am going to check on airline prices to the Burgh because I now very badly want to ride in that thing.

And you, dear Momma, are in SO. MUCH. TROUBLE! At least you didn't catch them playing doctor!

Rained out, but I thought ducks loved rain?

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoltzie

Hahahaha! Ummm.. THIS is all I'm commenting. Hahahaha! (I'm going to be good!) ;-)


That Ducky Tour was in Baltimore too, and we wished we'd taken it when we were there visiting. Maybe we'll come to your neck of the woods and do it there!

Oh no!! Its starting you have a giant padlock and chain for her windows?

It may be because its late, but Shucky Cheese totally gave me the giggles.

July 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCecily R

I have lived in or near Pittsburgh all my life and I have ALWAYS wanted to do the duck tour. I used to see it in college all the time and wanted to do it.

I always steal my kids tokens to play Flaming Finger at Chuck's. I am a token stealer.

July 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCorrie

oh this quacky weather! I'm so sorry you missed your best day ever. I sooo want to come visit now and go quacking!

oh and as for the boy? OMG!!! I can't believe she had her first kiss already!

July 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSusie

The ducky tours used to pass me when I was leaving work a lot of days (I parked at the Mon Wharf and they drive up from the river there). I always thought it looked like fun. But my party-pooper hubby who lived in the 'Burgh all of his life rolled his eyes at me every time I mentioned it.

July 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle Smiles

uh oh...should be interesting when she meets Gavin...he's scrawny...about 34 lbs and 38 inches tall. But red-head. :)

And they have some ducks at Wisconsin Dells, too. Great fun.

And really? your trip on the amphibian vehicles was cancelled due to RAIN?

July 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterColleen

When I come to your town I expect you to give us a tour. Not ducks. :p

July 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterImmoral Matriarch

That is a cute cute story. I loved it. Already parking with a boy. Watch out for that one.

July 27, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfroggylove

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