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Big Head, Big Heart

When I enrolled Alexis in gymnastics lessons, I have to admit I had a few ulterior motives. While the main reason I enrolled her was the hope that she would have some fun, I certainly consider it a bonus if the kid manages to somehow learn to be slightly less klutzy. I would love for her to go from having the grace of a buffalo wearing high heels to that of a tutu-wearing hippopotamus.

So far, that is soooo not working out. I swear the kid has a lead weight in her head because she winds up landing on it several times a day. Her head is abnormally ginormous (if I had permission from the other kids' parents I would show you photos from a daycare picnic which clearly shows her head is twice the width of all the other kids--she may be a blockhead, but she's MY blockhead). She has always had a big head, and will probably always have a big head. At some point in time she's going to have to figure out how to keep it above her shoulders on a consistent basis.

When the kid isn't knocking her noggin on the floor, she's on her butt. I don't understand it, I just know that she manages to fall flat on her tush at least a dozen times per day. Sometimes she's running like a madwoman and falls, sometimes she's spinning like a top and falls, and sometimes she's doing something highly recommended like jumping on the couch and falls.

If I had a dollar for each time I have yelled at her to quit jumping on the couch, I would have enough money to hire the kid a few bodyguards to protect her from herself.

The path to less klutz seems to be a bit too late. A few nights ago, the awkward buffalo was bouncing on the couch, getting yelled at, and then felt the need to prove my point by falling off. Of course her booty landed right on the edge of a puzzle box. Across her behind is a very lovely inch wide bruise.

It looks like we spanked her with a stick.

It's been two days. The bruise is pretty dang noticeable if you're changing her diaper. I'm torn on one little issue. Is the fact that daycare hasn't mentioned it because they haven't noticed it, or is it because they have met her and her klutzy buffalo ways?

(BTW, she's not There's Something Wrong Klutzy, she's A Father's Daughter Klutzy.)

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Reader Comments (45)

Holy first Batman!!!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNap Warden

I swear we are raising the same kid!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNap Warden

I always prefer to be third, thank you very much. :)

Fear not, I heard from a good gymnast that all good gymnasts are clutzy. Seriously. He told us that after my son's friend stumbled into the foyer.

Maybe he was just being nice.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRoger

She's a very adorable klutzy!

And she's in good company...doesn't Dora have a big head??!!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBia

I am guessing option B.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwheelsonthebus

My Joey always had (still does) a big head and it was completely bald for a loooonnnnngggg time. My sis always called him Charlie Brown cause he looked like such a blockhead. Poor kid.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn

One question..Aren't they supposed to sleep ON the mats at daycare?

I wouldn't worry about the klutz thing.I am sure she will be dancing around like tutu wearing hippo in no time.

I want to put Lil C in gymnastics but I am afraid if she wants on the balance beam and some other kid is on there she might push them off and say "my turn".She is gonna be a bully.I can see it.Phone calls from school are in my future.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSgtSudsWife

Tip- It's always good to mention noticeable bruising on your kid to her classroom teachers. Daycare workers are held accountable for that sort of thing so they keep an eye out for it. It's not so much that they'll assume abuse and ChildLine you, it's more that they might think it happened in the daycare, but they're not sure. At my daycare we had to write out an incident report for ANY lasting mark that occured in the day care (bruising, scrapes, bite marks, etc.)

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLilacspecs

Maybe.... just maybe, mind you....

They, as overworked, over stressed and underpaid childcare workers, are secretly applauding what they believe to be the Return To Corporal Punishment movement you are starting.

Of course, they are still left wondering why YOU are the parent starting it, as Alexis is always the beautiful, golden Angel Child.

Not like little Johnny Obnoxious over stealing everyone's toys on the other side of the room. Where he was just sent for biting all the kids on THIS side of the room.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Sports Mama

just for the record, the roo-girl is a TOTAL clutz, yet she tumbles and flies and all that stuff.

could trip over a painted line, my girl could!

so ... there's hope for alexis.... to be a cheerleader :-P

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthe planet of janet

I'm raising a completely ungraceful child, but she honestly can bruise just by looking at her.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMisty

TB's the same - he's always crashing into/falling over things. Takes after his mother! Daycare have probably both seen worse and become accustomed to her 'klutzy buffalo ways'!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGlowstars

Only you can call Alexis and akward buffalo and make it sound freakin' adorable!!

Hallie :)

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWonderful World of Weiners

I love it! "The awkward buffalo was bouncing on the couch."

Things work out for those of us who are klutzes. We may not be Nastia Lukin, but we do alright. I have a huge scar under my chin from trying to emulate Olympic divers when I was 4. Caught my foot on the edge of the chair and went down on my chin onto the hardwood floor. I survived all the blood and gore and don't remember a thing about it. :-)

Peace - D

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRiverPoet

So then not only will she never outgrow The Big Head, but apparently not The Clumsiness either.

The poor, poor kid.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Quick funny story about a bruise. I picked up Hannah from Daycare one day and she happened to be sleeping when I got there...I walked over scooped her up and about had a heart attack...She had what looked to be a huge bruise around her mouth. I asked and the daycare lady said "It wasn't there when she layed down" so I'm thinking "Oh she just started beating the crap out of herself when she sleeps." So I rush her into the Urgent care to make sure nothing was wrong. Well After being questioned on when or why I had punched my child in the face (mind you by a police officer that the urgent care called) Sweet little Hannah was so tired and "Firsty" so I grabbed a cup and gave her some water when she said "look mommy, I funny" she sucked the cup to her face and the police officer taht was standing guard our door to ensure I didn't flip out and beat her in the room started cracking up laughing...sooo not funny to me. She had done this at daycare earlier in the day and it left a hickey. So $75 dollars, 4 hours and an interogation later we were free to go.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Gah/. Yeah. I refused to send Nick to the church nursery once for a similar bruised-butt issue (wooden blocks, not a puzzle box). But, you know, I have this irrational fear of CPS. sigh.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFireMom

I wonder if it’s a “big head” thing.
When I was born, my head was so big they made my Mom take me to the neurologist for testing. Then one day my Dad brought me. They suddenly discovered it was just a family trait and so dropped the issue.
But I was supposedly diagnosed by the military pediatrician with “Clumsy Child Syndrome”. Somehow I doubt that’s a real thing, but my parents enrolled me in ballet in the hopes of teaching me grace and coordination.
I took dance for years. Even HS, college, and took ballroom with Hubby.
This morning, I injured myself just getting ready enough times to require 5 bandaids.

I don’t think the dance classes helped.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecoming Mommy

Bruises come with being a kid. Aaron's usually sporting a ton all over the place. It's looks like we beat him on a regular basis. I'm waiting for the call from daycare that he needs stitches or broken something.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenternikki

OK, yeah-been there done that. I too enrolled Soph in gymnastics to avoid the falls off the jungle gyms at the park--it took a year, but now she is a lean climbing machine--seriously! She was constantly falling-giving me heart attacks ALL.THE.TIME.
I ended up just letting her jump btw-the couch will have to be replaced after baby days are gone anyway.

I don't know what's up w/ the daycare, but poor thing! It must hurt to sit. Maybe they are afraid they did it, so they aren't saying anything. Hmmm. Now that's a scary thought.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSusie

My parents put me in gymnastics at age 4 for the same reason - I was a klutz. And for the next 13 years or so, I was very graceful while I was actually on the beam or bars, or during a floor exercise. But then I would walk off and trip over my own feet. Perhaps it will work out better for Alexis...

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGina

She may be an awkward buffalo, but one things for sure........she's the most adorable awkward buffalo!

I always looked like I was beat when I was little......I always had bruises because I was ktutzy. To this day you can always count about at least 5 bruises on me!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I think the clumsiness comes from the fact that they don't realize their spacial boundaries as they grow.
Take for instance J Boy: He has not been able to just walk under the kitchen table for at least a year, yet he tries just about everyday. The poor kids head is all bumped up and the other night the knot was almost as large as his entire head!

As for a "large cranium"....well....I know a little girl who has a head that should be included in the world records. Her shirts are all stretched out at the collar from pulling it over that large sputnik of a thing!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVal

I figure the daycare probably realizes she's a bit clutzy and that kids get bruises all the time, right?

I'm this really weird mix of clutz and grace, and I think gymnastics and dance classes helped with the graceful part a bit. So you never know!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercaramama

Oprah has a giant head and look where it got her!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterhoneywine

Big head = Big Brains.

Remember that. There will be a test later.

As for the klutzy, don't worry. Just keep letting her move -- and yes, fall and get bruised. The people who know her (you, daycare, gymnastics) will know what the bruises are from. Hell, I had some guy walk up to me in the grocery when #1 had a black eye and pat me on the back and sincerely tell me I was doing a great job as a mom -- possibly because I'm NOT one of those mothers who tries to protect her kids from the world. Bumps and bruises are a part of learning.

Don't sweat 'em. They're WAY better than broken bones!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSusan Helene Gottfried

Maybe it's a girl thing? My daughter is 14 and is the biggest klutz I have ever seen.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTammy

My middle childs nicknamce is "Grace" for this very reason. :)

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterValarie

To help with the bumps and bruises, you can pick up some Arnica Montana, which you can get in dissolvable tables and as a topical (but can only be administered to unbroken skin, normally). Anyway, Arnica Montana is herbal and AWESOME for injuries/bruises/swelling. It helps you heal superfast naturally. Definitely worth it. Vitamin Shoppe has it :)

How freaking funny. My boys were little acrobats. They had their bruises but they were and are total athletes. That's why I married a jock, so my kids didn't run into every table we own like I do. My mom used to call me clod. The only place I am truly graceful is in water. Lots of water~pool, ocean, lake.

She'll grow out of it. Maybe. :)

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCrazed Mom

Once again? Your kid and mine? Separated at birth.

Mine has always been on the tiny side of the percentile spectrum as far as weight and height (we started out in the 5th percentile, and only because I think they thought we'd panic if they put anything lower than that on the chart), but Little Man's head? Has ALWAYS been at the top.

At one point, he was 15th percentile height and weight and 95th percentile for head circumference. Sweetie Pie was like "how the HELL does he hold that giant head of his up?"

We can only buy shirts that have buttons at the opening, as most t-shirts that are LM's size don't fit over his head. Also? The other day, I was at Chidren's Place and saw the winter hats and decided to put a 4T/5T on him just to see, and the thing was actually pretty tight.

This is the same boy who can STILL wear 18-month shorts.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCatwoman

Yay! for big headed kids. Have you seen Dylan's head? And as for being klutzy - Dylan is a Mother's Son Klutzy. I knew there was a reason I love Alexis.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I think the fact that they haven't mentioned it is worrisome enough...

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered

I myself am klutzy. My ex-boyfriend is klutzy. My boyfriend is klutzy. That, is the perfect recipe for klutzy children! My girl, she climbs on everything. She'd climb on the top of the fireplace if she could! She falls too. If it would only teach her a lesson.

That is an extremely cute picture!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRebecka

Big head beause she's got LOTS of brains up there. Honest. :) I'm a block head too, I know.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeanne

I'm with leanne - that's why I tell myself Sumo's head is freakish in dimension, anyway.

I know exactly what you mean about injuries that make other people go "wtf." I always felt bad for my nanny when those kind of injuries happened on her watch because I know she was like "this woman thinks I beat her kid" when in reality, he was just learning that the gymnastics sport of "tumbling" actually takes place on a mat instead of on concrete.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTranny Head

When Oatmeal Head was almost three, I took him to the pediatrician to see if he had an ear infection. He kept falling over on his head. And running into doorknobs. Turns out he was just growing really quickly and couldn't keep up with himself.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFlea

Please let Alexis know that I completely understand clumsiness. I've taken out more door jams with my shoulder than I can count.

September 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTootsie Farklepants

Big heads hold big brains. Puppy had a freakishly large head as a baby - and I feared Knute would have one & imagined giving birth to that cranium! And, we all know how smart my smartass is.

September 11, 2008 | Unregistered

my daughter's head is also huge. Look at my post on 9/4 and see her huge newborn head and you'll see how bad that (vaginal) birth hurt!

Her head size is why we induced two weeks early.

September 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCPA Mom

my daughter's head is also huge. Look at my post on 9/4 and see her huge newborn head and you'll see how bad that (vaginal) birth hurt!

Her head size is why we induced two weeks early.

September 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCPA Mom

(1) I finally broke down and consented to the purchase of a couch yesterday. I have cursed myself no fewer than 1,000 times today as I watch the kids use it as a launching pad for their insatiable need to jump.

(2) Both of my kids look like I beat them on a daily basis. The bruises and bite marks were so bad several months ago that I postponed Maren's well baby check-up out of fear that I would be reported!

September 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFishsticks and Fireflies

*L* you do know that big head makes for great hairstyling, right? Especially if it's nice & round. Bless her big head.

September 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBirdie

Oh, daycare has noticed...

But, they probably have met her in those heels, and know the truth.

We had the same issue with the Howler (and 6 years into it, we still have this issue.) She had a slight black eye for about one year--when learning to walk, apparently, she could only catch herself from falling with her face. Her daycare, thank God, knew this, and never mentioned it, except to share stories of their own accident/bruise prone toddlers.

September 11, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermumple

I have a nephew with a big head too, he reminds me of Charlie Brown. I think the daycare knows her. Kids will be kids. Mine would have been reported if people didn't see all the stuff they do and know that it's all self inflicted wounds. Most are amazed I've managed to keep them alive so far, me included.

September 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShellie

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